How do you get over the love of your life

[rabbit_feet]

I am so destroyed. Back in July, we agreed to take a break, work on ourselves, and revisit our relationship later. Now, 4 months later, she just told me that she doesn't think she'll ever love me again, it's time for me to get over it and move on. I'm so devastated. I've been trying to hold it together cause I thought that this was supposed to be temporary, that we would get back together and be happy again eventually.

What do I do? I am socially inept and only make friends through those I already have. She is practically the backbone of our friend circle. She asks me to move on but I can't even have the space to do so. I'm so heartbroken. I thought we were going to get married. I thought we were happy.
Everything just feels so heavy. I can't help but feel like I'll never feel happy again. I'll never love again. She was the perfect partner for me. Now we're nothing.

I feel like my grief is starting all over. I guess I never really accepted it was over. Now I have to. What's the point of continuing when life doesn't feel fulfilling without her.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

I feel you. We have a similar timeline as to what happened, except for me it was last year. July last year my love dropped the "I'm leaving" bomb on me. November last year my mind lost it, and I ended up here. I've never accepted it and fortunately, we both realised our mistakes just before we both left our country (December & January), but now we are separated by continents. The past year has been torture, but thankfully we still have contact.

I've had waves of different degrees of darkness and have my SN as I had every intention of using it along the way. Today I'm glad I didn't as timing was never right, and I wonder if the universe didn't make us go through this hell to find ourselves again and grow, hopefully together. He was depressed and suicidal before deciding to leave, and I am now. I didn't understand how he felt then, but now I do. Our situation is nearly impossible, but I'm still holding onto a thin thread of hope.

What I'm trying to say is that a lot can happen in a year, either way. I realise our situations are different, but I hope you can find a way to give it some time. I'm not saying time heals or makes things easier, it simply allows for future possibilities we may not see while we are completely destroyed by grief. I'm truly sorry for your pain and wish you only the best, there are no words to lift the heaviness, but know that you are not alone.

 

[Hollowman]

There is no point.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Just takes time and willingness to endure the pain until the chemical messengers creating those feelings of love within you subside.

 

[beyond.space]

hey, I've been meaning to make a similar post for a while now. I broke up with the person i always felt was the love of my life like 8 months ago. it was a 3-4 year relationship. it's the reason im here unfortunately, although not the main one, as i was always clinically depressed and quite a nihilist. it hasn't gotten better, in fact, it only got worse and worse. i always hear that it gets worse before its better, but i dont think that would be the case, as ive completely lost myself because of what she did to me. i found that the only way to rebuild is to let go of everything i used to hope for, which im not willing to do, since it was the only way i enjoyed this monstrosity that is human existence. so im here because of this conundrum, where i feel its better to just not exist at all then to become something i would absolutely hate. there's much to say upon my experiences, so, if you're willing, we could talk about it privately, as i would also love to hear about your experience and the way you're dealing with it.

 

[rabbit_feet]

Moving into the new year is so hard without her. Not only because getting through the holidays brought back so many memories from previous years but because it also really cements how long it's been since we parted ways.

I don't feel like I'm anything without her. I was so genuinely in love with her, I don't think I'll ever get over her. And because of that I think I'll be stuck in this miserable limbo forever.

 

[Forveleth]

At the risk of sounding super cliche, this is not the end of the world and you will get over her and you will love again. I am over 40, and have been through several breakups in my life, good, bad, and ugly. It really does hurt at first, and then is fine. Let yourself be sad and experience the grief, but it will get better with time.

Some things you can do to help the process is to not constantly check in on your ex. I know a lot of people start to follow their acts on social media, which just tends to keep the wounds raw. Do not do that. As with any form of grief or depression, having an idle mind also gives you time to sit and ruminate, keep yourself busy even if it is with merely a simple hobby.