I appreciate Tim trying to tell me how, but. I have no bloody idea what the chat section, sites bar and private conversations icon is. Sorry guys I'm afraid y'all will think l'm too stuck up to respond. I'm not stuck up, just too damn dumb to figure it out. Thanks to my would be mentors, but I still can't figure it out.
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Let's start again. There are several ways to do things which complicates things.
There are chats which are two people and conversations which can be any number of people. They are both private and are only visible to the people involved.
To start a chat or conversation click on somebody's avatar until a box comes up. At the bottom you get "Start chat" or "Start conversation". Unless they have changed this in settings.
To check your conversations click on the three lines in the top left of the screen. Click on the conversation icon at the top which is third from left just before the bell.
To check your chats or private messages click on the three lines as above. There is a list of functions. Click on the chat icon which looks like a speech bubble.