Venting Having to lie to therapists

[valentine]

I saw a new therapist today, honestly really regret going. I'm gonna lose it if one more person tries to make a "safety plan" with me.

Anyway, is anyone else frustrated with having to lie to everyone about your suicidal thoughts? I wish I could honestly tell someone about my plans to ctb but I don't want to get hospitalized. I know they're required to report it and I understand why, it's just so hard to feel like I can't tell anyone how I'm feeling.

 

[Soul]

That's what we're here for.
It's tiresome putting on a performance all the time. But you can come here and tell us.

 

[Jean Améry]

It's 'safety' for them, not you. It's called 'covering one's ass'. In case you CTB or try to they can show they took all the proper 'precautions' and they weren't to blame/can't be held liable in a court of law.

Of course it's an extremely demeaning and childish practice. Safety plan': how old are you, 12?

Luckily I never faced such a clown but if it were to happen I'd mock them to their face. 'These morons really do seem to think suicide is something that just happens out of the blue, it's something the person has no control over and it certainly isn't a conscious, possibly extremely rational decision.

Imo so called 'mental health professionals' are either complete idiots (if they were halfway smart they would have found a career in a respectable, scientifcally valid or at least intellectually honest field) or deeply disturbed themselves. They're drawn to mental and emotional suffering like flies to shit. They feed on it (it's their livelihood) yet produce no real value: cures are a pipedream in the mental health field and actual pain management seems to consist of doling out antipsychotics like they were candy (dulling one's consciousness to the point of turning a person into a zombie) and all sorts of chemical rubbish that solves nothing and usually comes with nasty side-effects which can be permanent. At best they can show some empathy and help through meaningful conversations. Which is something virtually anyone can do as it does not require a specific degree or specialized training.

Of course this is just my opinion based on extensive reading about the subject in combination with my own experience and others' but if you think they could be helpful by all means go for it. I'm a firm believer in the principle that each individual knows what's best for them.

 

[Severen]

No because I avoid people like therapists like the plague. I have nothing to gain from them. They wouldn't know how to provide me with therapy because my mind is completely alien compared to most people. And if you have bad luck, you might have to deal with a therapist who picked that job so they can have people committed to a psych ward for laughs.

 

[21Neberg]

Since I'm the one paying for it, I decided to be 100% honest during my conversations with psychiatrists / psychologists. I told them about my previous attempts and current plans. So now I'm getting sent to the ward too, in a week roughly.

Maybe it's for the better. I started this whole treatment thing to give life one last chance, if the team of professionals think that this is what I need then I'll give it a try. Maybe you should look at things the same way? I feel that if you're not honest, you might as well stop going.

 

[lululoo]

It's 'safety' for them, not you. It's called 'covering one's ass'. In case you CTB or try to they can show they took all the proper 'precautions' and they weren't to blame/can't be held liable in a court of law.

Of course it's an extremely demeaning and childish practice. Safety plan': how old are you, 12?

Luckily I never faced such a clown but if it were to happen I'd mock them to their face. 'These morons really do seem to think suicide is something that just happens out of the blue, it's something the person has no control over and it certainly isn't a conscious, possibly extremely rational decision.

Imo so called 'mental health professionals' are either complete idiots (if they were halfway smart they would have found a career in a respectable, scientifcally valid or at least intellectually honest field) or deeply disturbed themselves. They're drawn to mental and emotional suffering like flies to shit. They feed on it (it's their livelihood) yet produce no real value: cures are a pipedream in the mental health field and actual pain management seems to consist of doling out antipsychotics like they were candy (dulling one's consciousness to the point of turning a person into a zombie) and all sorts of chemical rubbish that solves nothing and usually comes with nasty side-effects which can be permanent. At best they can show some empathy and help through meaningful conversations. Which is something virtually anyone can do as it does not require a specific degree or specialized training.

Of course this is just my opinion based on extensive reading about the subject in combination with my own experience and others' but if you think they could be helpful by all means go for it. I'm a firm believer in the principle that each individual knows what's best for them.

Having been raised by a mental health professional, I completely agree. He is a depressed, narcissistic, angry asshole. He had a bad childhood and so the mental health field appealed to him, to "figure it all out." He think he knows everything as far as everyone's interior thoughts and motivations. He informed me of what I was thinking and feeling, but was wrong 99% of the time. He took out all his rage on his family and treated his patients like his precious babies. I got screamed at almost daily for things I hadn't done. He occasionally hit us too. (As a girl, for me it was just spanking).

It would take me pages to fully explain how messed up he is.

My experience with therapists I've gone to is pretty bad too.

Despite all this, I will say I think some people can benefit from therapy and there are some ok therapists. But the majority have issues that drew them to the field. The only one I had that didn't have issues was pretty shallow and stupid, so that isn't helpful either.

 

[Jean Améry]

Since I'm the one paying for it, I decided to be 100% honest during my conversations with psychiatrists / psychologists. I told them about my previous attempts and current plans. So now I'm getting sent to the ward too, in a week roughly.

Bold move. I hope it works out for you.

