![goodoldnoname923](/data/avatars/l/90/90975.jpg?1717780544)
goodoldnoname923
Wanting to find peace
- Mar 28, 2024
- 835
I know I can't go on,i know i don't want to go on,i know its not fair for me to go on,I know i will never find true happiness,i know i will continue to hurt people,i know I'm incapable of meaningful change
I have a method that will work and won't fail badly…but it seems the only way i can take action is if its emotionally driven,i can say from the moment i wake up in the morning "i want to die" but by the time i get to the evening I'm basically willing myself too not because i want to live but i need to die and can't find the strength
How do i come to peace with dying? How do I convince myself its ok…i have everyone around me screaming at me not to die…even people i've met from here that seems to only increase my apprehension yet all my circumstances and situations are the same
People say their is a solution and keep convincing me there is but there isn't,i know my own life,mind and needs more than anyone…I can't make people understand i can try but ultimately I can't
Do i need someone to egg me on…not exactly i feel pushing me to do it isn't much different than what i'm doing to myself…all i can think of is triggering those emotions inside of me that make me feel that way…but again that's not easy either
I know i need to do this…and i don't think it's about "readiness" but something else i can't quite put my finger on…and I'm desperately trying to
I have a method that will work and won't fail badly…but it seems the only way i can take action is if its emotionally driven,i can say from the moment i wake up in the morning "i want to die" but by the time i get to the evening I'm basically willing myself too not because i want to live but i need to die and can't find the strength
How do i come to peace with dying? How do I convince myself its ok…i have everyone around me screaming at me not to die…even people i've met from here that seems to only increase my apprehension yet all my circumstances and situations are the same
People say their is a solution and keep convincing me there is but there isn't,i know my own life,mind and needs more than anyone…I can't make people understand i can try but ultimately I can't
Do i need someone to egg me on…not exactly i feel pushing me to do it isn't much different than what i'm doing to myself…all i can think of is triggering those emotions inside of me that make me feel that way…but again that's not easy either
I know i need to do this…and i don't think it's about "readiness" but something else i can't quite put my finger on…and I'm desperately trying to