symphony

symphony

surving hour-by-hour
Mar 12, 2022
779
I tried quite a bit, actually.

Listened to songs and podcasts I enjoy instead of ones that aggravate my sadness.

Took a long walk, bought some sweets and stuffed animals for friends. I just donated a little bit of money anonymously to an overseas friend in an attempt to feel helpful.

It's difficult, though. Positive stuff like that would have sustained me for a minute, but, now, the crushing hopelessness didn't even flinch, or leave for even a short while. Even unhealthy things like excessive spending, eating, self harming - (all of which I avoided today, at the very least) hardly does anything anymore. I don't know what else I can do...
I'm sorry you're struggling so much and find that nothing works. Regardless, though, I see your earnest effort to try enacting so many healthy strategies as praiseworthy.
 
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symphony

symphony

surving hour-by-hour
Mar 12, 2022
779
Avoidantly. I took a nap just so I wouldn't have to be conscious for a bit. I'm worried it'll fuck up my sleep tonight but that's a problem for later lol
 
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Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
651
Been struggling really bad, it's been almost three weeks now. Just constantly crying every day, every night, and when I think I'm out of tears, more come. Just absolutely exhausted.

Lately, I've been just trying to get through the day as best as I can, like you guys mentioned, so I finally get the point at night where I can sleep. I've been taking sleeping pills so I can knock out a lot earlier, I genuinely cannot bear to be awake any longer than I have to. It's actual hell.

I've been trying to get into pet grooming school and I have a tour on Friday, that's the only thing I really have to look forward to. I just wish this wasn't happening when I'm experiencing one of the most rough periods I've ever had.

I'm sure this'll be something really good for me, but I'm just super emotionally and mentally shot right now. It's frustrating.
 
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ICU1

ICU1

Member
Mar 30, 2022
10
Unfortunately not well
 
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S

Skullomania

Member
Apr 5, 2022
37
theoretically music, in reality if I had more financial resources and independence I would have been dead for some time.
 
Z

Zebedee

Lost all hope
Sep 30, 2020
98
Not very well, I think about suicide almost all day everyday and have very few people to spend my time with to distract me from those thoughts. I'm going to see my parents later today, which will help me temporarily.
 
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7

710

Member
Dec 19, 2021
51
I did a wake 'n' bake early this morning and now I'm just hanging out with my cat.
 
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lili

lili

Specialist
Feb 17, 2022
319
Getting high with edibles.
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,622
Alcohol, weed, xanax and various other substances.
 
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8

84779943

Member
Mar 21, 2022
18
Smoking, sleeping, benzos and podcasts I don't really listen to but it breaks the silence
 
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Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
909
Checked myself into a clinic.. I'm not coping, but not quite ready to go just yet
 
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symphony

symphony

surving hour-by-hour
Mar 12, 2022
779
Checked myself into a clinic.. I'm not coping, but not quite ready to go just yet
Kudos on your bravery. Wishing you the best.
 
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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,145
I'm more focused today, after having a bad emotional meltdown last night. I now know that I need to be more focused on cleaning things up and getting my affairs in order.
 
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Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
651
Feeling frustrated with myself. Its like when you've come out of a really horrible episode, and realized you've sabotaged a ton of stuff while you were in the middle of it. When I let my emotions take over, I can't think clearly and really ruin a lot.

Tomorrow, I'm visiting the pet grooming school I'm supposed to attend so I'm trying to at least feel good about that.
 
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whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,914
Masturbation.
 
Livingvsdying25

Livingvsdying25

Enlightened
Dec 8, 2019
1,188
When I have more pretend life energy I try to do life improvement shit or some socializing crap... I dunno "living"

Rn I'm over it so just sleeping/trying to sleep. Youtube and watching whatever other shit to just pass the day..
 
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drivingaround

drivingaround

Member
Feb 27, 2020
41
Wrapping myself in a blanket, procrastinating, living vicariously through Youtube videos and zoning out.
 
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Negrathecat

Negrathecat

Member
Apr 28, 2020
67
I had a big episode of depression today and last night. I cried for things of my past that I can't change. Ptsd kicked in. I'm just lucky I have a really great partner who provides me with so much support. I only left my bedroom once today and my mom came to check in on me which was nice because she doesn't ever do that. She knows everything I suffer with. Being on the recovery part of this site really helps me but not many understand that and think this site is just cruel
 
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Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
651
Lots of writing today, it's really what's been keeping me somewhat sane these last couple of weeks. I have so many thoughts running through my head, it's helpful to journal and get them out.

I plan on having a conversation with someone who's had a pretty positive impact on my life so far, and I just want to get out all of my feelings to see if we're on the same page. I'm feeling very anxious about it, as it'll pretty much determine if he'll stay in my life or not. Might try to plan out what I need to say if my nerves take over. I'm hoping it goes well.
 
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symphony

symphony

surving hour-by-hour
Mar 12, 2022
779
Lots of writing today, it's really what's been keeping me somewhat sane these last couple of weeks. I have so many thoughts running through my head, it's helpful to journal and get them out.

I plan on having a conversation with someone who's had a pretty positive impact on my life so far, and I just want to get out all of my feelings to see if we're on the same page. I'm feeling very anxious about it, as it'll pretty much determine if he'll stay in my life or not. Might try to plan out what I need to say if my nerves take over. I'm hoping it goes well.
Hey, good on you man, and good luck!
 
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T

Treeline589

Experienced
Dec 14, 2021
234
I'm not coping, been cutting
 
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stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,919
I'm not coping at all.

I was completely useless as a result of unending traumatic memories.

I could have done SOMETHING more than eat a little bit and roll stupid fuckin cigarettes and argue with someone because I am an ASS and everything TRIGGERS my already TRAUMATIZED brain.

I never even took that shower I meant to take earlier. How fuckin stupid.
 
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