Help Please

[maggot666]

Hi
I really need someone to talk to I am so low I can't concentrate on anything at all it is driving me crazy and I feel so lonely it's overwhelming. I have SN but none of the other pills to make it easier but I need to go I can't be here anymore. I tried cutting myself but it gave me no relief whatsoever. I have nowhere to hang myself from I tried just tying a belt around my neck last night and laying their cos I saw a video once of a girl who did that and died but nothing.
I was living in a women's refuge till 3 weeks ago then I left and moved in with a guy I met off the internet I started talking to him in January and he was there for me so much like we would video chat for at least 4 hours every day and when I was having a particularly bad episode he would be there sometimes till the early hours of the morning. Since I have moved in with him he ignores me all day so I have been going out drinking every day and I walked to the next town cos this place is tiny and met a guy there and have been scoring heroin and crack pretty much every day for like the past 5 days he doesn't know that he would kick me out if he knew. But when I come back he says why am I doing this to him then today when it was time for me to go to the chemist to pick up my methadone script he said he's coming with me, cos that's when I usually fuck off after for like 4 or 5 hours. So today I have stayed in and he is ignoring me so why the fuck does he give a shit if I am out drinking all day if he is ignoring me anyway. Going out has been the only thing keeping me a bit sane.
Its 1 am now and he is usually in bed by now I know he is still awake cos he thinks I might try and kill myself I just know that's why so why ignore me.
I bought SN the second I moved in with this guy I never could when I was at the refuge because your post is opened there before you get it he has no clue I have it I take it everywhere with me but I don't have the pills that you should take with it but the way things are looking I can't cope with being here any longer tonight is obviously out of the question as he is still awake so I am thinking of taking it tomorrow or Saturday I can buy some heartburn meds from the chemist then, then that leaves me a little bit of money to score a bag of heroin I have 5 Mirtazapine 30mg pills as well what they give me for my depression which isn't even my dose I usually get 45mg but the doctor here wouldn't give me that, I have about 50 Co-dydramol pills as well don't know if these things will help at all.
I miss my ex so much when I was at the refuge I was kept busy with the other residents we would have a laugh in the day and then I would talk to this guy when I was in my room and was kind of on and off talking to my ex so it hasn't really hit me till now that I do still love him and that on top of everything is just too much to deal with.
Sorry if this post is all rambling my head is everywhere right now I feel so alone dumbest move ever moving 100's of miles away from everyone I know. Also if I stayed in the refuge I would have been housed at the end of my stay now I'm homeless

 

[Cedi]

Why cant you go back home to everyone you know?

 

[jgm63]

If you wanted a general chat, etc, my PM box is open....

SN related info :
Buccastem (a brand of prochlorperazine) is available "over the counter" in the UK.
It's a viable antiemetic alternative to metoclopramide.
More info here :
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/n-protocol-regime-regimen-notes.27092/post-568550

It is possible to use SN on it's own, without any antiemetic.
Some general notes I have :
Some members have vomited, but still been successful. In the cases where people vomited it doesn't appear they drank any more SN, yet they still appeared to succeed, although the recommendation is to have a couple of extra glasses ready, and to drink more in the event of vomiting. If you vomit very soon after drinking, then drinking more would be considered required.

OTHER OPTIONAL THINGS :

PAINKILLERS
Paracetamol or Ibuprofen. You should be able to find these over-the-counter.

H2 BLOCKER / ANTACID
You should be able to find these over-the-counter.
H2 blockers : Tagamet (Cimetidine) / Zantac (Ranitidine), or supermarket own brands of cimetidine / ranitidine. Pepcid may also be suitable (though I haven't confirmed or researched).
Antacid : Ideally, get an antacid containing magnesium hydroxide. Example options : Mylanta, milk of magnesia, Kremil-S.
Other options : Maalox, Rennie, Tums.
Many people seem to go with Tagamet or Zantac, so you could just go with one of those.

