help

[DepressedAngel]

hey guys, i know i haven't posted in a while... i was starting to get better, and i honestly thought i was "cured" of depression haha. anyways, i don't do well with isolation, and since corona is isolating me from the people i love, i can feel depression starting to creep back in. last night i started crying because i feel like i try and give everyone the world, and no one cares about giving me the same energy or attention back. i know i shouldn't rely on other people, its just hard... so yeah, i felt like shit, and i decided to cut again. this is always how it starts, is i start cutting and then become very suicidal and plan to kill myself... i'm just so scared to go back to that place again. it terrifies me. if you guys could offer any support, or ways that you keep from hurting yourself, or even just activities you do... i don't know. i'm sorry i sound stupid. anything you guys could offer would help me a ton. sending love and hugs to everyone in situations like this

 

[Hollow Point]

Times are tough right now and you don't sound stupid. A good distraction is what I think we all need. I'm guessing you dont already have a hobby to fill your time with? I personally like writing in all forms. It's nice to get your thoughts and feelings down on something you can pick up and read later. Have you ever kept a journal or tried writing a story or song?

 

[DepressedAngel]

Times are tough right now and you don't sound stupid. A good distraction is what I think we all need. I'm guessing you dont already have a hobby to fill your time with? I personally like writing in all forms. It's nice to get your thoughts and feelings down on something you can pick up and read later. Have you ever kept a journal or tried writing a story or song?

I actually have a ton of hobbies and writing is one of them. But nothing is helping...

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

I feel for you I'm in a bit of a cutting relapse myself currently. It's never for certain that I can resist the urges but some things kind of help sometimes. Listening to music, painting, sketching, singing, playing piano, cleaning, watching movies, writing poetry, exercising, and baking are all ways that I try to resist the urges. Last night the urges were so loud but I just came here to talk and I sketched a bit and I didn't end up cutting. Feel free to send me a PM if the urges get to be unbearable. I'd be happy to distract you from your urges :)

P.S. @CuddleHug just shared a tip with me that I should try splashing my face with ice cold water next time I get urges. She said it helps and maybe it could help you

 

[DepressedAngel]

I feel for you I'm in a bit of a cutting relapse myself currently. It's never for certain that I can resist the urges but some things kind of help sometimes. Listening to music, painting, sketching, singing, playing piano, cleaning, watching movies, writing poetry, exercising, and baking are all ways that I try to resist the urges. Last night the urges were so loud but I just came here to talk and I sketched a bit and I didn't end up cutting. Feel free to send me a PM if the urges get to be unbearable. I'd be happy to distract you from your urges :)

P.S. @CuddleHug just shared a tip with me that I should try splashing my face with ice cold water next time I get urges. She said it helps and maybe it could help you

Thank you so much! Sending love

 

[timf]

Have you tried vitamins or supplements. Since most of them do nothing, I have found them generally not too dangerous, however, one should research them carefully and if experimenting, try very small doses first. I have read that Fava beans can provide an increase in dopamine which might moderate some symptoms of depression.

 

[DepressedAngel]

Have you tried vitamins or supplements. Since most of them do nothing, I have found them generally not too dangerous, however, one should research them carefully and if experimenting, try very small doses first. I have read that Fava beans can provide an increase in dopamine which might moderate some symptoms of depression.

im on meds and supplements right now. it feels like maybe i'm just not a good enough person to get better...

 

[timf]

One problem with depression is that it is so debillitating that one can feel that no experiment would be worthwhile.

There is a supplement called SAMe (S-adenosyl-L-methionine). It is used frequently in Europe for depression as a prescribed drug. However, it is available over the counter in the US.

This has been a life saver for my wife who has dealt with RLS (restless leg syndrome) her whole life. It seems strange that a depression supplement would be effective for this problem, however, she has been using it for about 10 years now.

What I have read about it is that there are some people who have a methyl deficiency that this can compensate for. It seems that there are over 200 chemical processes in the body that use this chemical as an intermediate step. It is supposed to be taken with vitamin B6 also.

You may want to research this as there is a lot of information about it on the Internet. Experimentation can be discouraging if nothing seems to work. However, if you can find something that works, it can make all the difference.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

It's entirely possible that some cases of depression may be caused by the fact that we eat a load of crap and simply lack the micronutrients needed for a healthy metabolism.

