Discussion How do you guys feel on a daily basis?

[time.is.near]

Im wondering when you guys are at your absolute worse, how do you feel when you "regularly" go about your day the best you can?

Personally I feel dread, and a ton of anxiety. I also feel pretty lethargic and have no motivation.

I'm asking bc I just want to see how other people feel and what they go through and think daily.

 

[isolatedl111]

I am rotting and thinking about suicide

 

[lilah]

Im wondering when you guys are at your absolute worse, how do you feel when you "regularly" go about your day the best you can?

Personally I feel dread, and a ton of anxiety. I also feel pretty lethargic and have no motivation.

I'm asking bc I just want to see how other people feel and what they go through and think daily.

I remove myself socially. i self isolate and spend 12 hours a day maladaptative daydreaming/bed rotting.

i'm proud of this routine of mine bc i finally realised that i don't owe the world anything. i don't have to try hard, or be 'courageous' or try new things and other bs.

i don't have to be a light into a world of darkness for the next generation. idgaf about how my cowardice affects the world and this is freeing.

I am rotting and thinking about suicide

same. mostly reading the pph and trying to gather as much substances as possible.

 

[Red Moon]

I also have little motivation and think about suicide a lot.

I feel a lot of emptiness and numbness, dread, sometimes anger.

 

[SVEN]

I just make believe by putting up a false front. Inside I'm dead.

 

[dyingslowly]

Im wondering when you guys are at your absolute worse, how do you feel when you "regularly" go about your day the best you can?

Personally I feel dread, and a ton of anxiety. I also feel pretty lethargic and have no motivation.

I'm asking bc I just want to see how other people feel and what they go through and think daily.

I just try to get sleep using a drug called Xanax or take it and get up be going but I only take it when I am very down. I also take another drug daily to keep stuff under control which is escitalopram both are very useful in navigating through this.

 

[pollux]

Usually neutral, bored or somewhat blue.

 

[FuneralCry]

Personally I find it so dreadful to exist, I have so much dread for what lies ahead especially as there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel in this existence that can continue for so long. Under no circumstances would I wish to exist rather I see existence as an abomination and a terrible mistake that causes endless amounts of suffering all for the sake of it and problems there was never a need for.

The thought of prolonging this unnecessary suffering just to die in agony from old age is so horrific to me, I'm so tired of being enslaved in this existence without the option to just simply die in peace and never suffer ever again, non-existence is all I see as desirable and it's all I've ever wished for. I find existence to be the most torturous, futile burden and more than anything I wish this existence was never imposed, I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what.

 

[divinemistress36]

I go from deeply depressed and unmotivated to hyperviglant and wanting to fight

 

[outrider567]

Defeated

 

[TheHolySword]

Every single moment of every single day I am thinking about suicide. It is always on my mind, always part of me. I am filled with constant dread and despair, overwhelming depression and sadness, unending pain and suffering. I am in misery.

 

[PlannedforPeru]

Like shit. Doesn't matter if I spent the previous day being productive or bed rotting with a side of unhealthy coping, I wake up the next day not necessarily wanting to die but to have not woken up.

 

[Wanted Opioid]

I feel envy towards almost everyone I see when I go outside

 

[L'absent]

I don't do anything in particular. I'm planning my final exit well. I try to stay healthy to avoid anything stopping me. I have many ideas about many things I would like to do and fix before leaving this madhouse called life. But I'm lazy and I won't fix anything, I'll leave things as they are. The days bore me, but this is normal, it has always been this way. I am not depressed and I am not looking for any form of happiness in my little time left. I don't expect anything from life, I know how it works well and I live with detachment. I'm fine with my feelings. I really don't regret anything.

 

[pariah80]

I always say that I'm a bit of an outlier on this site. Yes, I'm basically depressed. However, I don't hate myself. I hate how life has turned out, both for myself and in general. I have my moments where I just look around in horror at what the human race is devolving into and what has become of life. However, I'm not sad about my decision to leave anymore. I'm actually relieved. I will miss my friends, and I love them deeply. I hope they are not dismayed nor saddened too much by my leaving. But I don't drag through the day in misery. I have a plan, a reliable means of carrying it out, and clarity on what I want. So, most of the time, I'm just carrying on with my day in peace.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I'm in a perpetual state of despair and anguish. During the day I'm in a bit of a daze, I'm not as alive anymore and my mind constantly churns through painful memories.

