Hello newbie here

[darkworld15]

Hi everyone. I've been lurking for a month so I figured I'd join and introduce myself. I'm a 42 year old female, and have had suicidal thoughts off and on since I was 14. Things were much worse back then but I'm bolder about death now so I'm actually more likely to do it.

To name just some of the things I struggle with - I have ADHD, OCD, a SUPER dysfunctional family, abusive relationships and alcoholism behind me, and a spotty job record due to focusing problems. I'm also starting to strongly suspect I have bipolar 2.

The bad memories of my past won't leave me alone and I think they contribute a great deal to my anxiety and sporadic depression. I'm currently living with my parents and don't have a single friend, just acquaintances. I'm thrilled this forum exists, and that practical solutions for suicidal people are being discussed.

I don't think all suicidal people should do it but a safe, certain way to go is so much better than attempts that can just harm people. Well that's it for now. I'm not currently suicidal but that could change any moment.

 

[any%]

Welcome <3

Well, I hope you find drive and passion in your life and wont turn suicidal soon, but whatever will be will be. And if it is going to be suicide you have a huge source of "how do i do it" in 100 different ways by looking through SS and talking to other members on here.
I am 27 but I might as well be gone, yet here I am... (wonder if I will make it to 40)

hugs & love
-any percent

 

[darkworld15]

I don't know how to edit but that should say "how effed up I was THEN". Well gotta run. I need to keep looking for a job GROAN
I wrote you a response but all I see is my response correcting something I said in it. I'm doing this on my cell phone. I shouldn't write again til I can get on a computer.

 

[Rachel74]

Hello and welcome