How close are you to CTB - 1-10

[Jade10666]

Probably sliding between 8 and 9, but willing to be encouraged to reach a 10

 

[DivineSpark]

Right now? I would say 3, I feel like my anxiety is right now under control. No despair or hopelessness either.

 

[wiz_miz_03]

7-8

 

[rowcrumble22]

for a majority of my life ive been stuck miserably at 6 to 7. in good times its 2

 

[Britney Spears]

9-10

 

[Pale_Rider]

6 to 7...

 

[Michi_Violeta]

5 and I fucking hate it. I should've been done with this already

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Currently not close to ctb at all. Maybe 2-3

But that can change if my situation becomes worse.

 

[getoutgirl]

8- 9

 

[humantool]

7-8

 

[Knoc]

I completly lost my mind by this point , nowdays i never experencie anything but misery so probably an 8 or a 9

 

[Big_Eal]

8, i have my ctb protocol ready to deploy , but the last step is the hardest

 

[Darkover]

1 because i don't have a method but 8 if i had a method ready but still slightly hesitant

 

[WanderingGypsy]

Like others have said, my desire to ctb varies, but I'd say it doesn't get under a 5 anymore. The thought is there almost constantly for me. Today I'm at an 8, it's been a rough week.

 

[2messdup]

Probably sliding between 8 and 9, but willing to be encouraged to reach a 10

8 or 9. Got as far as starving and starting anti-emetics last week. Not feeling much better now but waiting on a couple of essentials now.

 

[what]

6.5

 

[Valhala]

7-8

 

[Zanmato]

5.
I don't think I'm truly suicidal now, only angry and nervous (even if I'm recognizing right now that life sucks so much)

 

[Ghostofthepast]

9 I can't take life anymore

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish I was close but of course I continue to suffer in this cruel, torturous existence that I personally always saw as the most terrible mistake that I just never would had chosen, I'll always see so much cruelty in how peaceful guaranteed death is denied for me with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what, it really is all just so dreadful to me and I'd never wish for any of this. More than anything I just wish I was never forced to suffer, I never should had been burdened with this existence of suffering all for the sake of it where I'm hoping and waiting to not exist anyway, non-existence really is all I see as desirable and is the only peace for me from the cruelty and suffering of existing and I always suffer from how I cannot just choose to never wake ever again.

 

[wham311]

1000 but I cant

 

[drezerack]

6-7

 

[ToANewWorld]

8.5

 

[AlTheObviousAlien]

4-5ish. I shouldn't have attempted in front of him yesterday. I should have done it on the 7th and said fuck it who cares about my moms birthday. She never gave a shit about how I felt.

 

[FishRain3469]

Anywhere from.... 7- 9.5. Fml.

 

[ForsakenEcho]

probably around 2-3

 

[a.hamza.13]

9

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

It really varies. In rare moments maybe a 2, usually 5-6, been as close as 9 a few times. Every day marked off the calendar is one less day of this.

 

[RinneOfAragon]

5 today no end in sight currently

 

[flutebloom]

I'm at a 9