Discussion How do you get over the fact that you are leaving your loved ones behind, if at all?

[HiddenCulmination]

I believe we all have the right to end our lives if we want to, but I struggle personally because doing so would inflict major harm and suffering on my loved ones. Is ending my suffering worth the suffering of others? I feel so guilty leaving them behind, but Im running out of will to live

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Currently I don't have a plan to CTB, but in my case, when I was really suicidal and was preparing it, I didn't care about my loved ones; my brain was filled with this inner voice, "Please God stop this torture!"

I might be a terrible person...

 

[HiddenCulmination]

Currently I don't have a plan to CTB, but in my case, when I was really suicidal and was preparing it, I didn't care about my loved ones; my brain was filled with this inner voice, "Please God stop this torture!"

I might be a terrible person...

I dont think you are a bad person. I think there are two kinds of suicidalness(?) where one is more prominent and the pain is really big where your only though is like what you said "end my torture". I think the other is where its slow pain over time but also tiredness of life and so you just want to exist.
Just because you didnt think about your loved ones doesnt mean your a bad person, you were just hurting and sometimes thats all we can think of

 

[DreamEnd]

Sometimes the pain of living overcomes the thoughts of loved ones. At least how that's for me.

 

[HiddenCulmination]

Sometimes the pain of living overcomes the thoughts of loved ones. At least how that's for me.

Yeah that makes sense. Where I stand now though, I dont know if I can bring myself to end my suffering it causes so much suffering to others

 

[Georg]

No one cares about me. I wouldn't ctb if I had "loved ones"

 

[Vizzy]

I believe we all have the right to end our lives if we want to, but I struggle personally because doing so would inflict major harm and suffering on my loved ones. Is ending my suffering worth the suffering of others? I feel so guilty leaving them behind, but Im running out of will to live

I don't have to get over anything because I don't love them in the first place!

 

[loopdaloop]

They'll be better off after I ctb, I don't worry about this because I'm inflicting more harm being alive than dead. The living are those that cause the most harm, not the dead..

 

[Woelki]

I think it's much more selfish to keep someone alive at all (the sufferer's) cost because of temporary discomfort. We never had a say on whether we wanted to be born, now it's their turn to be out of control. Isn't it a good opportunity for them to try their own "lol just be happy" advices they always throw at our heads?
Well, unless you are a parent. Procreation is an unforgivable cardinal sin, take responsibility for the poor souls you forced into this hellhole.

 

[FuneralCry]

The fact is that none of us are obligated to continue existing here, as after all existence was an unnecessary burden so cruelly forced onto us. If people don't wish to deal with loss then they shouldn't so selfishly bring life here into the first place. And anyway we all have to die and lose everything someday, grief and loss are just inevitable as long as one exists here.

Whatever happens after we have left this world could never be our concern anyway as we simply won't be there at that point, once we are gone this existence won't even be a distant memory, everything will be forgotten about for us and anyway I bet that most of us eventually won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here. Our existences are insignifcant and so impermanent after all, and staying here is only delaying the inevitable. So even if other people would be upset by someone choosing to leave, suicide is a decision in which people have every right to make, it's a personal decision deciding when to leave.

 

[peaceindeath]

When I'm kind of stable, I think about my loved ones. Want to be strong for them. When its really bad, I just want to lose consciousness and be gone.

 

[AresCohere]

My family would probably be happy inside tbh. Less college stuff to pay off, less to care about, and just knowing that I have the genes of my extended family, an extended family full of terrible people, means there is a high chance I will also be terrible if I get older.

My death would be a net-positive for everyone involved.

 

[sulli]

that's why i cleverly have no loved ones

 

[just_so_done]

For so long I stayed alive and fought to get better because I didn't want to hurt my loved ones but I was always hanging on to that resentment and anger that I had to live this horrible existence so as not to cause them harm. While they still come to my mind, when things started getting really bad with my suicidal thoughts they were less of an obstacle. Like i still feel awful how this will effect them but I'm tired of fighting to just merely exist and after trying so many things to get better that only failed time after time, I know i can't keep doing this for others. It's almost time for me to find peace and calmness that I've never gotten to experience and just hope that it wont hurt them too badly.

 

[OceanBlue]

If you don't have children, then you're not obligated to stay for anyone. If you continue to live, you can still die or see them die in more awful ways. "Living" is a risk, not a guarantee.

If you're some kind of AN activist and running a YT channel or FB group, then we selfishly and desperately need you to continue.

Sorry you ended up in this hellscape.

 

[thegolden]

I'm a college student and the reason I'm considering suicide is because of my poor performance academically. My family has been very supportive but so far nothing has helped me improve. I think it's because I haven't tried hard enough. I just finished the second semester of my second year in college and soon enough my parents will know the outcome. I have planned to CTB before this happens. I believe that it would be beyond fair to spend the rest of eternity in hell(if there is one) for the amount of pain I will bring to my family if I CTB. They haven't don't anything wrong to deserve any of it.

 

[Tired_only]

Loved ones??? Hahaha i wish

 

[Little_Suzy]

That is a difficult question to answer because even if you died in a non-ctb accident tomorrow, you would still be gone and they would suffer.

Make amends as discreetly as possible while you're still with them, and then write a fabulous farewell letter.

 

[Meatshell]

My answer is rather specific to my situation and may not resonate with you, but hopefully it's gonna give you another perspective you haven't thought of.

My answer is: A combination of being an antinatalist (I believe that bringing a life into this world is morally wrong) and the personality type of INTJ.

Because of the former, I've been holding a grudge against my own parents for not getting my consent before deciding to have me (duh). I can't help it. They forced me into this world. Literally - the doctor had to use a vacuum extraction as I didn't want out. It didn't get any better... The suicidal thoughts started when I was as young as 6 or 7 years old, so I've always known that I didn't wanna be here. Now I know who to blame.

My dad passed away 3 years ago, but my mom is still alive and I've recently cut her out of my life (long story). She's been trying to force herself back in with tears in her eyes but I just ignore her. I don't even look at her. Not wasting a single drop of my energy. Too exhausted. I remains myself that she's brought it on herself. SHE chose to have me. In other words, to me she's the bad guy here, so there's no reason for me to feel guilty.

Thanks to the latter, it's pretty easy for me to turn off that thing called "emotions." To hold my ground no matter how emotional the other person gets. To choose logic. I've cut out a lot of toxic people, there's honestly barely anyone left. Those who are still around... I just don't care, honestly. They're part of the problem.

I miss my dad. It hurts a lot. It hurts even more that I'm the one who found him. So I know how it feels to lose someone you love. But I am happy for him. I think about all the shit he longer needs to handle, all the things he used to do... He's free now. Now I'm more sad for myself... I'm the one who's still here.

They say "he's in the better place now" and "rest in peace" for a reason. Your loved ones will know and be comforted by that.