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Lifeisatrap

Arcanist
Oct 5, 2018
408
As of now it's the thought that it will all be over soon.
 
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Shinji is a failure

Shinji is a failure

Member
Nov 30, 2018
8
Distractions help a lot of the time, at least in the short term. I've yet to find a long term answer to that though.
 
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D

dyingtodie

Student
Nov 29, 2018
115
Music. Online Chess. Fantasizing about/researching ctb. Observing squirrels/birds from my window. Reading. Sleep. Pot. youtube, podcasts (the mental illness happy hour podcast - is a great one!) The knowledge I can exit whenever, peacefully. Honestly, I deeply believe in reincarnation, so that's keeping me in this body cause maybe I can still figure out a way through, so I don't have to return... Plus...I came here to be of service to others, with a mission of sorts...though it seems people aren't / won't be receptive to what I have to offer...I feel it's just not quite yet the time to go...also...John Frusciante's music, has helped me through and I'd miss his music tremendously. I do hope to leave ASAP tho!! I have analysis paralysis as to the method also, just can't decide!! Each has pros/cons.

The distractions are running out though...it's ridiculous to have to 'work' each day towards sustaining life when I have like a 1% hope of recovering from suicidality.

It's like when a relationship ends, it ends internally (at least for me) before it plays itself out. My life feels like it officially ended a year ago, and I've been denying and bargaining to get it back, but, it's not returning...it did for a few months, the actual will to live...only for me to be thoroughly and completely devastated when the realization of my impending end relentlessly bombarded my brain with signals to die.

I don't post, ever, but my time to do so is running out, so I'm stuffing my perfectionism and embarassment and posting.
 
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Sigurd Bonehill

Member
Aug 7, 2018
12
Music, friends, and knowing that I can end it whenever I want
 
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b4sun

Member
Oct 24, 2018
15
Staring at emptiness , watching youtube videos , imaginary friends
recently my mind , body is too fatigue , don't have the energy to summon imaginary friends
as the end is getting close..
 
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TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
Netflix interspersed with visits to ss and meltdowns.

All I'm good for is NCIS --ye gods, what a horrible show. I'd give almost anything to have the focus to read more than a paragraph at a time.

Watch an episode, check ss, watch an episode, collapse sobbing, watch an episode... Rinse, repeat, until it's time to go lie in bed and have nightmares.
 
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B

b4sun

Member
Oct 24, 2018
15
Netflix interspersed with visits to ss and meltdowns.

All I'm good for is NCIS --ye gods, what a horrible show. I'd give almost anything to have the focus to read more than a paragraph at a time.

Watch an episode, check ss, watch an episode, collapse sobbing, watch an episode... Rinse, repeat, until it's time to go lie in bed and have nightmares.

i used to watch NCIS LA , after a while i can't watch it anymore , currently i have a very short of focus or attentions
can't watch anything that are too long.
 
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T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
i used to watch NCIS LA , after a while i can't watch it anymore , currently i have a very short of focus or attentions
can't watch anything that are too long.
I have collapsed from real movies to drek like NCIS. I suspect the worst is yet to come.
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
it helps but doesn't fix it.

I cope with sex, alcohol, money, and

caffeine.
 
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EndofMyRope

EndofMyRope

Student
Oct 17, 2018
174
Netflix interspersed with visits to ss and meltdowns.

All I'm good for is NCIS --ye gods, what a horrible show. I'd give almost anything to have the focus to read more than a paragraph at a time.

Watch an episode, check ss, watch an episode, collapse sobbing, watch an episode... Rinse, repeat, until it's time to go lie in bed and have nightmares.

I think I've seen every NCIS episode out there. Lol
 
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Smashingairwaves

Smashingairwaves

misery factory
Nov 15, 2018
193
I don't cope, that's why I'm here
 
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K

Kingkelly

Mage
Dec 3, 2018
532
Netflix interspersed with visits to ss and meltdowns.

All I'm good for is NCIS --ye gods, what a horrible show. I'd give almost anything to have the focus to read more than a paragraph at a time.

