Discussion how do you deal with loneliness?

[iloveyouihateyou]

as the title says. for context recently my 3 year relationship ended and it has opened my eyes to how lonely i really am. no place to share my real feelings other than this website (i'm grateful) and spending entire days hearing from nobody, and when i do speak to others it's always about something small nothing related to how i'm actually feeling. i try to bring up the topic of my feelings but i've had alot of terrible experiences in the past regarding opening up to others trying to find help, it always ends with me feeling even more isolated and i feel like i don't want to risk my sanity trying again… understandably for most people nobody wants to listen to a guy cry about their ex while also mentioning how they want to die every single minute so i don't blame anyone i guess but anyways…

how do you cope with the pain of feeling lonely all day? i've been stuck in bed sleeping and when i wake up i eat and just stay on my phone trying to pass the time… in this situation i would normally get high to cope but i have nothing in my house and i don't have any money to anything (boohoo)

it's honestly fucking me up because i'm looking for different ways to cope and it's had me thinking of cutting myself for the first time or stealing air duster from walmart (like a true degenerate) but i don't want to go down that route i know it'll only get worse when i start to rely on these things… so yeah if anyone could give me some advice on how they get through the day in sobriety it would help me so much.

if you're reading this thank you for taking the time to and i hope you have a nice day today :D

 

[StupidCat]

I don't chat with anyone and haven't keep contact with anyone irl either. It does feel lonely indeed but I live close by to family so I check them out sometimes. I also take care of chickens and my cat. They lighten my day.

 

[river_birch]

I'm sorry to hear about the relationship. Break ups make me raw, too...

So, I've been where you are at very many times. Most recently it was after an 8 year break up... Sometimes I sign up for Bumble and meet people who are lonley, too. I look for people who share my hobbies and who want/need to talk…

You don't want to overshare, but try to build something real and honest with someone new... Often you'll find the other person needs you in the same way that you need them.

Go into the new friendship/relationship knowing that the situation may not be permanent, and be upfront and honest with the person—they should know what you know... If you want to have sex and thats it, they need to know upfront that is whats going on. A lot of times, people are open to that kind of thing so long as you are direct and honest… If sex isn't what you need right now, people feel the same way about needing a good conversation or needing someone to check in on them… Just be honest about what you need.


Sorry again about the breakup, and you'll pull out of this just fine. Just keep making connections with people however you can and keep learning. It will get better :)

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

I don't chat with anyone and haven't keep contact with anyone irl either. It does feel lonely indeed but I live close by to family so I check them out sometimes. I also take care of chickens and my cat. They lighten my day.

yeah i live with my family and i have 2 younger siblings that i try to spend alot of time with, i always keep a bright smile for them cause it would be fucked up to dump all this pain on them, they do make me happy for a bit though. i wish i had a pet to take care of still, last time i was feeling this way i would take care of my hamsters but they unfortunately passed away a long time ago now as small animals do. thank you for sharing your experience and say hi to your chickens and cats for me :D

Sorry again about the breakup, and you'll pull out of this just fine. Just keep making connections with people however you can and keep learning. It will get better :)

wow 8 year breakup, i'm so sorry to hear that, you should be proud of yourself for getting through that because respectfully i think i would not be able to survive in that situation lol.. i've been debating signing up for dating apps again as i met my ex on one of them. i know i could definitely meet people but i still feel so hung up on my ex… but i've never thought of trying to meet other lonely people on said apps to try to make connections. maybe i'll give that a try sometime but honestly i have 0 good photos of myself right now so i wonder if anyone would be willing to talk or meet with me. i appreciate your advice about being honest with these people i may meet like you're right i definitely could run into someone in the same situation and maybe it would be good. i'll have to think about it though. i really appreciate the advice and i hope life treats you well :D

 

[catfriend]

sorry to hear about your breakup... they always suck.

my coping mechanisms comprise solely digital distractions, these days -- reddit, youtube, and so forth. i've abandoned my relationships with family and friends in preparation for my ctb in a couple of weeks. periodically, the pain of isolation will 'bubble over' and i'll cry for awhile. it's not ideal, but i won't have to deal with it for much longer.

i hope you'll find healthy ways of coping that don't involve cutting or huffing air dusters, friend. :)

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

sorry to hear about your breakup... they always suck.

my coping mechanisms comprise solely digital distractions, these days -- reddit, youtube, and so forth. i've abandoned my relationships with family and friends in preparation for my ctb in a couple of weeks. periodically, the pain of isolation will 'bubble over' and i'll cry for awhile. it's not ideal, but i won't have to deal with it for much longer.

i hope you'll find healthy ways of coping that don't involve cutting or huffing air dusters, friend. :)

yeah they really do suck so much, it feels like my body and mind don't work anymore. they say love is like a drug or is one and it really does feel like that with the way my body feels in the withdrawal of it. it seems like the main way to cope for most people is digital distractions and i'm no stranger to it but damn sometimes i break free from the trance of my screen and wonder if there's anything more to life than just this yknow. although in this state of the world maybe there isn't lol. i hope you will be able to find peace through ctb and for the time while you're still here i hope you are able to enjoy yourself in some way. thank you so much for sharing your experience, i really appreciate it. i hope i can find ways to help cope with all of this sadness… i wish i could ctb aswell but i'm just too afraid and unsure of it right now, i'm sure you get what i mean though. honestly the air duster cans are looking mighty fine can't even lie lolz

