Help with overcoming isolation, fear, anxiety, and lack of self-care

[downndone2]

I've literally been I'm absolute crisis for a while lately. Can't sleep, can't leave house, not showering, fear and anxiety is overfuckingwhelming.
Anyone else struggle with isolation, unable to leave, and self-care due to anxiety and depression?
If so, how have you overcome it to work?

 

[Seven Threads]

Hey there, downndone2. I wish I had some good advice for you about how to overcome these things, but honestly I'm still trying to figure that out myself. I don't really have too much in the way of anxiety issues, but the depression is seriously paralyzing at times, and that's before the autism and adhd pile on top of it. I don't have it as bad as some (I can hold down a job, at least, and I do go out to see friends and family about...oh, once a month or so), but any and all sense of drive or motivation tends to shut down for anything that isn't immediately urgent or necessary. Like my sink. It's had the same load of dishes soaking in it for...nine months, I think? Maybe longer? It's all rusted over and if I ever do manage to dredge up the gumption to tackle it, I'll probably just have to throw most of it away.

To practically answer your question though, unintuitive as it may be, I've found that giving myself permission not to overcome these things often helps, at least a little bit. There's this sense of pressure, all the time, that I need to get things done, I need to be better. It feels like all the tasks and responsibilities I put off and avoid are skyscrapers, and they're all falling down all at once and crushing me. It's like I can't breathe sometimes. But oddly enough, when I give myself permission to accept that most days are gonna be bad days, and I'm just not gonna be able to break out of my shell for the most part, that pressure lifts a little. It's when I let go of the sense that I need to dig my way out that I sometimes find this second wind which allows me to make progress. I don't really know how to explain it, other than to say that the days in which I manage to work through the paralysis are the ones in which I don't blame myself for letting it take me in the first place. I don't know if this helps or if it would work for you, in no small part because I have little experience with anxiety and no real idea how it might alter that dynamic, but this has been my experience.

 

[downndone2]

The anxiety is what locks me up inside the most. I don't want to experience the physical symptoms of it and fear having a noticeable panic attack in public. I was able to break the cycle for months in 2022 but now it's come back badly. I am supposed to start this full time job in a few weeks and can't get out of bed or in the shower most days. I have had these issues on and off for several yrs. I previously worked remotely but no longer have that jib. I'm very afraid I'm going to blow this job quickly

 

[missingpeace]

I think you should call in for some outside help, is there a family member/relative who can come and assist? Or some kind of medical carer? If your having mental blocks for some time now I don't know if you can get past it all by yourself.

 

[Seven Threads]

I think you should call in for some outside help, is there a family member/relative who can come and assist? Or some kind of medical carer? If your having mental blocks for some time now I don't know if you can get past it all by yourself.

This. Very much this. Having another person to help support you with basic tasks, or even just be there with you, can be so helpful. Body doubling works for a lot of people. I know this doesn't exactly help you once you're in a work environment at your new job, but at home, having thay second person can be a lifesaver.

In the event that you don't have anyone in your personal life you could rely on for that, I know there are informal services and places where you could find an online body double. Heck, you might even have success trying to find one here.

 

[downndone2]

I think you should call in for some outside help, is there a family member/relative who can come and assist? Or some kind of medical carer? If your having mental blocks for some time now I don't know if you can get past it all by yourself.

No, no one can help and no insurance.
I feel my only answer is just ctb.

 

[Seven Threads]

No, no one can help and no insurance.

Honestly I'd make a thread in the recovery section asking for someone willing to sit with you in a discord call or similar and just talk to you/keep you company while you try to accomplish some basic self care tasks. This is a fairly compassionate community, it's quite possible someone here would be willing to do that for you.

 

[Truth1234]

I was in a similar situation. what helped me:
-having a strict routine
-talking to my imaginary friend (in this case) my stuffed toy who forces me to go through the routine
-walks in nature, breathing exercises to help with anxiety
-keeping myself distracted with books, podcasts
-sticking to healthy unprocessed foods

 

[downndone2]

And all of this anxiety stems from me quite literally ruining my life several yrs ago. Business, marriage, relationships, tons of money... so much damage done I feel ctb on the horizon, I just don't think I can stay here much longer. Everything is a trigger, literally everything...

 

[Pancake]

I'm only a student so I'm not sure how much I can say... But I've been struggling with similar things for the past few years. I really don't want to do much but sleep. If I stay awake I feel anxious about all the things to come. I'm surrounded by peers but still have no one to talk to. I've let myself think that this is fine and it certainly lets off a lot of the pressure, until I remember all my problems have stem from me. I hurt so many people, especially the people I love and I can't forgive myself for that.

I wish I could convey how hard it is to find help, but I'm not very good with words. There are lots of resources, sure, but I'm afraid that I'll waste my diminishing energy on something that won't help, or worse, make me feel even more anxious. And besides, I don't think I deserve much help anyway. Maybe you feel the same way?

I've tried a lot of things to help break the cycle of procrastination and self-deprecation, but I lack the motivation and energy to stick with them. I found one thing that works for me though, and it's to do something easy to start and easy to finish. Something I feel I like I can have without feeling like I don't deserve it. For me, that's cleaning my room. At the very least I'll allow myself to be clean. Clean my sheets, the dust, the bin, and my desk. Then maybe, after having accomplished something, the doubt will clear enough for me to do at least a little work without being crushed by anxiety.

I'm sorry if this doesn't help. I'm struggling too. I hope you get through this because I'd like to as well.

 

[StillBreathing]

No, no one can help and no insurance.
I feel my only answer is just ctb.

You don't need anyone else. Also, don't beat yourself down over things that happened in the past, it is done and over with.

I can recommend going to sleep early and getting up before anyone else. Like 4am in the morning early.
Go outside for a small walk, or just stand outside breathing the fresh air for 10 minutes. It is incredible how much this can change your day. The trick is you have to do this before anything else. If you sit down in front of the computer or TV, chances are you'll be stuck there and you won't do anything productive.

Do this everyday, even in the weekends. If you are like me and your social life is pretty non existent it is easy to do, it doesn't really matter when I go to sleep or wake
up, I have no obligations except from work.