DIPHENHYDRAMINE
50 mg of diphenhydramine can be used to treat EPS symptoms that some people get from taking anti-emetics. EPS are not very common, but could be quite disturbing if you do get them, so some people may wish to have diphenhydramine on standby. For the UK, Diphenhydramine would be available as Nytol. You should be able to find these over-the-counter or online. Look for something with "diphenhydramine" on the label, eg google for "nytol diphenhydramine". Some variants of those products don't contain diphenhydramine, so check.


Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. With the right help things can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

 

[maggot666]

Why cant you go back home to everyone you know?

Because no where to stay I can't stay with my Mum she gets drunk and then goes on about when I was sexually abused when I was younger all the time. I have one friend I could stay with but that would mean I would be skint all the time and bang on the crack and heroin everyday and will have to provide for her habit and her boyfriends

If you wanted a general chat, etc, my PM box is open....

SN related info :
Buccastem (a brand of prochlorperazine) is available "over the counter" in the UK.
It's a viable antiemetic alternative to metoclopramide.
More info here :
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/n-protocol-regime-regimen-notes.27092/post-568550

It is possible to use SN on it's own, without any antiemetic.
Some general notes I have :
Some members have vomited, but still been successful. In the cases where people vomited it doesn't appear they drank any more SN, yet they still appeared to succeed, although the recommendation is to have a couple of extra glasses ready, and to drink more in the event of vomiting. If you vomit very soon after drinking, then drinking more would be considered required.

OTHER OPTIONAL THINGS :

PAINKILLERS
Paracetamol or Ibuprofen. You should be able to find these over-the-counter.

H2 BLOCKER / ANTACID
You should be able to find these over-the-counter.
H2 blockers : Tagamet (Cimetidine) / Zantac (Ranitidine), or supermarket own brands of cimetidine / ranitidine. Pepcid may also be suitable (though I haven't confirmed or researched).
Antacid : Ideally, get an antacid containing magnesium hydroxide. Example options : Mylanta, milk of magnesia, Kremil-S.
Other options : Maalox, Rennie, Tums.
Many people seem to go with Tagamet or Zantac, so you could just go with one of those.

DIPHENHYDRAMINE
50 mg of diphenhydramine can be used to treat EPS symptoms that some people get from taking anti-emetics. EPS are not very common, but could be quite disturbing if you do get them, so some people may wish to have diphenhydramine on standby. For the UK, Diphenhydramine would be available as Nytol. You should be able to find these over-the-counter or online. Look for something with "diphenhydramine" on the label, eg google for "nytol diphenhydramine". Some variants of those products don't contain diphenhydramine, so check.


Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. With the right help things can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

Thankyou so much for this, It helps a great deal I was worried about not having any of the pills

 

[jgm63]

Because no where to stay I can't stay with my Mum she gets drunk and then goes on about when I was sexually abused when I was younger all the time. I have one friend I could stay with but that would mean I would be skint all the time and bang on the crack and heroin everyday and will have to provide for her habit and her boyfriends

Thankyou so much for this, It helps a great deal I was worried about not having any of the pills

Very pleased I was able to help in some small way.
If I can provide any other help then let me know.

I really hope and pray some sort of solution can come to you regarding the accomodation side of things, so that perhaps you could take your time a bit more, and not rush any decisions.....
I wonder if you were able to quieten your mind, and just go within whether some idea might come to you for a solution.....

 

[I’mDone]

Ironically I have metoclopramide but my source for SN has run out and no idea when more will be available. :(

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Because no where to stay I can't stay with my Mum she gets drunk and then goes on about when I was sexually abused when I was younger all the time. I have one friend I could stay with but that would mean I would be skint all the time and bang on the crack and heroin everyday and will have to provide for her habit and her boyfriends

Thankyou so much for this, It helps a great deal I was worried about not having any of the pills

Im not sure about your situation, school, work or whatever... Have you considered Emmaus? My son lives there, it did so much for him..