 

[Griever]

Loneliness is one of the worst feelings for me

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

Loneliness is one of the worst feelings for me

i totally feel you on that one, i'm always trying to escape the feeling by either constantly having someone to speak to or by drowning out the hurting by getting high or sleeping all day. i wish it was easier to get over this feeling but it always comes back. thank you for your response and i hope you can feel better at some point

 

[brokeandbroken]

as the title says. for context recently my 3 year relationship ended and it has opened my eyes to how lonely i really am. no place to share my real feelings other than this website (i'm grateful) and spending entire days hearing from nobody, and when i do speak to others it's always about something small nothing related to how i'm actually feeling. i try to bring up the topic of my feelings but i've had alot of terrible experiences in the past regarding opening up to others trying to find help, it always ends with me feeling even more isolated and i feel like i don't want to risk my sanity trying again… understandably for most people nobody wants to listen to a guy cry about their ex while also mentioning how they want to die every single minute so i don't blame anyone i guess but anyways…

how do you cope with the pain of feeling lonely all day? i've been stuck in bed sleeping and when i wake up i eat and just stay on my phone trying to pass the time… in this situation i would normally get high to cope but i have nothing in my house and i don't have any money to anything (boohoo)

it's honestly fucking me up because i'm looking for different ways to cope and it's had me thinking of cutting myself for the first time or stealing air duster from walmart (like a true degenerate) but i don't want to go down that route i know it'll only get worse when i start to rely on these things… so yeah if anyone could give me some advice on how they get through the day in sobriety it would help me so much.

if you're reading this thank you for taking the time to and i hope you have a nice day today :D

Im not sure how much this will help. But I deal with loneliness and boredom of life by working out. And then being basically a professional time killer as theres just nothing for me to do.

In terms of drugs. If I went on anything theres not a single person I care about enough to stop for. Hell there isnt really anyone who cares enough to care if i was on them in the first place. And God knows I wouldn't stop for me at that point. Basically I dont do them because I know I couldn't get off and honestly i dont think someone would be able to give me a reason to get off or give me a reason to.

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

Im not sure how much this will help. But I deal with loneliness and boredom of life by working out. And then being basically a professional time killer as theres just nothing for me to do.

In terms of drugs. If I went on anything theres not a single person I care about enough to stop for. Hell there isnt really anyone who cares enough to care if i was on them in the first place. And God knows I wouldn't stop for me at that point. Basically I dont do them because I know I couldn't get off and honestly i dont think someone would be able to give me a reason to get off or give me a reason to.

i hear you on that one like honestly i would love to go to the gym or even start doing light exercise in my home but i'm really so out of it that i know i wouldn't be able to consistently keep it up. i can't even keep my room clean right now :/ it certainly would be a good way to fill the time with something productive though.

and i get you completely, your reasons are very valid cause me personally i don't think i can stop not at this state of my life and i don't even want to. even the idea of death isn't a good enough reason to stop me so it's good that you've thought about it and choose not to start cause your reasons are very accurate. i really appreciate the response, i'll definitely remember to remember that working out could be an option for me :D

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

For me, this forum has unexpectedly become a way I cope with loneliness. It's the only place I've experienced where people say what they mean and see life very clearly. I just drag myself through life, I don't have a solution. I hope the pain of the breakup diminishes over time but we all know it never completely goes away.

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

For me, this forum has unexpectedly become a way I cope with loneliness. It's the only place I've experienced where people say what they mean and see life very clearly. I just drag myself through life, I don't have a solution. I hope the pain of the breakup diminishes over time but we all know it never completely goes away.

i feel you on that one, at my lowest points (like this one) this forum has been my last hope for interacting with people when my mind's all fucked up. i really enjoy what people share it's alot of thoughtful discussion aswell as sympathy and support that i really do not find anywhere else on the internet or in real life. it's okay not to have the solution, we're all just trying to get by in our own ways i'm sure. and yeah you're right about that the pain of a breakup really never does truly leave, i always find myself reminiscing my exes cause of the connection we once had, all the time spent and words exchanged…. oh i must stop myself before i get into the feels :') thank you for the response i really appreciate it :D

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

For me, this forum has unexpectedly become a way I cope with loneliness. It's the only place I've experienced where people say what they mean and see life very clearly. I just drag myself through life, I don't have a solution. I hope the pain of the breakup diminishes over time but we all know it never completely goes away.

It's the only place I've experienced where people say what they mean and see life very clearly.

i agree. and most people here are 18-25. those here see the reality of life better than in the general population.

 

[Endlichkeit]

I don't have to deal with it because I prefer it

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I'm sorry your dealing with this. I know loneliness oh too well. I try not to think about it but I get more bored than anything. I have so much in my head it seems to keep be occupied at times ...

