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pretty_city.lights

pretty_city.lights

Member
Feb 26, 2025
16
Does anyone else cling onto their method like a teddy bear? I've been carrying a rope with me everywhere i go. I dont really understand why because not only is it not the rope i would use if i did hang myself, ive decided against hanging altogether. I've fully chosen SN, but i cant stop clinging onto it. I've honestly grown very attached to it and im not sure why. I guess its just a reminder that i do have a way out, yk? Still, it feels weird to be so comforted. Like, i fall asleep holding it and often cant relax unless its within arms reach, maybe its just an odd habit? Idk, I'm just really curious to hear if anyone else has experienced this as well.
 
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ForeverCaHa

Heartbroken Welshman
Feb 16, 2025
176
Most nights before I go to bed I open the drawer with my SN just to hold it for a bit. I don't know if it calms me as such, but it grounds me in a way, I suppose. Just having it there reminds me that I don't need to do anything else except wait for my CTB date to arrive.
 
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pretty_city.lights

pretty_city.lights

Member
Feb 26, 2025
16
Most nights before I go to bed I open the drawer with my SN just to hold it for a bit. I don't know if it calms me as such, but it grounds me in a way, I suppose. Just having it there reminds me that I don't need to do anything else except wait for my CTB date to arrive.
Real, I def feel like it takes the pressure off somewhat. It makes me feel a lot less trapped
 
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Worndown

Worndown

Illuminated
Mar 21, 2019
3,381
There have been many posts about how once the material for their method is secured, people feel calm.
You have your bus pass. You just do not need to use it now, but it is in your pocket when you do.
 
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pretty_city.lights

pretty_city.lights

Member
Feb 26, 2025
16
There have been many posts about how once the material for their method is secured, people feel calm.
You have your bus pass. You just do not need to use it now, but it is in your pocket when you do.
im sorry for the redundancy of this thread, i used the search function but couldnt find anything similar so i didnt know. still pretty new to the site so im not super familiar with how things work, but i will spend more time making sure i dont repeat questions in the future! sorry again, thank you for your reply
 
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Shadow_

Sometimes dead is better
Mar 14, 2025
18
It's like comfort food, or your favorite song. Or, and please don't take this the wrong way, how a kid has his favorite blanket he won't grow out of. We all have things that make us feel safe, or okay. We grow out things and find new ones. We all need something that gives a bit of an escape, and makes us feel okay. Accept, and grow out of it if you need to, but don't feel you need to. Could be worse. Your rope could be drugs. A nightly fifth of alcohol. I routinely watch the same shows, or listen to songs from when I was a kid that my mom used to love because I feel like I'm five years old in the backseat of the car and I'm safe and the world still felt real and hopeful. We all got our shit.
 
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