How do I get rid of this feeling?

[faith.collapsing]

Since I'm not that great with words, I'll just get straight to the point.. At night, when I am unable to sleep, I feel the need to inflict pain on myself, sometimes I make my chest feel tight, I punch the wall, I bang my head against the wall. And no matter how much I try to change to be better, it's always so slow and eventually goes back to having no progress, it makes me hate myself even more even though I am trying my best. My life isn't that hard, I am grateful for it, but somehow I feel comfort in misery or in other words; addicted to unhappiness. It is stupid, I think, but I promise to whoever is reading this that I am being honest.

 

[anonymouswebuser]

Since I'm not that great with words, I'll just get straight to the point.. At night, when I am unable to sleep, I feel the need to inflict pain on myself, sometimes I make my chest feel tight, I punch the wall, I bang my head against the wall. And no matter how much I try to change to be better, it's always so slow and eventually goes back to having no progress, it makes me hate myself even more even though I am trying my best. My life isn't that hard, I am grateful for it, but somehow I feel comfort in misery or in other words; addicted to unhappiness. It is stupid, I think, but I promise to whoever is reading this that I am being honest.

I've had this feeling for a few years now, it sucks and it's preventing me from being able to live life normally so you're not experiencing this alone.

Regardless, hope you and anyone else who feels this way genuinely gets better

 

[grapevoid]

Hi- have you tried shocking your nervous system when you start to feel this way? For example:
A cold shower
Ice on the back of your neck
Dipping your face in ice water
Raising your heart rate quickly (by running or jumping jacks maybe)
Eating something very sour or spicy?