Help How did you know you were bipolar?

[FoxSauce]

This isn't to mock or jump to conclusions right of the bat

Mostly cuz I need some advice. I know any other mental illness is serious and I'm not doing this out of mockery or taking the limelight. I know bipolar also has to with family history but to be honest I think my family will want to disclose that information.


Ok I've made another thread before about this. I had maybe I'm not sure a hypomanic episode yknow no sleep , happy and great honestly it felt amazing went normal for a week.

Now I'm feeling the intense sadness and suicidal thoughts come in. I dont wanna get out of be my body feels heavy. I just wanna cry. Yesterday dealing with intense emotions so I SH, feel guilty as heck and still feel this way. I can still go to work and function and pretend every thing is ok.

To be honest my psychiatrist said could be bipolar 2 but I also have bpd as well which I know it can mimic some symptoms.

Im just looking for advice, I'm even ashamed to ask this stupidity or worrying of something that isn't remotely of importance.

My psychiatrist isn't sure either, ofc it's a tricky thing to diagnose. I'm not looking for a label I just want to know what's going on.


Im sorry for rambling and I hope I don't offend anyone

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

I knew I had bipolar when my doctor finally told me I do after I was suffering from a bad manic episode.

The police came to my house after a concerned staff called because I was mentally ill.
I had no bottoms on when the police came, but losing all my inhibition I came out in front of them naked.
To which the police shone a flashlight on my privates to make sure they weren't injured.
The female police officer retrieved some pants for me, but I was busy trying to fulfill biblical prophecy.
In my head the speaking blasphemous image mentioned in revelations was me and I was supposed to be testing everyone to see if they would say yes or no
to worshipping me. I kept asking the police yes or no, and they were probably confused but escorted me to their car gently. All I remember was them showing behaviour that confirmed my delusions. I remember seeing the car I was in stop funny and confirm the answer I was looking for. I thought if they gave the wrong answer I could blow fire out of my face and destroy them, like revelations mentions. Finally I realized they were taking me to the hospital. I was really out of it. I kept talking really fast over the police officers, calling them out for what I believed was them praying. When I got admitted things got worse, I had the delusion that the people staying in the psychiatric ward were there to help me, by coming In disguise of another person than the person I knew outside the hospital. I was insanely delusional. Delusions of grandeur, delusions of persecution, you name it. I took meds only because I thought that was all a part of the plan. I thought famous people like Britney Spears were in disguise while seeing me as assistant to my psychiatrist. I thought my psychiatrist was my father. I thought satan was in a committed relationship with me and would possess me and talk to me. (One of many of my delusions is the one where I would split and talk to myself, well I thought one of my splits was satan) I thought satan was actually beloved by god and we all misunderstood his role. So during my stay at the hospital a lot of my interactions were based off of my delusions and many of the patients didn't understand what the hell I was doing.

I came to my senses when the meds started working. The delusions went away, along with my belief in God. I was more present and not afraid that people were persecuting me. Around this time I realized I had what my doctor said I had, Bipolar.

Bipolar involves having manic episodes where hallucinations may occur. It's very serious and it's like watching a crazy person on the side of the street that is out of their mind and doesn't know what they are doing. It's having sleep issues for weeks and then being manic, spending money like crazy or having sex dangerously. Bipolar is feeling low, and depressed, like you want to kill yourself all the time. It's sleeping in and neglecting your routine, because you feel like you're given up on life.

BPD and Bipolar overlap, but I think there are some key differences like the delusions you get and the psychosis that comes with that. I don't know much about BPD, but what I know is there is proper diagnosing out there, and I hope you are able to get it, because Bipolar left untreated is so serious. I have Bipolar 1 and not 2 which I don't know much about except that maybe the cycles are more rapid.

Wish you the best <3

 

[FoxSauce]

Well thank you for sharing your experience and im sorry you went through that. Glad you got the help you needed.

Im still not sure myself either, so mostly I rather ask here and my doctor than anyone else yknow.

But really I appreciate it for sharing your experience! Thank you so much!

 

[Odwin]

I do not understand bipolarism.

 

[FoxSauce]

I do not understand bipolarism.

Oh im so sorry I didn't mean to bother you

 

[Odwin]

Oh im so sorry I didn't mean to bother you

Nah, I mean that literally. I mean I know what it is. I just don't understand it. These moods swing how does it feel etc.

 

[FoxSauce]

Thats why I'm asking lmao

I feel so depressed I don't understand and makes me so frustrated