I'm genuinely so so tired of going through this stupid cycle a hundred thousand times where life keeps baiting me and tricking me, getting a bit better than getting worse again. I'm not interested in this bullshit in anyway anymore. It's hard because I keep thinking about it, than chatting with dumb chatgpt which then makes things even worse cause it's such a dumb chatbot, but because I spoke to it, it slows me down and confuses me again, hence keeping this stupid cycle going.
So how do I just..... stop accidentally pulling the brakes over and over again and stay calm leading up to an attempt, like if I'm planning on doing it months in the future?
sure, I could just idk, ignore it but then it gets heavy then I get tired and it just sucks. I just wanna commit, not feel too bad about it, and just leave.
So it's hard, cause I need to stay emotionally and mentally stable to be able to carry it out, but at the same time you only want to die when you don't feel stable.
Hopefully that made sense.
Advice, perspectives, tips, etc would be appreciated.
So how do I just..... stop accidentally pulling the brakes over and over again and stay calm leading up to an attempt, like if I'm planning on doing it months in the future?
sure, I could just idk, ignore it but then it gets heavy then I get tired and it just sucks. I just wanna commit, not feel too bad about it, and just leave.
So it's hard, cause I need to stay emotionally and mentally stable to be able to carry it out, but at the same time you only want to die when you don't feel stable.
Hopefully that made sense.
Advice, perspectives, tips, etc would be appreciated.
