How does a therapist react if a patient kills themself?

[TheTraveller]

Okay I thought I would respond, I do hope that whatever the reaction will be at least with some kindness! even if its criticism which I welcome I it's been a shit day. ( and of course I'm smashed again)

I know that there are some terrible practitioners out there- in my opinion particularly psychiatrists. It seems the practioners that are doctors can get away with more shit and are less in touch and seem to escape responsibility for poor professionalism. That is my opinion. I know I won't go see anyone anymore except this on guy in NZ he is the best and one lady in Alberta.!

In my 20 plus years as a social worker/counsellor I've had several people kill themselves, I had several friends too (unfortunately no family haha they are too narcissistic for that)

There have been a few people who CTB that I thought ya "I get that" I hope you have a safe journey, schizophrenia's so hard and long term addiction, I have no idea why anyone sticks around for that shit but you are not allowed to say or believe that in any helping profession you MUST abide but mandate to stop people suiciding always, no matter what you think. This said I've had a friend who felt like he was being pushed towards it by a practitioner but he wasn't sent there for that? weird? Even though I acted according to mandated set my beliefs aside I was investigated to make sure I provided all supports, didn't miss any "steps", acted as dictated by their policy. Its policy to investigate all harm to self or others in some places but at least there is usually a review.

There have been there clients that have CTB and I thought I had failed them and perhaps I had. In fact I'm positive there have been people I failed mostly because I'm also a people and sometimes I didn't do a good job. There was one lady that I just couldn't reach at all not even a little bit. I was new to that country and maybe if a had just pass her to someone from there... I don't know. I often think of her. There's other but I'm not in a place to dig all that up right now. I was also investigated for that one ( in that country you are investigated if a client harms themselves or others for up to 2 years even after they are discharged from your care)

I think I saw my job as a counsellor/SW a little different then others bc of my spiritual views, I am a story keeper, I remember each person's story whether they are still here or not; I keep them in me. I am responsible to hold that story; I'd be lying if I said that that hasn't changed me. I know that they say don't be emotional towards clients but... I couldn't not and I think that dumb. Some professionals can though... some are good at it and some are just narcissist or psychopaths. here's an interesting article even though he's not a therapist. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/scie...who-discovered-he-was-a-psychopath-180947814/

SO here are some of my ponderings:

1. if we are pro decision for suicide should it be our expectation a therapist try to stop us
2. what would therapy look like if it was prochoice for suicide and you could talk openly about it with them and if in the end suicide is your then that is accepted
3. how can we have counselling/therapy/SW that is open to being prochoice if they are blamed for our actions and choices (investigations, views and being sued)
4. would pro decision counselling/therapy/SW actually be positive
5. do you think someone else therapist or not should be help responsible for your/our actions and choices
These are what I ponder I have not landed on any steadfast opinions, Love to hear your guys thoughts.

Lastly, if you think your therapist has done wrong put it in your suicide note, copy it before you catch the bus send it to the place they work, their professional body t, someone at the health ministry and maybe a newspaper. If you think they've been that bad... that should do it.

maybe they provides some insight... maybe not. i'm a fuckTard so...

 

[Not_Quite_Dead_Yet]

I think it depends on the system, especially if it's money-driven or not. Where I live, they definitely care and can be traumatized by a suicide.

Likely you live in a smallish town or the country then? It is harder to form caring bonds with a therapist (or anyone else) in a large, impersonal metropolitan area where time, empathy and genuine feelings are scarce commodities.

 

[Sensei]

Likely you live in a smallish town or the country then?

I live in a city. I'd say it works more or less the same wherever one lives in my country.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Never experienced any empathy from them.
My first therapist called me selfish and attention seeking and acussed me of fabricating my trauma.
The second one actually had a patient kill themselves by drowning herself in the river and she described it without any emotion. She banned me from the art community she was running because I was an addict and started relapsing and doing stupid things
Overall they were all either heartless or indifferent
Maybe its just a shitty country, the one Im living in?

 

[porfin1234]

Pretty sure my therapist was done with me. Finally made the "Joke" that if she were my friend and I talked about jumping off a mountain again she would say "go ahead".
It's ok. One of my 3 biggest regrets in life is ever seeing a therapist or psychiatrist and wasting my money.
Since my cure is just to meditate, do hobbies, and control my emotions like an adult. Hah. My fam and friends and SO told me that shit anyway.

