Pisceslilith
Student
- Aug 19, 2019
- 159
I have no one and I'm just wondering if anyone wants to talk?
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If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
N33dT0D13
Xe/It
- Apr 2, 2023
- 365
Necrosis
En bokstavelig bjørn som later som om han er menne
- Feb 23, 2023
- 69
Pisceslilith
Student
- Aug 19, 2019
- 159
Same, I realized after so many years after wanting to kms, that I actually want to live but the situation that I am in now makes me want to end it all.
Hiii, how are you?
N33dT0D13
Xe/It
- Apr 2, 2023
- 365
Same honestly, I wanna live and be happy and make others happy, it just seems impossible because of how I am and that's depressing and humiliating and makes me hate myself. I wish... a lot of things honestly lol, I wish I were mentally healthy, I wish I didn't have BPD, I wish I wasn't obnoxious and desperate for attention... I hate myself so much
...I feel bad, I feel like I'm judging other people with BPD. I don't mean to, it just scares me to know I have it. I hated myself anyway before the diagnosis. I hate myself so much...
Pisceslilith
Student
- Aug 19, 2019
- 159
Sorry to hear that, you're not a bad person for having BPD, it's not your fault. I hope you find the right treatment plan for you. I wish I was normal and could live a happy, normal safe life. I'm so tired of my current situation, I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to feel safe for once.Same honestly, I wanna live and be happy and make others happy, it just seems impossible because of how I am and that's depressing and humiliating and makes me hate myself. I wish... a lot of things honestly lol, I wish I were mentally healthy, I wish I didn't have BPD, I wish I wasn't obnoxious and desperate for attention... I hate myself so much
...I feel bad, I feel like I'm judging other people with BPD. I don't mean to, it just scares me to know I have it. I hated myself anyway before the diagnosis. I hate myself so much...
N33dT0D13
Xe/It
- Apr 2, 2023
- 365
Yeah. I wanna believe there's hope for me and other people. It's harder to believe there's hope for me. I wish I could feel secure in literally any relationship/friendship and not let my fears overtake and ruin everything.
MidnightCat
Still 3 more lives to go.
- Jan 1, 2023
- 177
Wanna share the situation? Maybe there's someone who has some good advice (although most of it would probably be pointless... I'm sure a lot of people would like to try and be useful).
I wish I knew why I want to ctb, but I'm "chained to life", I live with my wife, who helps me through my depression and makes almost everything... Quite far from our families.
If I ctb she'll be alone and suffer, so it's better I'm the one that suffers. But I'm worried I can't keep doing it indefinitely.
What about you? What crosses your mind?
Pisceslilith
Student
- Aug 19, 2019
- 159
You're lucky you have someone to turn to, I wish I had that (I don't mean that harshly). I live with relatives who I don't feel safe nor comfortable. I have a lot of trauma caused by them. If I could move tomorrow I would. I'm sorry that you want to ctb. I hope it gets better for you. If you don't mind me asking, how'd you meet your wife?
Valid, I wish the best for you.
gggy
Wishing you the best❤️
- Dec 22, 2023
- 102
Pisceslilith
Student
- Aug 19, 2019
- 159
milquetoast
sometimes the longest rain yields no rainbow
- Aug 21, 2023
- 22
GuessWhosBack
The sun rises to insult me.
- Jul 15, 2024
- 465
MidnightCat
Still 3 more lives to go.
- Jan 1, 2023
- 177
I'm sure you're not gonna say something harsh, don't worry.
I hope you'll find a way to move out and have a better life, life might be cruel but it's not always bad things, you never know what is going to happen tomorrow and it could change your life by 180° degrees, and what is happening today can become a thing of the past.
You seem like a good person, I wish you the best best! Don't give up. Nobody can say things WILL get better, but nobody can say they WILL NOT. So they might be.
As for me... I actually met her playing League (LoL) 10 years ago.
I used to fill the emptiness dating a bunch of girls when I was a teen (not proud of that... But at least I've never cheated or lied to anyone) and made myself pretty known as some kind of playboy. Later on life I tried to redeem myself, but that kind of reputation gets "glued" to you for a long long time. She saw past that, we started living together and... We bought a house 4 years ago.
She met me when I had a little company, put a lot of hours into work to make ends meet while paying for rent/food (and her studies later). I was already depressed, but highly functional. Nowadays I'm more of a shell of what a human being is... And even then she didn't run away (although I'm terrified she might someday, but I don't want her to suffer because of me).
