How do you deal with feeling like a massive burden to people around you?

[volnaya_pesnya]

I live at home. I feel like a real burden on my mother (I was an accident to begin with), have zero friends. I honestly feel like I'm either invisible to 99% of people and just a massive fucking inconvenience to the remaining percent. I don't even consider myself to be a good person, morally speaking, so I can totally understand why the people that do know me tend to not really care to interact with me more than absolutely necessary. Anybody else feeling like this, how do you cope? Should I start on antidepressants or something?

 

[MeltedJello]

I feel the same way somedays. I'm a NEET, and feel like a burden on my parents as well. What I usually do to cope is by thinking that I will no longer be a burden once I ctb (don't copy me, if you're on a path of recovery). I also do little things like washing dishes and laundry without them asking. It's not much, but doing little things for people is what helps me.

I'm sorry you feel this way. I know my words can't really help you, but I do wish you peace, and hopefully better days :)

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Perhaps you could do something nice for her, even if it is a small action. If you have the time, try to push yourself to do a favor such as taking on a simple task she usually has to do herself for example.

 

[CFLoser]

At some point it just becomes a number game.

You've had a bad train of thought so long you just have to figure out a way (there are multiple) to constantly remind yourself that you AREN'T a massive burden and infact the opposite. You have to fully believe it and understand why you aren't a burden though.

 

[Shadowplay]

Disappointment but not burden.

 

[sartre_camus_love]

I live on my own with my husband, I'm about to get a substantial raise at a new job, and I have a small group of friends I chat with daily that tell me they love me, and I STILL feel like I'm a burden. I still have that thought passing through my mind, especially when I leave people, especially when I'm in a depressive episode (I'm bipolar so it cycles). I'm not saying this to brag, I'm saying to to show you that FEELING like a burden doesn't mean you ARE a burden. It's a symptom in the DSM. The people who support, and help you do it because they love you unconditionally. Try to trust that, and focus on your healing. You don't seem to have a lot of nice things to say about yourself, what would shift that for you? I used to have to start with neutral statements, when the thought that I'm a burden arises I say "no" "I am okay" "my family loves me" It felt super awkward at first but got easier.

 

[stellabelle]

Yeah, I'm pretty much a burden or useless even when I've said all I can say or done all I could do. I just don't care at this point. Nobody else did. So be it. Oh well.

Well, oh well.

It's fine for him to drag you back and abuse you more. It's fine for us to throw you out of house, home, work, school, pretend to give a shit, and then lie and lie and lie and lie. Too bad.

Fuck law enforcement. Fuck psych wards. Fuck landlords. Fuck men. Fuck women. Fuck life.

It's cool, we just rip your keys away from you, your livelihood, your motorcycle, your choices, and tell you, oh too bad, the bitch doesn't love you. The bitch doesn't love you. The bitch lied and the state kicked dirt in your face.
We gave the cunt your stuff.
Just to piss you off.
Well. You don't get to be happy.
Well, you don't get a better job.
Well, you don't get your four degrees or a living wage.
Well, you don't get to be happy.

Oh, is she trying to leave me again? I'm going to call the guy and threaten him. And her classmates. And keep stalking her and dragging her back because I'm going to rape a baby into her and force her to keep it. I'm going to keep forcing her to have unwanted sex with me and continue forcing her to lay on her back while I demand to lick her fucking period, fuck her anyway, and keep fucking her and say, well, I'm Matt herrman and that's how I treat women or roommates or people in general and I just stomp on her all day long and rip her phone away and stare at her and pretend I love her. I love hurting her and I love forcing my fingers into her vagina and holding her down and ruining her life. And her mother loves it.

Oh, did you overdose again trying to get away from them?
Yep.
Oh, did you try to get over it and move along?
Let's break her again and again and again.
Well, oh well.
Fuck you too.

Well it's over now.
Yeah, and it's still tormenting you, isn't it?
I don't love myself
I tried
And the bitch screamed in my face and yanked my hair and blamed me for everything.
The schools failed me, the police betrayed me, the system fucked me, and then they said open your legs and you'll definitely get somewhere with that…

Oh, well my pweshus doggggeee is more important than you or your baby.
Oh well, I don't care if you're upset, I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, I want to sit here with my pweehus DOGGEE on my dick and ignore you.

Oh you wanted a job, like joining the military so you never have to see those people again? No, we won't let you. We don't care about you. It's more fun to torture and torment you and hurt you and continue sexually abusing you and trafficking you in circles and robbing you and telling you too bad. I need someone to abuse. I need someone to stick my dick in. Gimme gimme gimme your wallet, gimme gimme gimme your social security card, gimme gimme gimme your phone, gimme gimme gimme everything so I can bury you in it and say hahahahahahahahahahahaha, you're not fucking worth anything, oh, you have a uterus? Let's fuck you again even though you don't like us.
Let's whisper and humiliate you again.
Oh, well, I thought you were working and getting someplace in life. Well I thought your life was great.
Well. You could be just like us but we're just so much better at hurting you. Go hurt yourself. Kill yourself. Just kill yourself casey. Just kill yourself already.

 

[meetapple]

Antidepressants might help if you feel like you are wasting time due to depression and rumination. I think helping with chores is a good idea also. I live at home and I am probably much older than you.

If you can get a job perhaps you can move out. So anything you can do in that direction would be beneficial.

 

[Sherri]

I also felt like a burden and I learned a lesson, the people that say I am always here for you, are the ones that first ignore you when you start opening up about your problems. I blocked many friends, even childhood friends because of that, they would tell me oh I do ghosting, I had no idea of that term mean until I went to google, and it said ghosting is people who read your messages and don't reply. Call me old fashion but for me that's just plain rudeness. So one by one I started to get them out of my life, and now I know who I can open to about my depression. Not many, but the fact that they never ignore me means a lot, you are not a burden. If your loved ones care for you then you are not one. try not to be so hard on yourself, you are not a burden. A big hug

 

[whatevs]

Self-loathing seems to be a recurring theme in the forum. To an extent, it seems exaggerated. But I am not sure. Perhaps there are people that have survived what would have succumbed to something in the past and now through the advances in technique are kept alive when they weren't meant to.

Although you always hear and read about people that turn this around and stop feeling sorry for themselves, so it might be possible.