Method Hotel booked for today. Hope i will beat SI.

[tiredone]

Well...got last final no from my ex.
Got refused rehousing and messed up loads of things.
Everything is overwhelming and i hope I manage to go through with it.
Already toom meto 10mg yesterday and another now. Fasting since going sleep yesterday. Dont know the timing yet as i am scared shitless. I will wait for ex to go pick kid from school and leave the house. I said goodbye to little one in the morning and will say bye to older one as i go out. Once im out im hoping to get measuring beaker and some cups. Got everything else packed ready.
SI is horrible.
Managed to sort out measuring beaker. Hope it will go well and work as intended. Im tired and eant to be done and gone.
If anyone is out there, some words of support would be great as i feel horribly alone and i want to go go through with it just im scared i will back up at last minute or someyhing will go wrong. I messed up most things in my life. Im worried i will mess this up too.
It will be stat dose with 2 hour liquid fast, 1h prior 600mg ibu 30 mins prior 30mg meto.

 

[tiredone]

Another sad suicide statistic and drama for the hotel. May peace be with you

Thank you for believing in my success.
I dont have any other place.
Everywhere else i risk being discovered early.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck with your plans and I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[tiger b]

Best wishes

 

[imrantahir1208]

Truly wishing you peace. I am sure you're a person with great courage that can beat SI. I could relate because I have 2 little ones.

 

[tiredone]

Thank you all. Just waiting for moment to change clothes and leave when ex goes out soon.

 

[justcallmeJ]

Im so sorry it has come to this. I hope your kids can understand. I wish you nothing but the best and peace <3

 

[Jolene79]

T

Well...got last final no from my ex.
Got refused rehousing and messed up loads of things.
Everything is overwhelming and i hope I manage to go through with it.
Already toom meto 10mg yesterday and another now. Fasting since going sleep yesterday. Dont know the timing yet as i am scared shitless. I will wait for ex to go pick kid from school and leave the house. I said goodbye to little one in the morning and will say bye to older one as i go out. Once im out im hoping to get measuring beaker and some cups. Got everything else packed ready.
SI is horrible.
Managed to sort out measuring beaker. Hope it will go well and work as intended. Im tired and eant to be done and gone.
If anyone is out there, some words of support would be great as i feel horribly alone and i want to go go through with it just im scared i will back up at last minute or someyhing will go wrong. I messed up most things in my life. Im worried i will mess this up too.
It will be stat dose with 2 hour liquid fast, 1h prior 600mg ibu 30 mins prior 30mg meto.

So sad it's come to this for you. A hotel seems the best of a bad choice. Better than at the house. I wish there was some hope of you feeling better and finding a way out of the current despair. I totally understand that you feel there isn't. Take care

 

[tiredone]

Left the house. About hour walk to hotel.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I am sorry for your pain. I understand you.

 

[zeldalover]

I wish you nothing but everlasting peace. You deserve to rest

 

[SVEN]

Best wishes for achieving peace and rest. Though you are on your own, you are not alone as our thoughts and good wishes are with you.

 

[tiredone]

Plastic cups sorted. About 10 mins away from hotel.
In the room now
Ibuprofen 600mg taken 20 mins ago. Took shower to pass time. Meto soon. Im calm and anxious at same time. My ex rang me about 30 mins ago. Didnt answer. She didnt write. Should i write something back?

Best wishes for achieving peace and rest. Though you are on your own, you are not alone as our thoughts and good wishes are with you.

Thank you.

 

[SVEN]

Go with your heart, if it says write, write; if not, just settle yourself and centre down. We are with you whatever you decide. Good wishes.

 

[HerculePoirot]

Should i write something back?

No i don't think you should. Your suicide will be a very clear message in itself.

 

[tiredone]

T

Go with your heart, if it says write, write; if not, just settle yourself and centre down. We are with you whatever you decide. Good wishes.

Thank you. Just wrote back question mark but she did not reply.
Took meto 20 mins ago so go time should be in 10 mims or so.
2 cups mixed and ready. Just went ouyside for a vape.
It feels surrreal. Not scary. Just...i dont know. Still hoping she will reply in next 10 mins and something will change. I do love her and kids so much...that i cant l8ve without her and them together as family. I have been putting this off for few months now but after yesterdays final no...i cant anymore.
Took diazepam 4 mins ago. Waiting for it to slowly kick in. 2 cups ready next to bed. Tasted the spoon that i used for mixing and it was like very salty sea water.
Want to write something to her or my dad but really dont know what.
Will just write goodbye to my dad when i drink SN.

 

[SVEN]

We have your back, write (or not) as you feel best.

 

[kittyswift]

im sorry its come to this :( i hope you find the peace you deserve <3 good luck