• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
nonliv

nonliv

Member
Aug 30, 2024
44
How do I replace or stop connecting something bad to something I love when it comes to ocd? How do I stop associating something with another thing? As an example - A character that has black hair and is japanese, associating them with a real life criminal who tortured children sexualy who had black hair and is philipino. How do I brake this connection?
 
  • Love
Reactions: bl33ding_heart
HeyBoogahJr

HeyBoogahJr

I'm still here.
Apr 25, 2026
101
I do something similar but not OCD. Have you tried reminding yourself that these two are different things? Like "Awesome character, Oh. But they look like a person I don't like." *Breathe* "This person isn't them and vice versa, its okay." I hope this helps. Why do you think you started associating things with other things? do you generally associate with things that are seem to be bad?
 
  • Love
Reactions: bl33ding_heart
Upvote 0
nonliv

nonliv

Member
Aug 30, 2024
44
I do something similar but not OCD. Have you tried reminding yourself that these two are different things? Like "Awesome character, Oh. But they look like a person I don't like." *Breathe* "This person isn't them and vice versa, its okay." I hope this helps. Why do you think you started associating things with other things? do you generally associate with things that are seem to be bad?
Yes I do. My brain laches onto similarities and keeps trying to make me drop them. If something is important to me, it usually gets tarnished by ocd. I will try my best, tomorrow I have a therapy apointment and i will try my best to ask how to deal with this problem. Thank you for the response, I'm very grateful
 
Upvote 0
HeyBoogahJr

HeyBoogahJr

I'm still here.
Apr 25, 2026
101
Ok, I'm glad your going to talk to someone about it tomorrow, I hope it goes well!
 
Upvote 0
bl33ding_heart

bl33ding_heart

Borderline
Jun 24, 2025
488
The best thing you could do is try to learn to simply let these thoughts pass and not delve into them too deeply. I'm not saying you should just ignore them. But acknowledge them for what they really are, and eventually let them fade. Try to be one step ahead of your ocd and use your awareness and understanding to prevent your mind from making these associations.
 
Upvote 0
Chuunibyou

Chuunibyou

ghost possessing this body
Jun 11, 2025
32
radical acceptance of my thoughts is what has helped my ocd the most.

I'll give an example of what I mean:

take the stereotypical ocd compulsion of hand washing. someone in this position might have the intrusive thought "what if there's a germ on my hand that's going to get me severely ill and die if I don't wash it off in time?" now, intrusive thoughts are normal, and everyone gets these. someone without ocd is capable of moving on from this thought and letting it pass by without causing pain. but someone with ocd can't do this, they get "stuck" on the thought, which leads to obsession, and then a compulsion to try and make the pain go away (rumination is also a form of compulsion btw). so they'll get stuck on this thought "what if there's a germ" and the only way they can make the anxious thought loop stop is by giving into a compulsion "ok I'll wash my hands again, so if there was a germ it'll be gone now".

obviously the problem is that these compulsions (including ruminations) do not actually ease the source of this anxiety or prove the anxiety wrong. acting on the compulsion provides a moment of relief, and the brain interprets that as a solution. but what really ends up happening is 5 minutes later when the intrusive thought pops up again, the brain says, with even more insistence, that the only thing that can make the fear stop is if we wash our hands again. and then repeat. all day, a cycle that encourages itself, spiralling out of control, until before you know it you're washing you hands hundreds of times a day "just in case" and causing severe skin damage and bleeding and scarring. not good! giving into compulsions and ruminations feels like the solution in the moment, but they only make it worse.

the only solution is not to give in.

so when this person's thoughts say "what if there's a germ" they should, to the best of their ability, NOT give that thought any value. do not rationalize it. do not validate it. do not unpack it or examine it. and do not take preventative measures "just in case". take a step back from the thought and say "this is just a thought, I'm moving on", and then if needed say: "and if there were a germ, so what? who cares? that does not have to bother me." (after all, it doesn't bother 90% of the population. so why does it need to bother you? it doesn't.)

this is very hard to do, because your brain is screaming at you to care, but you have to stay strong and try not to care. you need to accept that the thought might be correct, and that if it were that would still be ok. you can just let there be a germ on your hands.

source for all this: years of treating my own ocd and getting to a point where I genuinely don't care if the majority of my intrusive thoughts are true or not. I get horrible thoughts about sexuality and abuse and I tell myself every time, maybe these thoughts are true, but if they were I don't care. my brain says "what if you want to do this horrible thing?" and I say "maybe I do, who cares, what does it matter either way?" and move on. all I can do moment to moment is my best, and I will continue doing my best, and obsessing over the ethics of my thoughts is not at all helpful towards my best.

does this make sense?

so, in your question I feel you asking for reassurance that this character isn't associated with that criminal. did you know obsessive reassurance-seeking is also a form of compulsion? the solution to your problem isn't to prove to yourself that the association isn't true. the solution isn't to fight that connection your brain has intrusively made – the more you fight it the worse the anxiety will be. the solution is to accept that your brain has made an association and that's ok. the association is ok. the world is not going to end because of this thought. I know it'll be difficult to accept, and you might think I'm being unreasonable with "tough love" here, but imo that's the best step forward. take a step back. agknowledge it's just a thought. and accept that it'll be ok regardless of its truth.

remember: your thoughts do not control your actions. you control your actions. your thoughts – no matter how scary they are – can not hurt you or anyone else. it doesn't matter how "bad" your thoughts are, they are materially harmless and accepting them is the only way to help them pass by like normal.

one last thing: stress makes ocd a lot worse. if it's within your ability to lessen the stress in your life, please do that.
 
Upvote 0

Similar threads

nonliv
Replies
3
Views
215
Recovery
bl33ding_heart
bl33ding_heart
whitetaildeer
Replies
3
Views
424
Recovery
Redacted24
R
A Sit of Doubting
  • Question
Replies
5
Views
448
Recovery
orpheus_
orpheus_
Maormer
Replies
6
Views
499
Recovery
Maormer
Maormer