How can my family expect me to go on with a permanent physical illness?

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

Almost every time I eat food or go to the bathroom, it triggers a burning sensation in my intestines and stomach. My family sympathizes with me, but they don't understand how utterly unbearable this is. There is no living a regular life like this. They don't understand that IBS isn't just something that I will get used to, or that I simply can't become accustomed to burning pain, stomach aches, and a myriad of other symptoms every day. It just isn't something I can settle into, and somehow learn to be happy despite dealing with it. They just can't wrap their heads around how horrible it is to live like this. I lived for nearly 8 years with moderate to severe depression and it was never anything like this pain I feel now. How can they expect me to just get up in the morning, eat, work, and live my life when it feels like my intestines are on fucking fire? They just don't understand. I will never get used to it. I will never accept it.

But I've tried to make it as clear as I can to them; I can't live with this. If I don't get relief, I will kill myself. But even when that happens, they will still act like it was some preventable tragedy. But IBS has no fucking cure. There is no solution. Not every problem has a solution. Sometimes something just happens, something bad for no reason, and then you experience terrible agony every day for the rest of your life.

I'm 24. I don't consent to 50 more years of torture. I can't do it. I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry dad. But I just can't live with this agonizing fucking burning inside me.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Not every problem has a solution.

Pro-lifers don´t seem to get this, they will throw out as many positive quotes (we have heard a million times before) like it is some kind of rap battle, life isn´t a romantic tale where everything has a good ending, yes sometime it does but they act like there is always a solution but to chronical problems there simply isn´t hence why they are chronical in the first place.

And I so get what you mean that though they symphatize they somehow think you well get accustomed to the pain and discomfort maybe because you have struggled with it for many years and probably talked about it a lot so they assume if it has gone on for so long you probably have "grown stronger through the pain" and overcome it to some degree because that is the romantized view most people share.

 

[sevennn]

i related. i feel the same. mom says to ignore tinnitus. how can i ignore it. i'm so heartbroken. i can't do this anymore. i wish someone could give me a hug and help me. i'm too tired to kill my self i can't even get out of bed anymore. or eat. it hurts

 

[finallydone]

i kinda understand where you're coming from, since i myself have a myriad of incurable diseases, not as bad as you describe but it gets pretty damn rough sometimes
however the only thing i don't get is you apologizing to your parents, do you feel it's insulting for them ? the same people who's actions led to you being in this situation ? it might sound harsh i know, but i truly don't get it

 

[FuneralCry]

That really does sound so torturous, personally I find it so cruel and horrific how there's all this immense suffering in existing and it really sounds like you've suffered so unbearably. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

i kinda understand where you're coming from, since i myself have a myriad of incurable diseases, not as bad as you describe but it gets pretty damn rough sometimes
however the only thing i don't get is you apologizing to your parents, do you feel it's insulting for them ? the same people who's actions led to you being in this situation ? it might sound harsh i know, but i truly don't get it

Honestly I exaggerate a bit, because I can still function somewhat (work a part-time job, make meals myself), it just gets really physically painful at times. If you have a myriad of illnesses, then you're probably worse off than me, because I just have IBS.

The reason that I apologize to my parents is because I love them and don't want to cause them pain by committing suicide. There's a little antinatalist in me that blames them for my existence and resents them for bringing me into this world to suffer, but I still love them deeply. I don't wish I wasn't born, as much a I wish that things could have just turned out differently. Like, if I hadn't gotten IBS I wouldn't be suicidal, and my parents wouldn't have to lose me. But they will just never understand that enduring this pain for decades longer simply isn't an option.

 

[sevennn]

Honestly I exaggerate a bit, because I can still function somewhat (work a part-time job, make meals myself), it just gets really physically painful at times. If you have a myriad of illnesses, then you're probably worse off than me, because I just have IBS.

