How do you cope when the emotional pain is so bad you want to CTB *right now* but you can't?

[Tombs_in_your_eyes]

Every day since my favorite person's terminal diagnosis is worse than the one before. I am in completely unbearable emotional pain. I feel like I'm in a vat of water that's slowly being brought to the boil. There are only so many hours in the day that you can scream and sob in pain before you completely exhaust yourself.

Any and all distraction, pain numbing etc techniques very welcome. Healthy or unhealthy, I don't even care. I think this pain will literally kill me if I don't CTB first - but not today.