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waterbaby100

Member
Nov 26, 2024
90
Hey I know I don't have much strength left to keep going. How do others keep going when they know they're going to ctb soon
 
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W

wonderfulheaven

Member
Oct 31, 2024
86
i don't really know myself. i think i just use that time to try and accustom myself to death and overcoming SI in various ways whilst yearning for a miracle to happen to where i'll lose the urge to. it's sad to live this way.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
15,271
I simply tell myself I have to. I want to wait till my Dad goes first. There's no way I want to do that to him.

Although, that is because I feel like I can hold on for now. It won't be easy or pleasant but, I've also been through worse periods in my life so- that gives me strength. That, I made it through that, I ought to be able to hold on a while longer.

Plus, I try to find a balance between indulging myself and my lazyness: 'Go ahead, play a videogame all day long. You're doing well, just staying alive.' But, also knowing that I can't drop the ball completely. I'll still need to work hard to sustain myself until I don't need to anymore.

I suppose suicide is my golden carrot in a way. Except I hope I will actually catch up to it one day. It's a kind of promise to myself that I will indeed 'rescue' myself and pluck myself out of this life but, only at the right time when it will cause less pain to those left behind.
 
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bananaolympus

bananaolympus

Specialist
Dec 12, 2024
394
I sleep most of the time or just stay in bed, i just read random stuff in my phone, don't watch tv or play games like i used to anymore just can't focus which at least has helped my sleep to be way better, don't know when im gonna ctb i have all the sn protocol ingredients, i guess i just living the moment not thinking in the future
 
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Reactions: pointblank
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Nadienobody

Member
Jan 2, 2025
32
I don't think about the future, don't care about anything. I just distract myself and try to be comfortable in the shitty life I have, knowing that I can CBT if/when the situation gets worse.
 
Jisatsu

Jisatsu

黒恄薔薇(The Black Rose)
Jan 5, 2025
2,012
Hey I know I don't have much strength left to keep going. How do others keep going when they know they're going to ctb soon
I don't think about it , I get high and drunk and just cry until I fall asleep
 
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Reactions: dontwakemeup
H

Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,184
I donno, sleep, everything moves on in time, even our torturous mental states.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,007
I really understand feeling so tired of suffering, I personally always find it so torturous to exist, I wish there's the option to just fall asleep permanently and never suffer ever again. But anyway I wish you the best.
 
D

dontwakemeup

Paragon
Nov 11, 2024
910
Lack of a reliable and painless method. After so many failed attempts, it's pointless in trying. I'm just waiting for my natural death now. On my tough days, I just sleep it away. Hopefully, it will be over soon.
 

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