Venting how alone are you?

[the-eternal]

8 months since i lost contact with my best and dearest friend. we drifted apart over time, conversations growing few and far between, until she disappeared from the internet completely, with the only traces of her being long since abandoned remnants of her few social media profiles. i hope every day that she will come back, but i have to remind myself that it's been over half a year. we shared the same desire of catching the bus — i wonder if she found her peace.

i've not managed to make any new friends in those 8 months. nothing close to a friend. it doesn't come easy for me anymore. i got a cat recently, at least. conversations don't go far with him — he rarely reciprocates with the meows — but he's good company. he likes to chase balls and meow longingly at bugs on the walls — i feel i can really relate to him. even so, the loneliness is still soul crushing, and continually wears me down as the days pass. what about you?

 

[Cosmiq]

I live alone with my dog, who is very needy. I'd say we are each others emotional support, and both suffer from anxiety when we are away from each other. I've had him his entire 7 year life. For the longest time, he was like an anchor for me not to kill myself. But in the past year, but I have started to accept that I'll have to leave him. I have a rescue I've chosen from when I used to volunteer that my family will give him to, assuming they don't keep him because I was the only one that really loved animals in my family.

I saw my best friend in mid-January. He reaches out to check in on me, and would likely try to hang with me if I returned his messages or calls. My other friend I haven't seen since my birthday last year, it's pretty much the same deal. She checks in on me, but my lack of responses means we speak less and hangout less.

I'm drifting more and more from my family, and have been having anxiety attacks anytime I have to communicate with them. I was just prescribed anti-anxiety medications in hopes of being able to welcome my older brother away after 15 years.

I stopped talking to my coworkers a few days after the quarantine started in America. I'm not friends and don't speak to any of my neighbors.

Being alone is easier for me. I don't think it always feels better, it's just less feelings and emotions.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I haven´t had any friends in years and since I moved out of the appartment I shared with my little brother no one has visited me and that was in August 2018 so almost two years but it´s been almost a decade since I had friends and a social circle the only social interaction I get is from my parents a 2-4 times a month.

I miss having friends I had so much fun in my teenage years with all of my friends and that will never experience that ever again

 

[MsMaudlin]

Can I just say, another Joy Division fan on here, hooray!

As for the loneliness, I just have my child here and my pets. All of my real life friends have just drifted away

❤

 

[faust]

I do not feel lonely despite being alone. And even prefer solitude. Well, maybe because I do not meet people who surf the same waves, whose lifestyle would be interesting for me. Looks like people forgot what life is. Accumulating material things like they do change something. I used to call friends, telling them let's do something crazy, something adventurous but they say they feel fine where they are. Cmon, I am a suicidal guy who will be dead soon and even before the decision I knew that we live once only and your comfort will be worth nothing when you lay dying and try to recall things you did in your life. There is literally nothing to do with people. Being pro-lifers they are acting like they gonna live forever. Now I am alone because my time comes soon, I don't want to bother anybody with my death and get closer to somebody. In these terms it is better to communicate there. Like we know that we will be dead soon and do not terrorize and shame each other for suicidal thoughts.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I'm as alone as could be. In my usual life, excluding the lockdown, I live in a shared house of nine, a psychiatric support house, but none of the residents socialise, except for a walk once or twice a week. I have two friends, and I only say yes to meeting them out of courtesy.

I'm living with parents during lockdown, which is a welcome change, but apart from meal times and maybe a beer outside I'm on my laptop all day. I usually inhabit one small room, with nothing but games to play and social media sites to crawl.

I don't mind being alone, but that's because it's all I've known for years now. Long gone are the days of being popular, of having anybody apart from a few family members to rely on. But even so I know I have more than some. Some people don't have any family.

I'm pretty much a recluse that spends every waking hour on a laptop, my only pleasure is through eating junk food and finding a YouTube video I like. But I did grow up an only child. I don't know what loneliness feels like. I literally couldn't recognise it. I do feel a lot of anxiety and stress, and I don't see my life changing at all. So to sum it up, compared to what life once was or what the normal is, I am very much alone.

 

[SerialFailer]

I spent the last 16 years alone -though I did live with my family I don't really interact with- and while initially I didn't feel lonely a lot of things changed the past few years, and meeting certain people over the internet, choosing to believe them broke my coping methods and left me even more fucked than I previously was.

I can't say I regret trying. The vast majority of people should want to meet someone who matches them, be it a friend or a lover. I'm just disappointed people lied multiple times to pretend they were that person to me, even when I insisted they were honest instead. Then they got whatever they wanted from me, and decided they were done.

As much as I had wanted and would like to find someone who I could be like minded to, I understand it's just not gonna happen. And that's fine.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I live alone with my bunny. I do have friends, but our lives are so different we don't meet often.
I don't mind being alone, but loneliness sucks!

 

[mxEll]

Lock-down has exacerbated my loneliness. I live alone and don't feel like there is anyone I can just call and talk with. In my work there are some who I would consider friends but there really isn't any connection there. If I didn't work there I don't think I'd speak with these people.

I've spent so much time even before lock-down being isolated. It's strange that while loneliness to me is not a wholly positive thing I still take a little comfort from it.

