Discussion How do you justify the guilt of leaving your pain behind to others (parents or anyone else that loves you)?

[onelastcall]

I am not scared of death. But I don't think anybody should suffer because I couldn't hold onto my suffering. I don't feel as a functioning human being but it's hard to explain it to people who care for you.

 

[kvsvenky100]

There's no guilt because I never consented to be born.

 

[alienfreak]

My mother chose to bring me into this world as an independent human. She chose that massive responsibility and all the consequences that come with it.

As a loner with nobody here for me that loves me I have to try to be my own best friend and do what is best for myself.

Even if i think of it as a calculation i think the net suffering will be an improvement since i bet nobody will feel bad enough to kill themselves, so they wont feel as bad as i feel.

It helps that i have important financial resources that will be distributed upon my death, so in the long term i think ctb may actually be better for the person that i do care about

None of us are important anyway. 8 billion humans, like overpopulated animals, a virus over the world. People die every second. As individuals we put far too much pressure on ourselves when we are no more important than ants.

 

[Unspoken7612]

Quite simply, if my friends and family can choose to do things that are good for them but bad for me, and I think they can, then I can choose to do things that are good for me and bad for them.

 

[suicidaltransgirl]

My family has always been horrible to me so i don't worry about that, but friends yes, it's one of the few reasons I haven't taken serious action towards ending my life yet.

 

[FuneralCry]

I see voluntary death as a personal decision and personally I'd always prefer to die, I have no interest in prolonging all pointless suffering in this existence I never would have chose just to be tortured and tormented by old age. To me only non-existence is desirable, only in non-existence can I never suffer again and to be permanently unable to suffer is all I hope for.

 

[DeadNotSleeping]

I figure if they really love me they'll be happy that I'm no longer in pain. Yes it will hurt them there's no getting around that but I think in the long run it'll be okay. If not then idk. Fuck it I'll be dead anyway.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I can't. That's why I'm still stuck here.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I do it by not caring about them in the first place. They had their chance to help me but even when they try, it's not enough so why should they bother caring about me in the first place? My suicide note will lay out in detail just how stupid and idiotic it is to mourn over someone so selfish and evil as me in the first place. Hopefully they'll wake up and see just how dumb it is to feel sad over my death. They should really be celebrating that someone like me is dead in the first place.

 

[onelastcall]

I can't. That's why I'm still stuck here.

yeah, what more is there to add. The final push but I can't get over it. My closure for their despair. I am just waiting to rot away until even that part of me stops caring.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

You don't. You just accept that you'll be to dead to care.

 

[avalonisburning]

I love them truly, but I think it's 1000x more selfish than anything I could possibly do, to want me to be chained to this planet for another five or six decades simply because they would feel icky and use me as a scapegoat for their self-destruction if I weren't. It's because I love them that I'm not going to just shut up and accept such an outrageous idea just because they're family and I don't want to rock the boat.

 

[getoutgrave]

I just cant justify it, knowing how much itd probably crush my parents.

Honestly its probably the only reason im still here lol

 

[Just_Another_Person]

That's why I distanced myself from all friends, except one. My family has their share of guilty in me wanting ctb, so I'm not very worried about them. In fact I will leave a note saying it isn't their fault just so they don't guilty themselves over.

 

[ham and potatoes]

I just cant justify it, knowing how much itd probably crush my parents.

Honestly its probably the only reason im still here lol

Same here.... Not wanting to cause my loved ones pain is the only reason I'm still around

 

[asobersomber]

It's something I think about but it's not something that would play a role in stopping me from ctb. Might sound fucked up but I don't care anymore, mostly because sooo much of my life has been about how other people feel, and those same people never considering how they act may affect me.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

They may be devastated. It was devastating to me to literally wake up one random day with a horrible health ailment and suffer excruciating agony with no compassion, support, or understanding from hardly anyone. That is how.

The minority of people who provided something resembling those things know to defer to my expertise about what I need.

That is how.

 

[NegevChina]

They may be devastated. It was devastating to me to literally wake up one random day with a horrible health ailment and suffer excruciating agony with no compassion, support, or understanding from hardly anyone. That is how.

The minority of people who provided something resembling those things know to defer to my expertise about what I need.

That is how.

Thank you for that. It reminds me how some of my loved ones (Mainly my wife and siblings) dont listen to my agony and understand it. I have a disabling health issue that is medically hard to detect. It has such an impact on my life that its making it impossible for me to get a job. Still I am destroyed by the pain I will cause my sons. (Youngest is 20 yo). I love them so much and they love me to. I understand though that the more time goes by the more I cause them damage because Im beginning to be a burden on everyone. This is so painful for me I sit and cry when writing them good bye notes trying to explain why I cant keep going. I'm not sure they will understand. It will be so painful for them. But seeing me become a jobless, homeless, perhaps a shadow of the strong supporting father they used to have might be more painful for them.