dust-in-the-wind

dust-in-the-wind

Animal Lover
Aug 24, 2024
892
I've been locked up in psych for about 6 weeks with no phone. Another failed attempt I don't want to talk about. I'm still as mentally ill as ever. maybe worse. I found a tree in the woods near my house today for fsh. That's my next endeavor. I am in so much mental pain it's unbearable.
 
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Dejected 55

Dejected 55

Visionary
May 7, 2025
2,223
Wondered about you the other day as it has been a while since seeing you post in the kinds of threads you normally would post... Sorry to hear about your experience. It mirrors my own from late last year when I failed and wound up locked away without a phone for a while myself. You had about twice as long as I did though!

I haven't been able to figure out a viable alternate plan since I know my original planned method is a no-go. It's kind of frustrating even having to figure out another plan... but I get you from the standpoint of it being so much harder now than even it was previously.
 
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NoPoint2Life

NoPoint2Life

Why is this so hard?
Aug 31, 2024
854
So sorry to hear. I have been wondering where you've been. I hope you get some peace soon in some form.
 
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FadingSnowFake

FadingSnowFake

Enlightened
Nov 25, 2024
1,549
Been thinking about you, sending love, and truly sorry for all the pain and suffering :hug:
 
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A_Spartan_Dead

A_Spartan_Dead

Life's sick joke is us; death is the punchline.
Dec 17, 2025
98
Man that sucks, very sorry to hear you experienced more suffering.
It's a stupid system we live in; work 2-3 jobs and be homeless while carrying all the personal stuff we all have (pain, bad memories etc) and everything gets more expensive and you get no help, but don't ctb coz we'll put you in a ward.
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
3,232
Damn dude. Had not seen a post from you so I was hoping you finally found peace. I am sorry it is not so. 🫂
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
14,264
It's nice (for us) to see you back here but I'm so sorry for where you're at.
 
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asthedayends00

asthedayends00

flyingtourist
Oct 18, 2024
182
Damn they had ya for 6 weeks, that's terrible. Sometimes it's hard to convince them
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
4,159
I've been locked up in psych for about 6 weeks with no phone. Another failed attempt I don't want to talk about. I'm still as mentally ill as ever. maybe worse. I found a tree in the woods near my house today for fsh. That's my next endeavor. I am in so much mental pain it's unbearable.
such an evil world where they can lock someone up for wanting to escape extreme torture ( i'm talking about me my case as the monsters would lock me up if i fail a suicide attempt for 6 weeks for me only wanting to escape extreme torture: i can't fathom how anyone would want to live in such an evil world where that kind of injustice torture and oppression is accepted. this is one thing that shows we are slaves and prisoners with no say even if we want to move away from extreme suffering , unbearable pain or escape extreme torture.

so they criminalize all guaranteed suicide methods like Nembutal , sarco pod , hiring someone to shoot me etc . then if you fall into a trap of unending constant excruciating unbearable pain you have no guaranteed painless way to move away from unbearable pain all because those monsters decided to make Nembutal a crime. then if you attempt with a brutal risky diy suicide method and fail then they lock you up for 6 weeks to suffer unbearable pain every second for 6 weeks : what kind of evil is this and everyone is ok with it : they say " go enjoy yourself nothing bad will ever happen:" i say bullshit horrible things beyond all imagination can happen to any human any day . i hate life and this world . i
 
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dust-in-the-wind

dust-in-the-wind

Animal Lover
Aug 24, 2024
892
Wondered about you the other day as it has been a while since seeing you post in the kinds of threads you normally would post... Sorry to hear about your experience. It mirrors my own from late last year when I failed and wound up locked away without a phone for a while myself. You had about twice as long as I did though!

I haven't been able to figure out a viable alternate plan since I know my original planned method is a no-go. It's kind of frustrating even having to figure out another plan... but I get you from the standpoint of it being so much harder now than even it was previously.
It's a cold winter where I am. So if I can time it at night when no one can see me I figure I still have hypothermia as a backup plan while unconscious.
Damn they had ya for 6 weeks, that's terrible. Sometimes it's hard to convince them
They kept saying I was a danger to myself.
 
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I

itsgone2

-
Sep 21, 2025
1,022
It's a cold winter where I am. So if I can time it at night when no one can see me I figure I still have hypothermia as a backup plan while unconscious
Oh wow cold here too I've never thought about this. But you're right
 
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Reishi

Reishi

黒い薔薇(The Black Rose)
Jan 5, 2025
1,852
I wish you luck in all of your endeavors hun
 
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Fall_Apart

Fall_Apart

Student
May 22, 2023
160
I've been thinking about you these past few months and wondering if you'd somehow found some sort of balance. I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling. We feel you.
 
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badatparties

badatparties

Mage
Mar 16, 2025
591
JEBUS H FUCK, another failed attempt. You said you were in your 50's right, you should be able to access Pegasos. But i know in your position, you're probably too depressed to even file the paperwork. Can your boyfriend help you?

I wish you peace, and fuck whoever created this planet.
 
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NegevChina

NegevChina

I've done the best I could
Sep 5, 2024
614
Ive noticed your abcense :heart: and it just made this site sadder😢. Im sorry for what youve gone through and wish you a better or more successful year 2026.
 
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dust-in-the-wind

dust-in-the-wind

Animal Lover
Aug 24, 2024
892
JEBUS H FUCK, another failed attempt. You said you were in your 50's right, you should be able to access Pegasos. But i know in your position, you're probably too depressed to even file the paperwork. Can your boyfriend help you?