The reason that I apologize to my parents is because I love them and don't want to cause them pain by committing suicide. There's a little antinatalist in me that blames them for my existence and resents them for bringing me into this world to suffer, but I still love them deeply. I don't wish I wasn't born, as much a I wish that things could have just turned out differently. Like, if I hadn't gotten IBS I wouldn't be suicidal, and my parents wouldn't have to lose me. But they will just never understand that enduring this pain for decades longer simply isn't an option.

digestive issues are such hell. what will you be attempting with? i'm going with SN even though it'll burn

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

digestive issues are such hell. what will you be attempting with? i'm going with SN even though it'll burn

Hanging. I made a promise to a friend that I would stick around until the end of the year, so it will probably be early next year. And I want to exhaust all my possibilities for relief or treatment before I end my life. I think I owe it to myself to try that.

But if I can't get relief, I'm out. I have absolutely no desire to suffer in agony for 50 years until a natural death. I've had a wonderful life up to when I was diagnosed, and I don't want to live the rest of my life in pain, wondering about what I could have been without this illness, going to therapy forever in a vain attempt to trick myself into thinking life is still worth living. I can't wait to be free of this burden, one way or another!

 

[sevennn]

Hanging. I made a promise to a friend that I would stick around until the end of the year, so it will probably be early next year. And I want to exhaust all my possibilities for relief or treatment before I end my life. I think I owe it to myself to try that.

But if I can't get relief, I'm out. I have absolutely no desire to suffer in agony for 50 years until a natural death. I've had a wonderful life up to when I was diagnosed, and I don't want to live the rest of my life in pain, wondering about what I could have been without this illness, going to therapy forever in a vain attempt to trick myself into thinking life is still worth living. I can't wait to be free of this burden, one way or another!

years ago. hanging was my option as well. wishing you well, imagine how funny it would be if after we ctb. literally the next day doctors will come up with a cure for our illnesses. lol.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

years ago. hanging was my option as well. wishing you well, imagine how funny it would be if after we ctb. literally the next day doctors will come up with a cure for our illnesses. lol.

I've made sure in my note to extensively and emphatically explain to my family that everyone should know that the reason for my suicide was irritable bowel syndrome. I would hate it if people just assumed it was from depression. And I would absolutely despise my parents if they don't honor my wishes and not tell people I killed myself because of IBS.

People need to know that IBS fucking killed me. I want people to know so that IBS is taken more seriously, and people know how serious it is, and that it can absolutely destroy lives. That way, hopefully, they can find better ways to manage or cure it so others don't need to suffer and die like I did. I do have hope for the future, just not for my future...

 

[sevennn]

I've made sure in my note to extensively and emphatically explain to my family that everyone should know that the reason for my suicide was irritable bowel syndrome. I would hate it if people just assumed it was from depression. And I would absolutely despise my parents if they don't honor my wishes and not tell people I killed myself because of IBS.

People need to know that IBS fucking killed me. I want people to know so that IBS is taken more seriously, and people know how serious it is, and that it can absolutely destroy lives. That way, hopefully, they can find better ways to manage or cure it so others don't need to suffer and die like I did. I do have hope for the future, just not for my future...

it'd be nice to put in my note something asking people to donate to tinnitus research. maybe you can do the same. or put it somewhere. maybe ppl will feel good doing that in your honor. for ibs, yeah people need to know. chronic illness causes a lot of suicide. but they always say depression depression. it's actually so heartbreaking to be doing this when you want to live :,(

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

it'd be nice to put in my note something asking people to donate to tinnitus research. maybe you can do the same. or put it somewhere. maybe ppl will feel good doing that in your honor. for ibs, yeah people need to know. chronic illness causes a lot of suicide. but they always say depression depression. it's actually so heartbreaking to be doing this when you want to live :,(

That's actually a fantastic idea, somehow asking people to donate to IBS research in my memory. Thanks for sharing it! And I hope you find relief from your own suffering.

 

[sevennn]

That's actually a fantastic idea, somehow asking people to donate to IBS research in my memory. Thanks for sharing it! And I hope you find relief from your own suffering.

no problem. thank you for your wishes. i hope, too