Watch an episode, check ss, watch an episode, collapse sobbing, watch an episode... Rinse, repeat, until it's time to go lie in bed and have nightmares.
Your literally living my life :/ ugh hugs
 
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K

Kingkelly

Mage
Dec 3, 2018
532
Netflix interspersed with visits to ss and meltdowns.

All I'm good for is NCIS --ye gods, what a horrible show. I'd give almost anything to have the focus to read more than a paragraph at a time.

Watch an episode, check ss, watch an episode, collapse sobbing, watch an episode... Rinse, repeat, until it's time to go lie in bed and have nightmares.
I just finished criminal minds binge.
 
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S

stargazer

Arcanist
Nov 19, 2018
433
I don't. I've been really feeling 'it' lately.
 
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Help_Me

Help_Me

Gene pool mistake
Oct 21, 2018
516
Distracting myself (and others) with job and illusional life goals I am not going to complete anyway.
 
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furax53

Student
Nov 13, 2018
191
moi je joue à beaucoup de jeux vidéo et j'essaie de sortir de chez moi pour essayer de faire du sport parce que j'aime la piscine et j'essaye de consacrer ah ma reconversion professionnelle mais la force de defois n'est pas si difficile et je pense ah ah ctb
 
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Jiva

Jiva

I want ...
Nov 18, 2018
493
Meanwhile the life is easiest, than overcome the survival instinct. Although i don't want live.
 
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F

furax53

Student
Nov 13, 2018
191
[QUOTE = "Jiva, post: 149972, member: 4043"] En attendant, la vie est plus facile que vaincre l'instinct de survie. Bien que je ne veuille pas vivre. [/ QUOTE]


I'm in the same situation as you
 
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C

checking out

Member
Sep 17, 2018
56
I just try to make it to the end of the day when I can finally go to sleep. It's the only break some people get. I feel sorry for those with insomnia! :/
Mate I hear you! I do the same - it's such a relief when the end of the day comes and I can go to sleep. Although I have sad dreams nearly every night, they are marginally less painful than my waking life so it's still a little break
 
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Trashcan

Trashcan

Trash
Aug 31, 2018
1,234
I just do things I have to do and try to find little things I also enjoy doing.
 
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Teas

Member
Nov 4, 2018
55
My hobbies keep me sane. Sadly, I barely have time to focus on the stuff I enjoy because I come home tired and worn out due to work, school, and the constant thoughts about the dreaded future.
 
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Tyuiop

Student
Nov 25, 2018
155
I take an SSRI, listen to music constantly, especially when working, and try to not care about my future. Also I smoke like chimney, anyone else does this? I find it calms me down, and keeps the thoughts and urges away.
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
I take an SSRI, listen to music constantly, especially when working, and try to not care about my future. Also I smoke like chimney, anyone else does this? I find it calms me down, and keeps the thoughts and urges away.
what kind of smoke?
 
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M

Mljonzy

Student
Aug 21, 2018
145
Video games and working out but i don't cope. Last week i played spyro reignited so i'm a 29 year old man collecting gems with a purple dragon in my spare time lol how pathetic is that.
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
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Tyuiop

Student
Nov 25, 2018
155
I've considered smoking cigs. What brand do you smoke?
I smoke rolling tobacco, choice brand. Dont really like normal cigs.
 
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BlackDragonof1989

BlackDragonof1989

Mage
Jul 12, 2018
526
*giggles* Dxm, overeating, occasionally a cigarette, chicken strips, occasional orgasm, spiritual research, mental power games, all the push pull, having a good bowel movement, but that's about it, oh and nice drives with old songs <3 Trying not to pee on myself. Going to ask about mental hospitals without intending to go to one xD Having diarrhea <3
 
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O

okyeah

Arcanist
Jul 20, 2018
425
Reality is so boring. I have been addicted to video games most of my life but they no longer do anything for me. Reality is shit because I feel like I cannot be myself anywhere. It feels like I wear a mask every day which is very draining. None of us have any real power or control. Just illusion of control. So when you realize that life becomes even worse lol.
 
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