Hunter
Experienced
- Sep 14, 2018
- 260
The way I think about it it's long-term pain versus short-term pain. Both will end up in suicide.
I actually really enjoyed sleeping in my car for months! It was by choice though so maybe that makes a big difference!
Hunter
Experienced
- Sep 14, 2018
- 260
:)
That's cool. I peed in a fucking plastic jug last night, never thought that would be my new life. Good times. I'm sure you can remember.
I had a gym membership to take a shower, workout in etc! I ended up usually sleeping in my freinds driveway in my car!! I was usually busy for a lot of the day! However on an off day when I slept in really late it would sometimes be really weird becuase it was technically in a school zone so I would have to kids walking by my car like five feet away! I was on the west coast so homeless does not have the same stigma as the east coast! I would also do armed security and college! So I always looked clean cut for armed security! (I was the only person who hadn't been in the military who hard that job at my company)!Which was weird becuase I know If I told anyone I was sleeping in my car I would of been fired!
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Jen Erik
-
- Oct 12, 2018
- 637
I'd stay in the abusive home.
The anxiety I feel everyday around housing security is tremendously worse than anything I ever felt living in the abusive home I grew up in, that a clinician once described as 'extremely dangerous'.
So I can very vividly imagine how poorly I would cope with actually being without a home.
I live in a city with a horrible housing problem that worsens year after year, as well as an enormous population of those without homes and a large klatch of NIMBY pearl-clutchers going on and on about 'the homeless problem' and their 'poor life choices', and I am financially insecure, so I am acutely aware of and affected by the possibility of being without a home should something happen to my place of residence – destroyed by fire or natural disaster, sold and converted to TICs/condos, etc.
The anxiety I feel everyday around housing security is tremendously worse than anything I ever felt living in the abusive home I grew up in, that a clinician once described as 'extremely dangerous'.
So I can very vividly imagine how poorly I would cope with actually being without a home.
I live in a city with a horrible housing problem that worsens year after year, as well as an enormous population of those without homes and a large klatch of NIMBY pearl-clutchers going on and on about 'the homeless problem' and their 'poor life choices', and I am financially insecure, so I am acutely aware of and affected by the possibility of being without a home should something happen to my place of residence – destroyed by fire or natural disaster, sold and converted to TICs/condos, etc.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,849
I would say, homeless because at least I have the freedom to go about my own way. Sure, life still would suck, winters, summers, and bad weather would suck, but at least I could go to a secluded place and die (preferably via firearm). I also would not have to answer to anyone, yet at the same time I would be constantly subjected to the environment, the elements, and what not.
Misanthrope
Mage
- Oct 23, 2018
- 557
I would choose the abusive home based on the description of it being emotional abuse only.
Simply because they likely have not wiped their dick all over the sandwich you are about to eat. Probably not coming in your room pissing on you for shits and giggles. Or stealing your shoes and throwing them in a ditch. Probably not setting your bedding on fire and filming it on their smart phones either. They are not going to be beating you up and mugging you either. It is also doubtful police are going to bust in your room and disturb your sleep, telling you what a waste of life you are and no one wants you round here. Your toes are likely not going to get frostbite and go black. Since you wont need to walk so much blisters that seemingly multiply won't get to form in the first place, then seem to become one large variety of a peeling foot. That later bursts and create awful smelling pus, becoming infected later because you have walked miles in shoes saturated in grime and bacteria just so you can get a drink or make it to a soup kitchen before it closes. You also won't get religious sanctimonious assholes making you feel grateful for their charity, acting in passive aggressive ways insinuating that all your suffering is god's fucking plan and you chose this due to your sins.
Rather wonderfully you will have access to clean clothes and bedding and a shower. Meaning various illnesses born of dirt won't be working their way into your blood so readily making you sick with nowhere to lie down comfortably and recover making the demands of survival harder. With other homeless viewing you as an easy target. Like a diseased caribou hounded to death by wolves soon to be picked clean. Also means no chronic boredom of people watching, As unless the emotional abuse involves no access to media then you at least can watch something to distract from the pain.
