• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

P

Parnate

Arcanist
Dec 16, 2021
480
I dreamt of getting good education, good wealth. Also I dreamt my family would become normal the abuse would stop. I was an idealist and a daydreamer so I believed that everything will be fine in the end. But it wasn't
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: broken_stoic, InversedShadow, deleted user 137373 and 1 other person
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
46,250
Existence itself is the problem to me, I'd just never wish to be burdened with this torturous, futile and deeply undesirable existence I just always saw as a mistake, for me non-existence is just all that's positive and is all I could hope for.

I always suffer so much as a result of this existence that was so tragically imposed that just caused all this suffering as a result with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, I find it so horrible how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just to face the agony of old age, all I want is to be permanently unconscious with all gone and forgotten, I wish I could erase this existence.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: fallingbehind, broken_stoic and InversedShadow
wh0arewe123

wh0arewe123

my keyboard is broken
Dec 8, 2025
22
I thought people would be more kinder because children learn morals from others and laws exist. I learned that if people can get away with it that rule no longer exists in a social way.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: SoulCage, InversedShadow and gunmetalblue11
OzymandiAsh

OzymandiAsh

aNoMaLy
Nov 6, 2025
185
I dreamt of getting good education, good wealth. Also I dreamt my family would become normal the abuse would stop. I was an idealist and a daydreamer so I believed that everything will be fine in the end. But it wasn't
Same. I dreamt of falling in love again, of endless curiosity and wonder, of success and fortune, etc.

In fact things would get worse than I could imagine. A living nightmare.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: InversedShadow
I

indianachrome

Member
Nov 1, 2025
59
I was set up for peace and enjoyment. My settlement would provide ample cash for trips, was able to work 5 months a year self employed and make alot of money. I was supposed to stay a minimalist, but enjoy not having to stress about day to day life. I was supposed to enjoy my beautiful girlfriend and travel the world with her. Then everything changed. September 5th i had a freak injury and can't work and no cash plus debilitating pain every day from injury.

why? Is this my struggle? To rot in bed all day?! I didn't sign up for this....
 
  • Like
Reactions: SeaGlass
broken_stoic

broken_stoic

Wander till you find your place
Aug 21, 2024
194
There really wasn't a before for me. I suppose there was a "before" this current shitshow that is my life. I guess despite all my crap I thought I knew how to make a good life and I thought I was headed in the right direction. I was pretty isolated, but was where I wanted to be and wanted to stay there. I was hoping to go back to school, buy a house, and do something more meaningful with my life. Now it's looking more and more likely I either check out or become homeless at some point, so you know . . . life can be a bitch. And abusive bitch that won't let you go.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SeaGlass
Bowerbird

Bowerbird

queer bird
May 27, 2025
57
If I wasnt even born in the first place. My genes are faulty. I was screwed the moment I was brought into this world. There's a good chance I inherited some form of bipolar, or something, I have these rapid mood swings since the age of 14 that seem to get worse over the years and it, along with other mental illness/neurodivergence runs rampant in my bloodline.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Defenestration and SeaGlass
Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
Oct 25, 2020
1,680
My problem is my birthday....
 
  • Like
Reactions: SeaGlass
Lady_V

Lady_V

Please be honest.
Aug 31, 2025
193
There was never a before shit went wrong, just a before I started processing how fucked up everything was.
I wanted to be a mommy. Be with a kind and gentle partner. Have a modest house and a career.
Just be normal.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Defenestration and SeaGlass
FoxSauce

FoxSauce

Emotionally unstable like an IKEA table
Aug 23, 2024
999
I dont think theres anything I couldve done. I tried in the past but nothing.

But life doesnt work like that.

I hope in the future things could be better.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Defenestration and SeaGlass
miles-away

miles-away

Member
May 13, 2025
40
I'd probably need to be born into a non-autistic, non-white trash family.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Defenestration and SeaGlass
SeaGlass

SeaGlass

Member
Oct 19, 2025
6
Before I got my disability diagnosis, I had a simple plan, join the army,in Poland there is a lot of benefits,and the money is good. In our country women in uniform are celebrated.
Then life hit me over the head with a hammer, so I switched to art. But I didn't know that my disability would take that too.
So it was die a solider then die an artist.
Now it's die a loser lmao.
May our next lives be kind and filled with love.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Defenestration
Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
Oct 25, 2020
1,680
Si seulement je n'étais jamais né. Mes gènes sont défectueux. J'étais fichu dès ma naissance. Il y a de fortes chances que j'aie hérité d'une forme de bipolarité, ou quelque chose du genre. J'ai des sautes d'humeur rapides depuis l'âge de 14 ans, qui semblent s'aggraver avec les années, et cela, ainsi que d'autres troubles mentaux et neurodivergences, est très fréquent dans ma famille.
Te same genetic ( cf parents)
 

Similar threads

A
Replies
9
Views
400
Suicide Discussion
Lady_V
Lady_V
thisIsNotEnough
Replies
6
Views
501
Suicide Discussion
Unlucky777
Unlucky777
A
Replies
4
Views
327
Suicide Discussion
dead dav
dead dav
MrsT-800
Replies
1
Views
252
Suicide Discussion
instormdrains
instormdrains
FranzbigDark
Replies
2
Views
245
Suicide Discussion
dontwakemeup
D