Help How do I make my family take me seriously

[doomedtoroam]

I just got a call from my dad saying "if i call next week and ask you what you want to do with your future i don't want to hear you say 'i don't know'."

But I have no motivation, i want to do nothing of my life and i'm tired of it. All i want to do is find a way to ctb.
I believe every outcome of my life that's optimal ends with ctb.
But of course no one would believe me if i said that. They think i'm not serious, or attention seeking, or tell me to get over it.

Do i try looking for something or do i make my family understand i'm really suicidal? Do i keep being myself and let them lecture me over and over? Do i start to cut again so they see it? Do i tell them i want to die again? Or do i do a foolish ctb attempt without telling them like i did a year and a half ago.

I'm so tired.

 

[アホペンギン]

There isn't any point in putting the endless effort into trying to convince people that you're serious about your choice to ctb and how its the only decent outcome of your life. Anyone who is a pro-lifer will NEVER take you seriously, their mindset revolves around false hope, they believe everything will get better, even treatment resistant pain. If you try to ctb, they will believe you are doing it for attention, they will pity you for a week or not at all and then go back to how they used to be.

Don't try convincing them, do not let them know about your plans and be as discreet as possible.

 

[doomedtoroam]

There isn't any point in putting the endless effort into trying to convince people that you're serious about your choice to ctb and how its the only decent outcome of your life. Anyone who is a pro-lifer will NEVER take you seriously, their mindset revolves around false hope, they believe everything will get better, even treatment resistant pain. If you try to ctb, they will believe you are doing it for attention, they will pity you for a week or not at all and then go back to how they used to be.

Don't try convincing them, do not let them know about your plans and be as discreet as possible.

It makes me feel very sad because my family really is the only irl connection i have with anyone... and it's hard to let go of it... but what you described was exactly how they treated me a year and a half ago. I went to the hospital in the afternoon and an hour later my dad sent my a message saying "when do i pick you up" like i was at a carnival. My mom blamed it all on me getting covid and my siblings don't even talk about it thinking i'm having tantrums.

I don't really risk getting institutionalized because i used to get threatened with it but after it happened my family doesn't even believe in it. But telling them would inflict unnecessary pain on me.. --"

 

[Forever Sleep]

As your family, they're probably unlikely to accept your decision to CTB and they'll most likely keep nagging at you to do something with your future. I expect they see that as what will get you out of this slump (as I suspect they see it.)

I guess it depends on what you want. If you would like their support but want it to be more nurturing- maybe the honest approach is best. Basically- you can't get excited and motivated about your future because really honestly- you don't want to be here for it. Plus- while you know they mean well- getting annoyed with you isn't helping. It's going to be upsetting for them- no doubt, but hopefully, they may at least try to consider things from your point of view.

Of course- it likely won't stop them nagging and fussing. They probably do want to help you- or at least, they want you to help yourself. I'm guessing they'll push you more towards doing things to (possibly) improve your life- therapy, exercise, making more friends. Which of course could end up being just as irritating but, maybe they will change their tone in how they speak to you.

Also- it may be worth you asking them for a chat. Rather than them keep going on at you- maybe if you say to them, you need to talk to them about what you're struggling with- it looks more like you are taking control of the situation. That's what they want I think- for you to show that you're aware of your situation- not just letting life drift by. Sometimes people are kinder when you approach them for help because it demonstrates a level of trust. It shows that you do value them too- which I think most people want.

The alternative of course is to fake that you're ok and on the mend but- if they are close to you and especially if you are dependant on them financially- I expect you would need to actually make steps towards that.

I almost see it as treading water. I want to wait till my Dad goes before I CTB (if I have the guts to do it.) I don't want him to know just how badly I feel though because- there's nothing he can do. It would only upset him. I need to support myself financially though- so for now, I'm stuck with working. Currently, I'm at least doing the job I enjoy-ish but I suspect that will change soon. It's just a case of having to though. I don't have the motivation to push myself for what I used to want. From now on, it's just about getting by and holding together enough of an appearance that I'm normal-ish. Of course, it's harder when you're younger though- people expect you to have more hope and drive. I'm sorry for your situation.

 

[SilentSadness]

Sadly, there's nothing you can do if your family is not taking you seriously. Showing others cut marks or doing a suicide gesture is not helpful. It is best to cut contact if necessary.

 

[UKscotty]

If you don't actually want to CTB, a cry for help is a very bad idea as it might actually work.

You might be better off in the recovery section of the forum.