 

[Secrets1]

In the US if your death isn't by natural causes it'll result in an inquest, them knowing and paperwork. Despite what we may feel on the other end, I think it has a significant negative overall effect on most therapists.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

Their personalities range so some may feel nothing, some upset, disappointed, feel like they let you or their job down etc, angry, sympathy for loved ones. To the people wrapped in cotton wool dare I say some will want you to commit suicide. Serial killers by means of choosing a victim out of their patients whos head they enjoy screwing the most.

 

[Kumachan]

Patient: dies

Therapist: Neeext!

 

[Hoopali]

My suicide note contains an apology to my counsellor.

I think every therapist/counsellor I've seen have been caring and very understanding and have made me feel valued.

However, I also think (and appreciate) that they MUST be very careful to consciously distance themselves from their patients. They can show empathy for people but they must not take on those people's burdens otherwise after three patients the therapist would be on the couch themselves.

Think about it. Could you read every thread on here in one sitting? Everything from people who want to ctb because of horrific things that have happened to them, or due to mental or physical health issues right through to someone who wants to jump in front of a train because their shoelace on their best pair of shoes snapped? (Made that one up for comparative purposes)

Could you take, say, a random dozen of those threads and empathise with every single one? Reply to every single one uniquely and listen to the response and have that conversation to the exclusion of everything else? I couldn't. You may think you can, you may try, but if you took that home with you and let it get in your head it would eat you alive.

I cannot speak for all therapists of course. Maybe some really are total arseholes, but then there are others who do probably care too much. I think them getting the balance right must be extremely difficult but to tar them all with the same brush as some people seem to be comes across as extremely harsh to me.

Sorry - rant over! This wasn't aimed at anyone specifically by the way

What was the question again? Ah yes. Ultimately I suspect it depends on country and comes with a load of forms to complete. But from a professional pride point of view, I would think a lot of therapists would think "Could I have done something differently to have prevented that from happening?", which I can completely understand.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

shoelace on their best pair of shoes snapped?

To quote a segment of a poem from Charles Bukowski,
it's not the large things
that send a man to the
madhouse…
not the death of his love
no, it's the continuing series of small tragedies...
a shoelace that snaps
with no time left…

She banned me from the art community she was running because I was an addict and started relapsing and doing stupid things

Theyre not acting personal against you buddy. If you are using a social community mental health group they cannot allow you by law if you are using illicit drugs. Yet I do find this annoying as piss heads (drunkards) who are of the worst to be around are allowed as long as they don't appear too intoxicated. But in general anybody using too much of any substance won't benefit from the course and will likely put other clients at un ease as they become more confident or passive aggressive... Not themselves.
These things are designed for timid people so if you are as you say "doing stupid things" they are right to dismiss you.
But again like a say something needs to be brought in to also combat that in general you get people faking mental illness to reap the benefits they perceive they receive whether that be benefit money or taking advantage of vulnerable people on the course. Men are terrible for it especially using these courses to meet insecure females.

 

[Hoopali]

To quote a segment of a poem from Charles Bukowski,
it's not the large things
that send a man to the
madhouse…
not the death of his love
no, it's the continuing series of small tragedies...
a shoelace that snaps
with no time left…

Ha, that's genius. I love the fact you know that.

 

[whereispeace]

Probably with anger and disdain. But that's my cynicism talking.

 

[littlemisssunshine]

I totally agree with what previous posters have said about therapists abusing their positions of power / gaslighting patients - some therapists I've had have minimised my abuse, sided with my abusers, told me my problems were trivial. Have pretty much put me off getting any kind of help and have made me feel worse and have had me at the edge of ctb a few times. I doubt these type of people care what happens to their patients - more likely than not get off on our suicides.

I've also had therapy from two amazing psychologists - who I truly believe would have been upset if I had ctb whilst they were working with me - and I think they would be the same of all their patients. Genuine, real, empathetic, kind, patient humans.

One of these therapists even wrote me a goodbye letter at the end of therapy and went above and beyond their duty saying how hard it was for therapists to 'let go' of their clients too. A proper therapist should care and be upset on a human level.

think it's the same as anything - some people are more empathic and caring than others hense choosing that kind of career - some people are purely in a position of trust and power so that they can abuse that position and make people feel even worse whilst claiming to help.

sorry to anyone else who's been gaslighted or treated unprofessionaly by a therapist or medical profession. Anyone that gets off on increasing someone's already painful life needs their own kind of help imo.

 

[Fish Face]

They might happen to see your obituary. Other than that I don't know any other way they'd find out. If they did find out I doubt they'd really careThey

Patient: dies

Therapist: Neeext!

I am guessing you are in the UK. They only want the simple cases. It helps with KPIs if someone gets better with six weeks with a barely trained therapist.