How do you guys cope with the aftermath?

[CinerateX]

I'll preface this with, I have OCD. And I'm really particular about certain things. For instance, I leave my PC to sleep because every time it shuts down, I need to open up all the things I had running again. I need certain pages opened and loaded before I can use my computer normally. Usually takes me a while to do, hence leaving it on sleep so it all saves.

So, with ctb, how do you cope with the idea of potentially surviving? How do you cope with the idea that if you wake back up, you'll have to face all the bridges you've burned to get there. I'm thinking about resetting my PC and phone for privacy and such. What are you guys preparing? And how do you fix things if you wake back up. How do you say goodbye to Internet friends (so you don't just ghost them) and then handle getting them back if you fail.

A little all over the place, I've just been thinking about this and dreading it.

Please share if you wish.

 

[TheHolySword]

I can't fail. I've burned my bridges. There's no life for me to go back to, I can't fix anything that I've done. Dying scares me, but surviving is a completely different level of fear. I won't know how to pick up the pieces this time, I don't think I can just continue.

 

[CinerateX]

I can't fail. I've burned my bridges. There's no life for me to go back to, I can't fix anything that I've done. Dying scares me, but surviving is a completely different level of fear. I won't know how to pick up the pieces this time, I don't think I can just continue.

I get you, and feel the same way. My best friend recently cut contact and I feel abandoned and in the same place I was years ago, alone. And I can't go back. I just worry that with the chances of failure, it might not be my choice. What's your plan, if you don't mind my asking. I think it's okay to ask here? Mine is partial suspension hanging in my wardrobe, if I can get the knots right.

 

[TheHolySword]

I get you, and feel the same way. My best friend recently cut contact and I feel abandoned and in the same place I was years ago, alone. And I can't go back. I just worry that with the chances of failure, it might not be my choice. What's your plan, if you don't mind my asking. I think it's okay to ask here? Mine is partial suspension hanging in my wardrobe, if I can get the knots right.

I don't mind at all.

I'm going with SN. It has its faults but I'll be preparing and planning as much as I can to try to make sure it's final. Seems to have a pretty good success rate on this forum and it's the only one that's made me feel peaceful about CTBing

 

[CinerateX]

I don't mind at all.

I'm going with SN. It has its faults but I'll be preparing and planning as much as I can to try to make sure it's final. Seems to have a pretty good success rate on this forum and it's the only one that's made me feel peaceful about CTBing

Ah lucky! I was looking for some of that myself, and still am. I hope you can get some for yourself and wish you luck, friend. SN really does seem like a good way to go.

 

[drag201]

I always thought of deleting all my social media and other sorts of important accounts when I was sure I'd do it. I think that would be enough of a sign since nearly all of my friends, online and real life, know how I struggle(d) with mental illness. I also try my best to research so that there wont be any failed attempts that could lead me to become hospitalised or a vegetable. Research about the act itself and about the time and schedule so that I wouldnt be found. But then again there are things that could go wrong even with meticulous planning. I dont like to think about the possibility of waking up in a hospital since it just makes me feel very anxious about that being a possible outcome one day.

 

[CinerateX]

I always thought of deleting all my social media and other sorts of important accounts when I was sure I'd do it. I think that would be enough of a sign since nearly all of my friends, online and real life, know how I struggle(d) with mental illness. I also try my best to research so that there wont be any failed attempts that could lead me to become hospitalised or a vegetable. Research about the act itself and about the time and schedule so that I wouldnt be found. But then again there are things that could go wrong even with meticulous planning. I dont like to think about the possibility of waking up in a hospital since it just makes me feel very anxious about that being a possible outcome one day.

Ah, I hear you there, seems like a good idea. I'm super anxious about that too, like hitting rock bottom and being forced to go on. I need to do more research and stuff I think, you make a good point there.

 

[over2025]

I'd find doing all of that pointless. Basically everyone except for close family will largely forget about you after a few months. Someone might remember you once in a while, but that's about it.

 

[CinerateX]

I'd find doing all of that pointless. Basically everyone except for close family will largely forget about you after a few months. Someone might remember you once in a while, but that's about it.

Ah, that's fair. I guess anxiety gets the better of me mostly. But you're right, most people would forget.

 

[kitkat9234]

The fear of failure is one of the reason why I am still here. If I fail I'd be committed to a mental institute or become a vegetable and would lose my job and apartment and possibly custody of my daughter. I would be worse off than I already am if that is even possible. I need a fool proof plan that guarantees death which there's no such thing. So here I am trapped.

 

[CinerateX]

The fear of failure is one of the reason why I am still here. If I fail I'd be committed to a mental institute or become a vegetable and would lose my job and apartment and possibly custody of my daughter. I would be worse off than I already am if that is even possible. I need a fool proof plan that guarantees death which there's no such thing. So here I am trapped.

Ah, I hear you. Can only imagine the extra hell you're going through, I'm so sorry, friend. I hope you find your foolproof method, I hope we all do.

 

[kitkat9234]

Ah, I hear you. Can only imagine the extra hell you're going through, I'm so sorry, friend. I hope you find your foolproof method, I hope we all do.

Thank you. And I hope you do too