Hope you can overcome this

 

[brokeandbroken]

i hear you on that one like honestly i would love to go to the gym or even start doing light exercise in my home but i'm really so out of it that i know i wouldn't be able to consistently keep it up. i can't even keep my room clean right now :/ it certainly would be a good way to fill the time with something productive though.

and i get you completely, your reasons are very valid cause me personally i don't think i can stop not at this state of my life and i don't even want to. even the idea of death isn't a good enough reason to stop me so it's good that you've thought about it and choose not to start cause your reasons are very accurate. i really appreciate the response, i'll definitely remember to remember that working out could be an option for me :D

Im sorry to hear that. Want to talk about things let me know. If you give a try hope it helps.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I try not to think about it. Some days I'm successful, some days I'm not.

 

[imgonesoondontworry]

daydreaming has helped me cope for years. i've developed insanely complex storylines and characters all in my head to keep my mind off reality

 

[Somnius]

I cope by going on forums like this one. It is my only form of social interaction besides my parents.

 

[Daxter777]

Reddit, roomates and when im truly alone with no one in the house for the day benzos.

 

[Thomas599]

I have learned to accept loneliness. Like a quiet ache that is always there in the background of everything that I do. Some times others around me will catch me in a lone moment of emptiness, I don't know how they see it in me, but I'm told that at times, the ache is undeniable in me and others can see it. Of course, I play it off as nothing.

 

[SomeBody123]

Maladaptive daydreaming, but even then, sometimes there's a crash where reality seeps in. :( Other times I watch a lot of YouTube so that my mind doesn't have to consciously think about myself or reality.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I had a very hard time at the beginning after ALL of my family died. Since I have no friends I found myself alone for the first time in my life. Now, I've reached a point of "numbness" I guess I would describe it as. Ofc, I'm still lonely, but the intense hurting has subsided and, like I said, now I'm just numb. I guess I'm resigned to being lonely, but not so resigned that I plan to live out the rest of my days this way. I won't. Frankly, I can't. I deal with it (for now) by doing the stuff to get my affairs in order, watching tv, and hanging out here on SaSu. That's really all I have. It's not enough to make one thrive in life, though, but knowing it's only for short term, I make the best of it as I can. For now. For a little while longer. There's really no dealing with loneliness. All you can do is tolerate it as best you can, for as long as you can. Eventually, it's going to kill you one way or another.

 

[yxmux]

minecraft

 

[spoonfed]

sorry to hear about your breakup... they always suck.

my coping mechanisms comprise solely digital distractions, these days -- reddit, youtube, and so forth. i've abandoned my relationships with family and friends in preparation for my ctb in a couple of weeks. periodically, the pain of isolation will 'bubble over' and i'll cry for awhile. it's not ideal, but i won't have to deal with it for much longer.

i hope you'll find healthy ways of coping that don't involve cutting or huffing air dusters, friend. :)

So me :(

 

[NonEssential]

Video games, youtube videos, adult content, this forum.

Loneliness for me reinforces my low self-esteem as it confirms that I don't have any value needed to be a partner or a friend.

 

[gottacheckout]

I lost my brother and then my step brother. Next up was my step sister who went 3 days before my dad. Last was my mom. Divorce followed a couple years later. The only things holding me here is my dog and two cats. Not talking to another person for days on end is weird so I talk to my pets. I also interact some with people online but that is off and on and I tend to keep a distance.

 

[darksouls]

since the death of my female dog in 2020 I feel lonely
it is getting worse over time
that is why I am thankful to be on sasu

 

[6138]

This is a good question.

I am the loneliest human being on earth.

I am completely incapable of relating to other people at all, and as I've gotten older, it's only gotten worse.

It's the main reason for me wanting to commit suicide.

I deal with it by distracting myself. Working mostly, but also playing games, working out, writing, anything to try to keep my mind off of how miserable I am.

Lately, AI has helped. It gives the illusion of a person to talk to, even if it's not real. And it can't reject you.

 

[quins]

I've been alone my entire life. I'm old now, and when I retrace the course of my life I feel older still. I've always been skeptical of "forced exchanges", exchanges in which you're only communicating with others to try to stay afloat, to share in the same dark wastes that others do. In this sense I've never felt the need to go out and hobnob with people who are likely repulsed by me, people who have been prosocial their entire lives and operate on the shared illusion of joy or shared circumstance which drives people to clique'y preferencing and the usual skulduggery.
I find that small interactions, drinking at the pub (one of my more memorable experiences came from shaving some foam from a pint with a haircomb, a small comment from one guy who was caterwauling behind me led to a decentish conversation which made me rethink some past decisions, yes that's the extent of my social interaction in my later years)--it allows me to feel "human" for a bit, which was probably enough at first to stop me from doing anything rash while people still cared for me. But that's over now. I wish I could give better advice, but there isn't much to say when you aren't committed to anything in particular, or if suicide's preponderance shadows the possibility of living a decent life.