But while you are in your abusive situation you should do everything in your power to get out of there. Building towards landing safely somewhere where you set the rules for yourself and the roof over your head is yours even if it is rented and can barely afford to put the heating on. If you are homeless this is even harder because you will constantly be sidelined by immediate needs. Demands of work appearance are also harder to satisfy.
While you build towards that view the emotional abuse for what it is. Absolute shit! I mean this quite literally, when words are excreted all over you designed to provoke a reaction. View it as shit, if you have to imagine literally stools launching out their mouths and splatting against the wall in fanciful patterns. Then do that. Because it is important you realize that everything coming from them is shit. Do you take advice from shit? Do you believe what shit has to say? Do you ever do a dump and ask it to define your self worth for you?
If you are the sort that analyses hateful words spoken, then twist those words bend them back on themselves. Ask yourself if it also applies to them? Congratulations they are likely projecting their own failings on you. If it helps imagine them talking the most stupid nonsense you have ever encountered. Turn them into a parody, imagine them eating the candy floss in the attic, or setting themselves on fire for youtube likes. Whatever it takes to diminish their power.
Because if you internalise their shit and stupidity you will simply wind up torturing yourself. That in itself becomes a habit long after the original abusers are gone.
Peace.
Simply because they likely have not wiped their dick all over the sandwich you are about to eat. Probably not coming in your room pissing on you for shits and giggles. Or stealing your shoes and throwing them in a ditch. Probably not setting your bedding on fire and filming it on their smart phones either. They are not going to be beating you up and mugging you either. It is also doubtful police are going to bust in your room and disturb your sleep, telling you what a waste of life you are and no one wants you round here. Your toes are likely not going to get frostbite and go black. Since you wont need to walk so much blisters that seemingly multiply won't get to form in the first place, then seem to become one large variety of a peeling foot. That later bursts and create awful smelling pus, becoming infected later because you have walked miles in shoes saturated in grime and bacteria just so you can get a drink or make it to a soup kitchen before it closes. You also won't get religious sanctimonious assholes making you feel grateful for their charity, acting in passive aggressive ways insinuating that all your suffering is god's fucking plan and you chose this due to your sins.
Rather wonderfully you will have access to clean clothes and bedding and a shower. Meaning various illnesses born of dirt won't be working their way into your blood so readily making you sick with nowhere to lie down comfortably and recover making the demands of survival harder. With other homeless viewing you as an easy target. Like a diseased caribou hounded to death by wolves soon to be picked clean. Also means no chronic boredom of people watching, As unless the emotional abuse involves no access to media then you at least can watch something to distract from the pain.
But while you are in your abusive situation you should do everything in your power to get out of there. Building towards landing safely somewhere where you set the rules for yourself and the roof over your head is yours even if it is rented and can barely afford to put the heating on. If you are homeless this is even harder because you will constantly be sidelined by immediate needs. Demands of work appearance are also harder to satisfy.
While you build towards that view the emotional abuse for what it is. Absolute shit! I mean this quite literally, when words are excreted all over you designed to provoke a reaction. View it as shit, if you have to imagine literally stools launching out their mouths and splatting against the wall in fanciful patterns. Then do that. Because it is important you realize that everything coming from them is shit. Do you take advice from shit? Do you believe what shit has to say? Do you ever do a dump and ask it to define your self worth for you?
If you are the sort that analyses hateful words spoken, then twist those words bend them back on themselves. Ask yourself if it also applies to them? Congratulations they are likely projecting their own failings on you. If it helps imagine them talking the most stupid nonsense you have ever encountered. Turn them into a parody, imagine them eating the candy floss in the attic, or setting themselves on fire for youtube likes. Whatever it takes to diminish their power.
Because if you internalise their shit and stupidity you will simply wind up torturing yourself. That in itself becomes a habit long after the original abusers are gone.
Peace.
bunny
保管
- Oct 3, 2018
- 364