Personally I have zero confidence in people like that and based on the sound principle of never making the same mistake again I will never place my trust in their hands again. That being said if you consider trusting them the only alternative to CTB it's probably not a bad idea to try it. The placebo-effect is real after all.

Despite all this, I will say I think some people can benefit from therapy and there are some ok therapists.

It's a well known fact humans are a social species and generally benefit from talking about their lives/problems and expressing their emotions to a friendly ,sympathetic person. The only problem is that therapists consider themselves specialists who only acquired their expertise through years of academic study and training.

Thid is simply untrue: 'psychotherapy' is nothing more than social interaction and all that is needed is a reasonable IQ, a slightly higher EQ and the willingness to listen and act interested.

Case in point: I used to see a humanistic counselor (she worked for a humanistic/free thought organization which in my country is sponsored by the government like the major religions) and she majored in philosophy and had no special training in psychotherapy. She was respectful, listened attentively and offered her honest opinion without any psychobabble or innane theories that don't hold water. The result: I began to trust her and these talks helped. I even told her I seriously considered suicide and she replied like any decent, open-minded, intelligent individual with a heart would: she encouraged me to explore the issue further, she told me she firmly believed in every individual's right to self-determination and said she would be sad if I'd do it. She helped me through some very difficult times when I had no-one else to talk to and confide in. I love her for it, I really do. She treated me like a human-being and not a test subject that had to be analyzed by the standard of some dogmatic ideology.

If that organization hadn't stopped offering these services I would still be going there.

 

[whyidon'tknow]

Safety plans (imo) are for those who have suicidal ideation and thoughts but activly want to change their situation and have. They aren't for everyone, certainly not for me.

 

[inconsequential]

I just don't go to therapy. When I did, I was open with them about everything, and they never knew what to do. They knew throwing me in psych wouldn't stop my suicidal ideation. Hell, my therapist knew I was a heroin addict & when I asked for help, he asked if I was overdosing. I said no, and he said he didn't think it was a huge problem. I've had other therapists say that if they had my life, they'd do more drugs. I made one female therapist cry.

Fuck therapy. It's expensive faux-friendship.

 

[Jean Améry]

Fuck therapy. It's expensive faux-friendship.

Very well put. That's exactly what therapy is: establishing a make-belief connection at X dollar/euro/whatever an hour and milking it for all it's worth. It's about as innane as visiting a prostitute and expecting to get love instead of sex.

In fact one could view therapy as emotional prostitution. While it's impossible to summon up empathy towards someone let alone genuinly liking them. The best therapists are probably those who genuinly like you and actually care about you just like the best prostitutes will probably be those who are aroused by you/find you physically attractive.

Imo the only people who are worth talking to about one's problems are those who have been through the same shit. Otherwise you simply will not understand, no matter how hard you try or pretend to understand.

 

[valentine]

It's 'safety' for them, not you. It's called 'covering one's ass'. In case you CTB or try to they can show they took all the proper 'precautions' and they weren't to blame/can't be held liable in a court of law.

Of course it's an extremely demeaning and childish practice. Safety plan': how old are you, 12?

Luckily I never faced such a clown but if it were to happen I'd mock them to their face. 'These morons really do seem to think suicide is something that just happens out of the blue, it's something the person has no control over and it certainly isn't a conscious, possibly extremely rational decision.

Imo so called 'mental health professionals' are either complete idiots (if they were halfway smart they would have found a career in a respectable, scientifcally valid or at least intellectually honest field) or deeply disturbed themselves. They're drawn to mental and emotional suffering like flies to shit. They feed on it (it's their livelihood) yet produce no real value: cures are a pipedream in the mental health field and actual pain management seems to consist of doling out antipsychotics like they were candy (dulling one's consciousness to the point of turning a person into a zombie) and all sorts of chemical rubbish that solves nothing and usually comes with nasty side-effects which can be permanent. At best they can show some empathy and help through meaningful conversations. Which is something virtually anyone can do as it does not require a specific degree or specialized training.

Of course this is just my opinion based on extensive reading about the subject in combination with my own experience and others' but if you think they could be helpful by all means go for it. I'm a firm believer in the principle that each individual knows what's best for them.

Thanks for your input, I'm glad someone feels the same way I do. All my experiences with mental health treatment have been a joke, completely demeaning and dehumanizing. Everyone keeps telling me I'll find the "right" therapist but I doubt it.

 

[Jean Améry]

Thanks for your input, I'm glad someone feels the same way I do. All my experiences with mental health treatment have been a joke, completely demeaning and dehumanizing. Everyone keeps telling me I'll find the "right" therapist but I doubt it.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Obviously my experiences with the 'mental health' system weren't great either: I think it's largely due to the stupid quest to objectify the subjective which is of course is doomed to failure from the get-go. Everyone's problems are different so why would it be helpful to lump them together into neat categories?

You can express how you feel here without judgement or condescention. Perhaps that could offer you some relief. It's totally safe, anonymous and free.

 

[lululoo]

Bold move. I hope it works out for you.