 

[JustAnotherSuicider]

Well, I don't have any social interactions since my gf dumped me. I live with my parents, but I don't talk with them at all, I just sit all day in my room. Only contact with human being that I have is at work, but it's only work-related talk. Oh, there is also uni where I always sit alone in the corner, trying to cover my tears, when everyone talk with each other :(

Ok, I've got one online friend, we've even met several times. He is the only person that didn't abandon me yet, but he surly will soon, no one can bare me for too long :(
The thing is that he lives on the other side of the country. We don't speak with each other too much, since we both are not so talkative. And with my current mental state all I can do is complaining and crying over the fact that gf dumped me, so I want to spare him this dubious pleasure and rather don't talk to him at all, so he won't get sick of my shit.

 

[DeathNoot]

I just have my direct family, thats it. Had a best friend my entire life but they ghosted me last year. My phone has 3 contacts on it lol.

 

[ssaaahmo]

I feel lonely because I have a very difficult time connecting to others enough for them to stick around

 

[Final Escape]

Total isolation almost everyday now. I hardly see anyone. If the antiemetics don't come soon I'll go with hanging but I think they are in transit. I literally just sit in my bed all day lol! Almost. I take a shower, eat a little. I've lost my mind. I'm on Twitter from morning till night or on WhatsApp lol! This is my life now

 

[Epsilon0]

I am as lonely as a that man who stumbled upon the doors to heaven and hell and could not open them. He banged and shouted, he pulled the handle and begged for someone - anyone - to let him in. Nothing. So he just sits there forever in between the two doors.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

This is how I feel even with company

 

[madbananas]

Alone. I rarely connect with anyone. The second and most recent person I connected with was a professor at my university who was supportive of me (no funny business just cared about me and treated me as a human). This person is also a huge advocate for people like me so I felt it to be genuine and still think it was. My personal tutor got annoyed that I wasn't talking to him about my problems (I've experienced SA - didn't want to talk to a man) and then the next thing the university board intervened and now me and my professor can't even talk to each other, not even what we would usually do which was email sharing articles because we share the same values. She was even instructed to block me off FB despite the fact I'd never contacted her on that. Funnily enough though my personal tutor contacted me on Facebook at 11pm, so for him to be going on about professionalism etc is rich. Now I feel like a shell. No closure or anything. No real reason or an explanation from her that it wasn't personal, although then school said it wasn't. But I can't trust them now. I'm done being alone and abandoned.

 

[Final Escape]

This is how I feel even with company

View attachment 35978

Lol! Right that's me now as well

 

[ReadytoCtb]

I am so alone right now. I have decided to ctb tonight. For some reason I am not able to start a new thread. I want to keep everyone updated.

 

[muffin222]

Very alone. I'm a social recluse. I have no friends and no genuine emotional connection with my parents or family members. I simply don't trust people easily, nor do I derive much pleasure from small talk or socializing the vast majority of the time. I'm alone, but I savor my solitude for the most part

I am so alone right now. I have decided to ctb tonight. For some reason I am not able to start a new thread. I want to keep everyone updated.

I'm so sorry life has brought you to this decision. I wish you so much peace and tranquility

 

[Final Escape]

I am so alone right now. I have decided to ctb tonight. For some reason I am not able to start a new thread. I want to keep everyone updated.

Totally feel u. I wish I could go out today. Sorry u feel so alone. :(

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

I lost friends. I lost partners. I lost everyone. Now I'm scared of forming new friendships. I'll rather be alone than disappointed again.

 

[Bend Sinister]

I am so alone right now. I have decided to ctb tonight. For some reason I am not able to start a new thread. I want to keep everyone updated.

This seems a sudden decision. If I may, what was your trigger and what is your ticket to ride going to be

 

[Final Escape]

I lost friends. I lost partners. I lost everyone. Now I'm scared of forming new friendships. I'll rather be alone than disappointed again.

I just wanna be dead. Same.

 

[Final Escape]

This is how I feel even with company

View attachment 35978

Looks like Pablo Escobar that famous drug dealer.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Looks like Pablo Escobar that famous drug dealer.

It's from the Netflix series "Narcos"

 

[Good4Nothing]

Very, very, very alone.
When I was young I had more friends than I could count. I was a part of my city's music and art scene, I had literally hundreds of friends.
Now I have 3. I rarely see them. We text every month or so.
For the past 10 years I have lived alone. I like living alone. But I do get lonely.
I wish I had found the one I love and who loves me. I never did. I'm 48 now. I don't think it's likely to happen. My time has passed.

 

[mathieu]

Very alone. I live by myself with a little dog but I'm afraid of leaving the house. I hope to ctb soon, this life is hell.

 

[GoBack]

100%

 

[BridgeJumper]

How alone I am?
*insert tumbleweed gif*

 

[Aavemainen]

I have friends, but I'm alone in the sense that I can't talk to them about my issues. I feel like an alien, watching them go on about their lives in our group chats. I rarely participate any longer, and when I do, I act like a robot, saying things that "are expected" to be said in those situations. This feels like some kind of weird social distancing, but on a whole other level.