• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
issyishere

issyishere

Goodnight and always remember that’s life
Nov 5, 2019
441
For me, I wake up with a sense of dread knowing I have to deal with day and myself. What about you guys?
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: TooMuchToBear, lobster salad, Spiral and 20 others
Good4Nothing

Good4Nothing

Unlovable
May 8, 2020
1,864
Time to make the donuts...
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: lobster salad, Trannydiary, profoundexperience and 7 others
it'sokaytowishtodie

it'sokaytowishtodie

Member
Dec 1, 2020
6
I mostly just hope I can fall asleep again.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: GreenTree, Trannydiary, SadRat and 12 others
Murasa

Murasa

"The Great Little Captain"
Dec 3, 2020
1,750
"Get up and get this over with, the sooner you're done with this the faster you can return to your dreams, your only refuge".
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Trannydiary, sufferingalways, catsby and 7 others
R

RepressedMind

Miss the full ability to think
Apr 24, 2020
160
I usually feel very tired when I wake up.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Trannydiary, sufferingalways, Niirvana and 2 others
KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,797
In pain, usually starts in my fingers and works it's way down. Love neuropathy. Always sick and nauseous too.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
  • Like
Reactions: SolSideUp, Spiral, Trannydiary and 10 others
shijsrzh

shijsrzh

Deluded Moron
Dec 2, 2020
99
I get up and jump with joy :). No, seriously. I wake up and am so depressed that I can't move for half an hour. Anyone else get the "depression paralysis"?
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: Spiral, Isisnefert, Trannydiary and 11 others
M

mikenoir

To cheer upon death: to see life as more beautiful
Nov 3, 2020
119
Usually, in moment that you still have your eyes closed but are starting to wake up, is when you realize how bad it is.
 
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: Isisnefert, Bazzinga, Trannydiary and 11 others
W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
I feel like "Oh, still alive I guess..."
 
  • Like
Reactions: GreenTree, Isisnefert, Trannydiary and 9 others
shijsrzh

shijsrzh

Deluded Moron
Dec 2, 2020
99
Usually, in moment that you still have your eyes closed but are starting to wake up, is when you realize how bad it is.

Exactly, couldn't have put that better myself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Trannydiary, Leiden, ineverlearn and 1 other person
MindFog

MindFog

:Professional Hypocrite:
Nov 19, 2020
731
Disappointed, cause I didnt die in my sleep.
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: GreenTree, Spiral, Bazzinga and 17 others
fixitinpost

fixitinpost

Arriving Somewhere But Not Here
Oct 20, 2020
161
Every morning I wake with thoughts of my ex-domestic partner and the guy she left me for, like I have for the past five months. It's not great. Usually I cry or feel this intense anger directed at myself. You know, the kind that feels like your innards are burning. But I can't get up. So I just lie there, sometimes composing the umpteenth goodbye note before everything finally subsides and I can try go about my day.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: Trannydiary, SpinTop555, LooksAtMoonDog and 8 others
H

Heart Shards

The shards of my broken heart cut deep.
Feb 3, 2019
535
Sad that I did.
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: newave3, Trannydiary, SpinTop555 and 9 others
Eatyourveggies12

Eatyourveggies12

Member
Nov 17, 2020
9
Existential dread plus suicidal.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: TooMuchToBear, Isisnefert, Trannydiary and 5 others
Arrow

Arrow

Rewrite
May 1, 2020
768
I get up and jump with joy :). No, seriously. I wake up and am so depressed that I can't move for half an hour. Anyone else get the "depression paralysis"?
i know that feel! i also feel intense dread and fear when i wake up, a really heavy feeling in my chest. i wonder how many more mornings i'll be able to carry on?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Isisnefert, Trannydiary and Leiden
awfullife

awfullife

Arcanist
Nov 16, 2019
435
Mondays are the worst...drag myself to shower for only bathing for the week. ctb Thoughts omnipresent during shower. Then drive to work realizing how worthless and insignificant I am.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: Isisnefert, Trannydiary, Outsider and 6 others
shijsrzh

shijsrzh

Deluded Moron
Dec 2, 2020
99
i know that feel! i also feel intense dread and fear when i wake up, a really heavy feeling in my chest. i wonder how many more mornings i'll be able to carry on?