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

Pretty neutral as of right now. College exams are approaching, hopefully my SN arrives before that.

 

[kitkat9234]

Numb. Obsessive thoughts of suicide.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

There are periods of peace because I don't really work. Exercise sometimes feels good. I go to the movies often, though my own thought-system is too poisoned to enjoy much. Coaching high school wrestling does not give a lot of juice for the squeeze, at least not at my school, which is full of dysfunctional poor people.

If I were working again I'd probably just shoot myself. This NEET situation gives me too much hope--I know I couldn't handle the stress of education or employment, things I already tried and failed. But there are a couple hours a day where I think maybe I could go on. Maybe try to teach the brats for $45k/year. Ugh.

Shotgun in the mouth in the spring is probably best. Grotesque, but I won't even hear it.

 

[savory]

Listless, blanked out/not present, vulnerable, painful to smile, talk and look others in the eye, desire to be alone as much and as soon as possible, like I could easily cry at any moment, shoulders and back tense like I can feel others' eyes on me

 

[LostLily]

Empty

 

[coolgal82]

it varies, depending on the day. alot of the time it's just kinda bored and sad, but sometimes it isnt and im actually happy (extremely happy tbh like everything in the world seems so beautiful and perfect in that state sometimes even) usually when im with my besties but also like sometimes randomly when not? and then other times im having/on the verge of a breakdown, or im angry (usually at my besties if its that bad as to like be the average for the day) or like many other things idk

 

[WhiteRabbit]

How I feel emotionally directly corresponds to how I'm feeling physically. If it's a high pain day, thoughts of suicide are constant.

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

I remove myself socially. i self isolate and spend 12 hours a day maladaptative daydreaming/bed rotting.

i'm proud of this routine of mine bc i finally realised that i don't owe the world anything. i don't have to try hard, or be 'courageous' or try new things and other bs.

i don't have to be a light into a world of darkness for the next generation. idgaf about how my cowardice affects the world and this is freeing.

same. mostly reading the pph and trying to gather as much substances as possible.

Same for me!

 

[Leiot]

If I have to go out, I feel like I'm invisible, not really existing in the world everyone else lives in.

 

[Metalhead]

I bedrot mostly & try my utmost to avoid any human contact, have been like this for over a year.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I wake up tired and full of anxiety. I'm thinking about suicide within seconds. Then, it's a massive effort to drag myself out of bed and start the day. I'm usually much later than I'd like starting work (I work from home.) I spend most of the morning feeling deeply resentful at why I was even born and how long I might have to wait to die and how scary/painful it might be. Mornings seem to be worst in a way. I just try to put stuff on in the background to distract me. Food tends to pick me up a little. My main emotions though are: Lethargy/ reluctance/ feeling hugely fed up with everything/ resentment/ frustration/ sadness.

 

[J&L383]

Personally I feel dread, and a ton of anxiety. I also feel pretty lethargic and have no motivation.

Lots of anxiety for me too. Pretty hard to get motivated. The days just keep coming, sometimes I wish I could hit a pause button.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I feel envy towards almost everyone I see when I go outside

Im wondering when you guys are at your absolute worse, how do you feel when you "regularly" go about your day the best you can?

Personally I feel dread, and a ton of anxiety. I also feel pretty lethargic and have no motivation.

I'm asking bc I just want to see how other people feel and what they go through and think daily.

I sleep my days away. The days I don't work, I pop sleeping pills so I can sleep the whole day away. The only time I'm woke is when I'm waiting for my next dose to kick in.

If I have to work, I'll sleep until I have to work and repeat.

Like now, I've waken up and waiting for my pills to kick in again. I just don't want to live and the only way to escape is sleep. I only go out if I must to get food or work only.

 

[avalokitesvara]

Bladee sums it up pretty good here:​

Every day is just another Monday morning, every day's the same
I wake up with my blinds down, golden light of day slipping away
I wake up wanting to go back to sleep because the rain
Heavy rain falling forever on an everlasting flame
Heavy two-headed axe in a dirty duffel bag
Heavy hammers in the right hand, they can turn castles into sand
In the rain world, money system seeing how to scam the scam