I wish you peace, and fuck whoever created this planet.
I hear the waiting list is 2-3 years. Do you you know?
 
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E

Exhausted546

Student
Dec 1, 2025
186
I've been locked up in psych for about 6 weeks with no phone. Another failed attempt I don't want to talk about. I'm still as mentally ill as ever. maybe worse. I found a tree in the woods near my house today for fsh. That's my next endeavor. I am in so much mental pain it's unbearable.
24h was unbearable to me, I can't imagine 6 whole fkn weeks
 
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badatparties

badatparties

Mage
Mar 16, 2025
591
I hear the waiting list is 2-3 years. Do you you know?
No, it doesn't work that way. Most people get a VAD date set within like a month of their approval. Most people don't get approved, the vetting process is the bottleneck, not the calendar. No one is going to wait 3 years for a VAD.

Processing time for applications takes like two weeks, that's when they let you know if you're approved, and that 's when you set the VAD date.
 
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ipmanwc0

ipmanwc0

Doctor Sleep
Sep 15, 2023
579
I stayed there involuntarily for almost 4 months it's extremely torturous. still dream about being trapped there sometimes. that trauma alone would be enough to make me want to ctb
 
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E

Exhausted546

Student
Dec 1, 2025
186
I stayed there involuntarily for almost 4 months it's extremely torturous. still dream about being trapped there sometimes. that trauma alone would be enough to make me want to ctb
4 fucking months?! Was it a failed attempt that led you there? Were you caught? Snitched on?

I'm so thankful for my 24h stay. I'm rethinking ctb outside cause I couldn't afford being caught and sent there fore weeks, let alone months
 
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39hatsune

39hatsune

i love you
Dec 9, 2025
55
im sorry about your situation and the way you are feeling, hope it only gets better from here 💗
 
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fadedghost

fadedghost

Student
Dec 10, 2025
160
I've been locked up in psych for about 6 weeks with no phone. Another failed attempt I don't want to talk about. I'm still as mentally ill as ever. maybe worse. I found a tree in the woods near my house today for fsh. That's my next endeavor. I am in so much mental pain it's unbearable.
i'm so sorry

a big part of why they held you so long is they probably sensed your class and figured you could pay for a long stay. they kick out people much much quicker if they are poor

it's never about helping people, it's about money

those place are absolute fucking hell, and if it made you feel 500 times worse, i undertand, as some of the worst dehumanizing hell took place at mental health hospitals.

you should also know your account showed as active prior to today and when I messaged you to say hi, your account showed as active. i don't chat with you much, if ever, but you're one of my favorite people on here from your articulate posts
 
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madwoman

madwoman

what a shame she went mad
May 7, 2025
289
Yes, won't lie my first thought was "I'm glad she's still here" but I know maybe that wouldn't be what you want to hear since I know you don't want to be. And being suicidal myself, I get it. I am sending love, when a big thing like this happens, it's so hard to process it and return to life as it was. I had a mental breakdown during the pandemic where I did go to a psych ward and had psychosis, it was so fucking hard returning back to life and took me a long time to move past that. That was a dark time so I'm sorry you are going through that. My heart is with you. 🫶🏻
 
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B

Baisley

Student
Jan 18, 2025
121
I remember you for sure. I was wondering where u have been, I thought that you got outta this life. I know you have been wanting to for a while now. I am sorry. I am stuck here still too, and I want out , it seems impossible. I hope eventually that u can find peace.
 
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Defenestrator

Defenestrator

Experienced
Jan 17, 2020
292
No, it doesn't work that way. Most people get a VAD date set within like a month of their approval. Most people don't get approved, the vetting process is the bottleneck, not the calendar. No one is going to wait 3 years for a VAD.

Processing time for applications takes like two weeks, that's when they let you know if you're approved, and that 's when you set the VAD date.
I just read their website and you have to have someone who knows you very well to go with you. No exceptions - need proof they've had a relationship with you too and they have to stay for up to 10 days after your death to accept your remains.
 
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badatparties

badatparties

Mage
Mar 16, 2025
591
I just read their website and you have to have someone who knows you very well to go with you. No exceptions - need proof they've had a relationship with you too and they have to stay for up to 10 days after your death to accept your remains.
Can you post a link, i didn't see anything about staying for 10 days in the frequently asked questions. They mail the patients ashes home all the time, so that part seems completely unnecessary.
 
D

dalemar

Experienced
Nov 20, 2025
276
I've been locked up in psych for about 6 weeks with no phone. Another failed attempt I don't want to talk about. I'm still as mentally ill as ever. maybe worse. I found a tree in the woods near my house today for fsh. That's my next endeavor. I am in so much mental pain it's unbearable.
Sorry to hear about those 6 weeks :(
Whatever you decide, I hope everything turns out favorable for you.
 
Raven2

Raven2

Hell is empty and all the devils are here
Dec 1, 2022
504
I wondered how you were doing these days. 6 weeks is such a long time in the ward I hope it wasnt too stressful for you. Sending you a warm hug if you'd like one.
 
A_Spartan_Dead

A_Spartan_Dead

Life's sick joke is us; death is the punchline.
Dec 17, 2025
98
JEBUS H FUCK, another failed attempt. You said you were in your 50's right, you should be able to access Pegasos. But i know in your position, you're probably too depressed to even file the paperwork. Can your boyfriend help you?

I wish you peace, and fuck whoever created this planet.
Rare for Pegasos to do it unless you have serious physical disease that's terminal, but could be.
 

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