Venting Hello and goodbye // silly CTB letter thing

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

I write this with a belt around my neck attached to a faucet, an aching heart and a disillusioned mind. Sometimes I feel as if I was supposed to pass away years ago but somehow cheated death without realising and now the universe chases after me and throws constant chaos at me to try and get me to finally croak. Silly, I know, but regardless, you win universe. I fucking give up. I truly am the most vile specimen to have ever cursed this planet and I can't wait to be gone. I am an irritant and a burden to everyone and have been since my conception. I truly do wish I had just ended it earlier like numerous years earlier so i wouldn't have to watch everything fall apart so awfully. I put my "notification of resignation" in for my job today and there is gonna be a meeting about it next Tuesday that's supposed to rectify things but I have little confidence honestly. That'll be my third job so far and I'm only 18 and no I haven't lasted more than a couple months at either of them. I'm much too weary to go into everything fully but I just feel so trapped and so suffocated and want out so badly. i postponed my plans last year and could have gone then but decided not to in case things got better. they haven't. idk anymore. i can barely even get supplies anymore due to the shitty geography of where i live now so gotta make do with what i have. maybe i go today, perhaps tomorrow. all i know is that i'm simply not cut out for the "real world" and deserve to die so everyone can move on with their lives and not have to deal with my uselessness any longer. right now i'm just kinda having some final fun with this body by dressing up a bit, perhaps doing my makeup before the decomposition process begins and in a couple thousand years it ceases to be.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

I can assure you, despite what you think of yourself, you are not a burden on anyone. Many of us here can relate to these thoughts.

You are 18 years old, you have only just reached adulthood, and I can tell you that things can get better.

Life is incredibly tough, you need extra support. We are here for you

I know I can't change your mind, but I can tell you that your passing will not unburden those that you think you're a burden to, it will have the opposite effect, and it will crush them.

You deserve better than to take your life at such a young age. You are important in this life

I really hope you reach out to someone in your life, and your pain eases. I promise it can get better.

 

[rozeske]

I hope you can find ways to enjoy and live your life just for you. Wish you the best.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you make the right decisions for you. Things can get better, you should give it a chance. You deserve better!!