I prefer to do nothing, but people who know it's my birthday get really clingy and tell me to smile more and go out more and such, it just feels off because suddenly everyone's jumping around me and tries to make me feel special? And receiving presents is honestly embarrassing (I don't want to be a bother and I don't deserve them anyway). It makes me feel really guilty for being so annoyed at people, they either just want to be nice or want me to feel special, and there's nothing bad about it
That's just something I've disliked since 12, realized I don't like being the center of attention. So I don't mention my birthday to people who don't remember it or don't even know the day
Also turning a year older makes me feel a lot more depressed, the voice "I'm now X years old and I'm still a failure "gets really hard to ignore, my youth years are fleeting away and I wasted so much time on nothing. Literally nothing