I feel exactly the same. Sometimes it feels like I could get a heart attack any time soon. And I wonder wonder how much longer my body can handle that stress (from the anxiety). Would be nice though (heart attack). I wouldn't have to kill myself then.
I wake up with fear, too. As soon as I awake, my heart starts pounding with fear.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Isisnefert, Trannydiary, OpheliasFlowers and 1 other person
http-410

http-410

nowhere
Sep 12, 2020
1,063
Like trapped in a dream, as always.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Trannydiary, profoundexperience, Zenpurrz and 3 others
ineverlearn

ineverlearn

Member
Dec 1, 2020
52
Man, I resonate with most of the comments so far. The dread, paralysis (can last hours on end), hoping to fall back asleep, the weight on my chest... That split second of uncertainty of whether my dreams are the reality and my life is just the nightmare. Then realizing that the nightmare is still the reality.
Every morning I wake with thoughts of my ex-domestic partner and the guy she left me for, like I have for the past five months. It's not great. Usually I cry or feel this intense anger directed at myself. You know, the kind that feels like your innards are burning. But I can't get up. So I just lie there, sometimes composing the umpteenth goodbye note before everything finally subsides and I can try go about my day.

I understand so deeply...
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Isisnefert, Trannydiary, WearyWanderer and 5 others
U

umbrellaphone

Member
Nov 24, 2020
52
Disappointed because the angel of death didn't pick me up last night. Not that I've done anything to invite them, but hey, one can dream.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Trannydiary, hearthewind, SpinTop555 and 6 others
Swimbike

Swimbike

Member
Sep 14, 2020
15
Empty.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Trannydiary, Niirvana, SpinTop555 and 5 others
Cant Maintain

Cant Maintain

Garbage Fire
Aug 21, 2020
147
"Fuck" then smoke about it
 
  • Like
Reactions: Trannydiary, lobster salad and justanotherstar
Donk

Donk

Useless since day 1
Jan 3, 2020
1,128
here we go again
 
  • Like
Reactions: Trannydiary, newave3 and mirko
E

enter.the.void

Member
Jul 14, 2020
23
For me, I wake up with a sende of dread knowing I have to deal with day and myself. What about you guys?

Same. Every morning when i get up - or rather the afternoon, because my internal clock is pretty fucked up now - i'm asking myself why i'm still alive. I dont work anymore due to the mandatory muzzle wearing at my work place and also because most of my coworkers are docile normies and NPCs anyways .
 
NekoNomNom

NekoNomNom

There is no right to heal the wrong
May 3, 2020
248
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Spiral, Trannydiary, demuic and 10 others
rabbithole

rabbithole

Experienced
Oct 26, 2020
271
Full of true dread.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Trannydiary, SpinTop555, newave3 and 1 other person
justanotherstar

justanotherstar

Life: you can’t fire me, I quit.
Nov 23, 2020
345
Ahh fuck...

yeah I dont get much further than that. I have the displeasure of suffering from chronic insomnia so an average night doesn't entail more than 90 minutes sleep, sometimes less and sometimes none. It's like for every day that everyone else has to live, I have to live two, it's exhausting, and unfair and it makes Waking up feel like I'm being tortured by the gods.
I definitely relate to a lot of what people have said here
 
  • Aww..
  • Like
Reactions: Isisnefert, Trannydiary, sufferingalways and 4 others
MrBlue

MrBlue

Arcanist
Jul 1, 2020
416
Disappointed my dreams have ended and I'm not dead. Though I don't actually have a reason to get up atm so tend to fuck it and fall right back to sleep again.

Grandpa simp
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Aww..
Reactions: Spiral, Trannydiary, issyishere and 3 others
newave3

newave3

I want out
Nov 21, 2020
2,802
Why why why
I can't face another day
 
  • Like
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
Reactions: Isisnefert, stygal, Trannydiary and 4 others
S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,099
*hits SNOOZE for another 9 minutes*
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Trannydiary, LunarPyotr, Midnight-rain and 5 others

Similar threads

Tarnished_anachrom
Replies
8
Views
391
Suicide Discussion
BoredNTired.2
BoredNTired.2
Darkover
Replies
9
Views
319
Suicide Discussion
NearlyIrrelevantCake
NearlyIrrelevantCake
SomewhatLoved
Replies
0
Views
110
Suicide Discussion
SomewhatLoved
SomewhatLoved
Sbetto
Replies
4
Views
148
Suicide Discussion
onlyformyself
O