 

[suffocatingseraphim]

I am sending my love and well wishes <3 you don't sound stupid at all, and I think it's courageous to want to take the step forward to reach out. That's never an easy thing to do.

The world is in a weird space right now, to put it lightly, and I can definitely empathize with feeling depression and urges to relapse resurfacing (with cutting and w suicide.)
I have a few things, as far as advice goes that have helped me out!!
As far as relapsing goes, the way my therapist has me view recovery, is that it's more like a scribble than a circle.

The path on recovery constantly changes and warps, sometimes it repeats, but it changes as we do. Cutting again is never an easy scenario to deal with mentally, but, it doesn't mean you've stopped recovering or getting better. Sometimes we crave what we found comfort in, even if it hurts us significantly. I relapsed recently, too, and it doesn't mean you're on the wrong path <3

Whenever I get strong urges to cut, I try to go to anything that's very cold to distract my nerves. I.e holding a cold pack to where you want to cut for prolonged periods, holding ice cubes, splashing your face or arms with very cold water, etc.

Rubber bands on the wrist have helped out a bit before to curb the immediate pain response for a bit, but, be careful w those! They can bruise sometimes, so I try to use them lightly.

I know everyone and their dog has been talking about establishing a routine in quarentine, but it's definitely harder if you have depression, or if you're neuro divergent.
What has helped me out, is to just find one comforting thing a day to keep me company. Be it making tea, gaming, drawing, etc, whatever will keep you occupied.

It's okay to have bad days right now, too. You're okay to feel stress and fear, and it's okay to take time away from the news or from people to just focus on you. That's not a selfish thing, if you want to work on your state of wellbeing.

I've been on the path of recovery for a few years now, but actively since early 2019.
It takes a lot of patience sometimes, but, I can tell just by reading your post that you've got an amazing heart, and determination to match, even with all of the pain you're experiencing.

I still relapse, I still lean into wanting to ctb, but, I am still getting better day by day.
I'm hoping that things can go up for you, my friend <3

 

[DepressedAngel]

I am sending my love and well wishes <3 you don't sound stupid at all, and I think it's courageous to want to take the step forward to reach out. That's never an easy thing to do.

The world is in a weird space right now, to put it lightly, and I can definitely empathize with feeling depression and urges to relapse resurfacing (with cutting and w suicide.)
I have a few things, as far as advice goes that have helped me out!!
As far as relapsing goes, the way my therapist has me view recovery, is that it's more like a scribble than a circle.

The path on recovery constantly changes and warps, sometimes it repeats, but it changes as we do. Cutting again is never an easy scenario to deal with mentally, but, it doesn't mean you've stopped recovering or getting better. Sometimes we crave what we found comfort in, even if it hurts us significantly. I relapsed recently, too, and it doesn't mean you're on the wrong path <3

Whenever I get strong urges to cut, I try to go to anything that's very cold to distract my nerves. I.e holding a cold pack to where you want to cut for prolonged periods, holding ice cubes, splashing your face or arms with very cold water, etc.

Rubber bands on the wrist have helped out a bit before to curb the immediate pain response for a bit, but, be careful w those! They can bruise sometimes, so I try to use them lightly.

I know everyone and their dog has been talking about establishing a routine in quarentine, but it's definitely harder if you have depression, or if you're neuro divergent.
What has helped me out, is to just find one comforting thing a day to keep me company. Be it making tea, gaming, drawing, etc, whatever will keep you occupied.

It's okay to have bad days right now, too. You're okay to feel stress and fear, and it's okay to take time away from the news or from people to just focus on you. That's not a selfish thing, if you want to work on your state of wellbeing.

I've been on the path of recovery for a few years now, but actively since early 2019.
It takes a lot of patience sometimes, but, I can tell just by reading your post that you've got an amazing heart, and determination to match, even with all of the pain you're experiencing.

I still relapse, I still lean into wanting to ctb, but, I am still getting better day by day.
I'm hoping that things can go up for you, my friend <3

your post made me cry, thank you so much. i can completely relate and i just want you to know how proud i am of you for trying to get better. PM me if you ever want to talk :) sending love and hugs

 

[suffocatingseraphim]

I hope it may have helped a bit, and thank you so much. The same goes to you!! I'm not active terribly much, but, I am always open for a talk c: sending my well wishes and love to you!!