Venting Her family won’t talk to me

[sadpinky]

My late partners family refuses to make contact with me after her passing because they think I was a contributing factor to her death. I've tried reaching out so many times now that the silence I'm receiving in exchange is absolutely deafening.

keeping in mind that I was with her a few minutes before, found her during her last minutes, was with her until I was removed from the room by Emt, and then against legal advice contacted her family because no one wanted to do so. What else can I do? What should I do before I go to make sure her family knows everything my partner wanted them to know?
they hate me, and I can't blame them. I hate myself for not being there for her.
What would you do?

 

[Life_and_Death]

What should I do before I go to make sure her family knows everything my partner wanted them to know?

your partner requested that you tell her family?

then id send them a letter along the lines of

"i know you probably dont want to hear from me however there are some things i need to tell you that _____ wanted me to inform you of." and then continue the letter with whatever it is she wanted you to tell them. or if you think possible and feel it better request a meeting.

you only mentioned reaching out and not how so it sounds like they might not know what its about. and if you put it in the letter then you would have told them and informed them about who its from, its up to them whether they want to know what follows or not, but the options there.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Try not to take it personally. People get pissed etc after someone exits. It's not your fault whatever happened with your partner.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Doesn't sound like your problem, if they don't want to talk they don't want to talk.

 

[sadpinky]

Doesn't sound like your problem, if they don't want to talk they don't want to talk.

Her family , as distant as they've always been towards me are the last remaining link I have to her. I would want nothing more in this fucked world than to hug her sister and tell her how much I loved her.

 

[Worndown]

They must feel like someone is to blame and they chose you. Nothing you can do about it. Grief and rational thought are seldom together.
Remember her and carry on as best you can. That is all any of us can do.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I would want nothing more in this fucked world than to hug her sister and tell her how much I loved her.

Why (sorry, I am literally autistic)?

 

[sadpinky]

Why (sorry, I am literally autistic)?

No worries, her sister looks an awful lot like my partner. I didn't get to go to her funeral, I didn't get any of her ashes, I wasn't even acknowledged in the memorial service. It was like the last year of my life with her didn't ever exist. And that's mainly my fault for never engaging with her family. If I could see her sister again, I'd hug her, tell her how much I loved her sister, how sorry I am, and that if she'd like stories or to take a walk throughout our favorite places in DC I'd be honored to do so.
I guess in all honesty, I just want to hug her because she looks so much like her, and I miss her to death. To the point where I'm almost ready to go find her.

that's why. I hope it helped

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I hope it helped

I am no longer suicidal, thank you for this.