I still never know whether to call it abuse, but I was in a controlling and manipulative relationship for about a year and a half. It wasn't an ideal situation, I had been through the tumultuous situation of trying to leave, but being manipulated into staying, so I know how hard it is to leave. When I finally, finally left for good (it has been almost three months since the breakup and we have not spoken since due to the measure I took) I had felt fed up for some time, things that my ex had done to me couldn't be forgotten and I knew the relationship could not be saved. When I left I was in the state of mind to do so and had the resources and support to do so.
I'm sorry you're in this situation, I truly feel for you.