Help How do I continue on for a while more?

[Flume]

I don't know how I am going to be able to keep going for a few more weeks... every single second I just fucking hate breathing. My SN bottle is here tomorrow, and I don't know how I am going to stand being on this earth until I can get my benzos. Right now, I'm broke and I can't order em... and even if I could there's probably another two weeks of waiting after that for the shipping.

How am I supposed to live through this hell for another few more weeks? I just can't take this fucking pain anymore, I just want to die. It's not even everyday now, it's every hour. Make it to the next hour, and then the next and the next and the next...

I feel worse than I ever have, just let it end.

 

[EmptyArms]

I'm sorry Flume. I kind of thought from your posts that things might have got a little more tolerable for you. All I can do is tell you that there is support here for you, you know that. People care about you. I care. You are not alone. Try to stay connected and take advantage of that support and love.

 

[Final Escape]

You can do it Flume. I'm feeling just like u. I thought I could wait but it's now to the point I can't wait much longer.

 

[Flume]

I'm sorry Flume. I kind of thought from your posts that things might have got a little more tolerable for you. All I can do is tell you that there is support here for you, you know that. People care about you. I care. You are not alone. Try to stay connected and take advantage of that support and love.

No one can save me so I might as well try to help others for as long as I'm still around.

 

[PwincessStepford]

Did you day you were one the "other end" of existential depression? :/ what happened?

 

[EmptyArms]

No one can save me so I might as well try to help others for as long as I'm still around.

And I think you really are doing that and making a difference to people who's suffering you can deeply understand. Maybe that's your purpose to keep going. People are going to need your expertise on that subject.

 

[Flume]

And I think you really are doing that and making a difference to people who's suffering you can deeply understand. Maybe that's your purpose to keep going. People are going to need your expertise on that subject.

I'm an evil genius, sometimes I see a pattern on why a person is depressed and think to myself "yeah... that happened, and then that and then that, I see it now" All the reasons why you are hurting is true, but you also don't understand it yet, fully. You don't understand why you got turned down, why people are fucking pieces of shit. So... I don't tell em. I stay silent. I avoid bringing my thoughts about humans up, because if I do then I'll infect another person mind with this fucking poison in my head.

I don't want to be this guy, but I see through people like glass now. I don't want to live with this mind, with this poison in my head. But I do. Sometimes I can help but more than not I can't, I just can't. And I also need help, and who is there for me?

I'm a monster. My soul is so black now, no one can deal with me. No one knows how to tame the beast and I can't fucking stand it anymore. I'm so fucking tired of being misunderstood. Motherfucker I know so much you don't, (not you EmptyArms, some of the people I've talked to IRL) I've had the talks you've had 100 x times over, everything you say now I have an answer for all of it, and when I give my answers. It's like I blow the other persons mind... like "woah I never thought if it like that" Yeah... well I have.

I'm just fucking done, I tried to seek help but what happened is that I got an infected mind. Wish I could become a brainless dead zombie like I used to be, things were much easier back then.

 

[joshe]

.

I'm just fucking done, I tried to seek help but what happened is that I got an infected mind. Wish I could become a brainless dead zombie like I used to be, things were much easier back then.

Hey you still around?

How you get your hair like that?

It's cool as fuck