How does one “live for themself”?

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

I know I'm probably being vague, but basically what do you do to live disregarding or not worrying about expectations of others? For example, what kind of goals do you set, and how do you avoid losing the energy to reach them?

 

[Seiba]

There's nothing special, no task laid out you must do or not do. I'd ask more so why this concept has drawn itself to you? I was homeschooled from twelve onwards and only left my house for the grocery store each week and grandparents sometimes. Living only for yourself and having little in the way of social relationships is not a good goal for most people. For losing energy towards goals, I cannot help you. I am very lazy and struggle with doing anything. If you didn't mean something that extreme, sorry. You did say yourself it was vague so you'd need to define it a little more. Expectations would depend on how extreme they are, some level is normal even when you're a recluse in a grocery store -- it's part of a social contract.

 

[timf]

One potential problem with goal setting is that one can imagine a future state anticipating happiness, wealth, social prominence, etc. This sort of expectation can be harmful in two ways. First, what one achieves is seldom what was anticipated. Secondly, the duration of waiting for the goal often becomes a a sort of dessert. It has been said that life is what happens while you are waiting for something else.

Others, like family members, can impress upon one goals that they sincerely believe will be beneficial. This was captured a little in the movie "Caddy Shack".

Danny Noonan: "I have to go to college"
Ty Webb: "What, is this Russia?"

To "live for oneself" is often cited as a negative for those who selfishness destroys their own lives or that of others. It can also be cited as a remedy for someone who is bullied or controlled by others.

In general it can be beneficial to identify what things you enjoy and derive satisfaction from and spend your time pursuing that which edifies you.

Seeking truth
Cultivating friendships
Pursuing special interests
Learning new skills or subjects
Travel

 

[Crazy4u]

even living for yourself requires motivation and consistency. Examples of me living for myself in the past:

- focus on workout and losing weight
- relax and go to spa every few months
- take supplements such as 5 htp, multi vitamins, iron,....etc
- self care
- avoid others drama and try not to be involved
- buy nice stuff for myself once in a while