Help Hotel or home?

[Ozhertz]

Hello,

I have my N, antiemetics and am ready. My original plan was to book a nearby hotel but part of my brain thinks it would be better to do at home - easier for my husband.

That's completely stupid, right? It wouldn't be easier for him to find me. I KNOW none of this will be easy for him - I do understand that.

I guess I'm trying to assuage my guilt.

Thank you so much for your feedback.

 

[Iwantoutrightnow]

Why would it be easier for your husband if you did it at home?

 

[WolfgangA]

I'm not trying to be condescending btw, try and relax, perhaps take time if possible and think, really think what do you want and then your mind will work itself out.

 

[Ozhertz]

Why would it be easier for your husband if you did it at home?

It probably wouldn't be. He just doesn't deal with change well so i have this small part of my brain that thought him finding me would be easier for him opposed to getting a call from the police.

I guess I just need confirmation from someone that a hotel is best. It's not like I can ask anyone in my life.

I'm not trying to be condescending btw, try and relax, perhaps take time if possible and think, really think what do you want and then your mind will work itself out.

I do know that I want to die. I'm ready.

I do have feelings of guilt about leaving my husband and son - I can't lie.

 

[kuddelmuddel23]

Although I live alone, I have opted for a hotel and will ctb there. For me there are some advantages. On the one hand this is a neutral place, which prevents that relatives connect a certain place (like for example my apartment) with my death. The second advantage is that I have chosen a large hotel chain. Everything there is very impersonal, so I hope I don't hurt anyone personally. And last but not least the nature of a hotel room makes sure that after a certain time I will definitely be found without having to send delayed emails to the police. So I can simply put a sign on the wall: Immediately call 911, dead body in bathroom.

 

[WolfgangA]

@Ozhertz
I wasn't thinking about that. But rather the the question of where. For instance, one person likes mountain another likes the sea, both has their ups and downs, usually its upto the individual. but nonetheless I've found that taking sometime and thinking does help. I didn't mean to add more confusion, apologies.

 

[bigj75]

property value of the house goes down. death occurring in the household is on record. so if they try to sell the house after you die it lessees the value. i would just do it in a hotel personally.

 

[Jean Améry]

If you're going to do this it would probably be advisable to do it in a hotelroom so your husband won't be the one to find you and won't have to reminded of your death every time he passes the spot where it happened. That being said somebody will have to identify your body.

If I may ask: what's the reason you want to CTB? It's obvious you still care about your husband.

 

[bigj75]

If you're going to do this it would probably be advisable to do it in a hotelroom so your husband won't be the one to find you and won't have to reminded of your death every time he passes the spot where it happened. That being said somebody will have to identify your body.

If I may ask: what's the reason you want to CTB? It's obvious you still care about your husband.

That's what im saying. plus if he wants to sell the house the value goes down because of death in the house.

 

[Ozhertz]

If you're going to do this it would probably be advisable to do it in a hotelroom so your husband won't be the one to find you and won't have to reminded of your death every time he passes the spot where it happened. That being said somebody will have to identify your body.

If I may ask: what's the reason you want to CTB? It's obvious you still care about your husband.

I've suffered from 'treatment resistant' depression and PTSD for most of my life (two decades). Have tried dozens of medications and medication combinations, ECT and even ketamine infusions. I'm exhausted and although I love him and our son, I can't live like this anymore. It hasn't been a decision made lightly.

 

[Iwantoutrightnow]