How do you get over the pain you will cause your loved ones when you ctb

[samoyedlover]

I am ready to ctb but the thought of the pain I will cause my familly is killing me. How do you get over this please i feel stuck and in so much pain.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

The moment I tried last time, I just thought they're better off without me. At no point did I think that they would be hurt. I don't know why, probably my own pain and need to get away was greater...

Right now though, that's one reason why I'm waiting, my kids wouldn't be able to handle it. I believe that others can get over grief easily if they feel it.

So I don't know, I don't have an answer for this I'm sorry.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I am ready to ctb but the thought of the pain I will cause my familly is killing me. How do you get over this please i feel stuck and in so much pain.

Unfortunately I don't think you can. I feel like if I were to do it, I'd have to do it with the knowledge that I will cause my family immense pain. It just ultimately comes down to the question if your pain outweighs that, and currently my pain doesn't, but that could change later and maybe my pain will outweigh it in which case, I will ctb

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I'm in the same situation - staying alive because I'm afraid of hurting my family. Sometimes I feel resentment towards them for not willingly letting me go so I can say goodbye properly. I know this will never happen, so I can only postpone it until I feel too bad to care about them anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find the relief from suffering you search for, I also find it painful to exist.

 

[Seered Doom]

I think to myself how much they've caused me while living and tell myself if they supposedly would be so sad if I left, why don't they show it while I'm alive?

 

[itsnigh]

I am ready to ctb but the thought of the pain I will cause my familly is killing me. How do you get over this please i feel stuck and in so much pain.

This is the only reason I've never left before, I completely feel you on it. It's going to be different for everyone in experience. My family love me and my partner does. I think I just more overwhelmingly can't do this anymore or be their burden in life. That's all I am. But that's completely personal to my situation. My best wishes to you from someone who understands this fear.

 

[L'absent]

Let us instead think about all the pain we have been through, the pain we are going through and the enormous pain we will go through when the curtain finally falls on our existence.

 

[TAW122]

I came to the conclusion that I'm alive against my will and never consented to exist to begin with (as with all living organisms that came to be) and that is the philosophical component. Then for the emotional and self interest component, it would be that it isn't fair nor ethical to put others' interests before mine, and then be trapped in existence for an indefinite amount of time (decades or so) just for the sake of keeping others' happy and comfortable. My interests and suffering against my will are just as (if not more) important than appealing to their morals and ethics. When I reach that point in time and circumstances are right, I will follow through and fuck having to suffer unnecessarily just so others' can feel comfort and not be upset, that is very unfair and unethical. I finally believe that one's (ultimate) bodily autonomy and such comes first, as long as they don't actively physically harm others' liberties (and I don't consider 'feelings hurt' to be real harm - because by that logic, no one should ever sever abusive relationships, quit abusive work contracts, unsubscribe from predatory business practices, etc., to which most people would find absurd).

 

[SufferingDev]

I don't really care about my family, I want my parents to suffer because is is their fault as well. As to my friends - I postponed my CTB for a while for them but each day I feel I am getting closer - and on that day, there won't be any regrets

 

[ghost-shock]

I dont have any loved ones, my parents were abusive. The people on here who have loved ones are lucky some of us never experienced love. I hope everything goes well for you.

 

[Dionysus]

I just logically deduced that with one person gone, they'll have to spent less money overall. Also no more wasting money on my education which doesn't work anyways. They also were the people who kind of pushed me towards this so I honestly don't feel too bad and don't think too much about it. I've philosophically and mentally committed suicide, now it's just the body that needs to go with it.