Personally I have zero confidence in people like that and based on the sound principle of never making the same mistake again I will never place my trust in their hands again. That being said if you consider trusting them the only alternative to CTB it's probably not a bad idea to try it. The placebo-effect is real after all.


It's a well known fact humans are a social species and generally benefit from talking about their lives/problems and expressing their emotions to a friendly ,sympathetic person. The only problem is that therapists consider themselves specialists who only acquired their expertise through years of academic study and training.

Thid is simply untrue: 'psychotherapy' is nothing more than social interaction and all that is needed is a reasonable IQ, a slightly higher EQ and the willingness to listen and act interested.

Case in point: I used to see a humanistic counselor (she worked for a humanistic/free thought organization which in my country is sponsored by the government like the major religions) and she majored in philosophy and had no special training in psychotherapy. She was respectful, listened attentively and offered her honest opinion without any psychobabble or innane theories that don't hold water. The result: I began to trust her and these talks helped. I even told her I seriously considered suicide and she replied like any decent, open-minded, intelligent individual with a heart would: she encouraged me to explore the issue further, she told me she firmly believed in every individual's right to self-determination and said she would be sad if I'd do it. She helped me through some very difficult times when I had no-one else to talk to and confide in. I love her for it, I really do. She treated me like a human-being and not a test subject that had to be analyzed by the standard of some dogmatic ideology.

If that organization hadn't stopped offering these services I would still be going there.

Yeah I mean when I said some people can benefit from therapy, I didn't mean benefit from the training the therapist got or from their scripted techniques or whatever. The only therapists who were even close to helpful for me (none really helped change my life or psychological state) were ones who were not wedded to therapeutic concepts and techniques. They were willing to just talk to me like a human being and validate what I was feeling.

 

[Jean Améry]

Yeah I mean when I said some people can benefit from therapy, I didn't mean benefit from the training the therapist got or from their scripted techniques or whatever. The only therapists who were even close to helpful for me (none really helped change my life or psychological state) were ones who were not wedded to therapeutic concepts and techniques. They were willing to just talk to me like a human being and validate what I was feeling.

I did not assume you attribute the effectiveness of some therapists (which is true: most probably suck but some don't) to their 'training' and I agree with you it's all about their personal characteristics and how you feel about them. It's what the literature says too: the so called 'therapeutic alliance' (a fancy way of saying 'client-therapist relationship') is far more important in determining the outcome of therapy than the school or framework the therapist uses. In fact the framework hardly matters at all: that's how scientifically valid their theories are.

 

[lululoo]

I did not assume you attribute the effectiveness of some therapists (which is true: most probably suck but some don't) to their 'training' and I agree with you it's all about their personal characteristics and how you feel about them. It's what the literature says too: the so called 'therapeutic alliance' (a fancy way of saying 'client-therapist relationship') is far more important in determining the outcome of therapy than the school or framework the therapist uses. In fact the framework hardly matters at all: that's how scientifically valid their theories are.

Gotcha. we are on the same page. I guess I just wanted to be clear on my perspective, because "therapy can help" is typically interpreted in a different way than I mean it.

 

[Lara Francis]

I saw a new therapist today, honestly really regret going. I'm gonna lose it if one more person tries to make a "safety plan" with me.

Anyway, is anyone else frustrated with having to lie to everyone about your suicidal thoughts? I wish I could honestly tell someone about my plans to ctb but I don't want to get hospitalized. I know they're required to report it and I understand why, it's just so hard to feel like I can't tell anyone how I'm feeling.

You r doing the right thing.
I say this as someone who has suffered the consequences of being honest.please dont disclose your plans as u will b hospitalised.

 

[GinaIsReady]

No because I avoid people like therapists like the plague. I have nothing to gain from them. They wouldn't know how to provide me with therapy because my mind is completely alien compared to most people. And if you have bad luck, you might have to deal with a therapist who picked that job so they can have people committed to a psych ward for laughs.

Let's just say a guy came along and you two understood each other pretty well and the guy turned out to be a therapist. This is hypothetical. Would you give therapy with him a shot OR would you assume he couldn't help you and pass on the opportunity?

 

[Severen]

Let's just say a guy came along and you two understood each other pretty well and the guy turned out to be a therapist. This is hypothetical. Would you give therapy with him a shot OR would you assume he couldn't help you and pass on the opportunity?

He still wouldn't be able to help me if he understood me pretty well. Because I don't need therapy. I mean, he could donate money to my CTB fund though. That would be a huge help.

 

[TAW122]

I hear ya and yes I had at least one (maybe two) therapists during my life that have suggested that. It pissed me off to no end. I mean, I am looking for solutions and I am the one who was hurt, seeking mending, not being treated like some animal or some criminal! After that, I stopped seeing therapists as I knew it was just bunk and full of shit. It sucks that one can't be honest without risk of intervention and making one's situation even worse.

@Jean Améry Very true. I mostly don't find therapy useful at all because the vast majority of my problems are existential and things by my environment. Sometimes, there are just things that I am unable to control or change and I am faced with it. Talking about it doesn't help one bit. It doesn't get me any closer to the solution nor does it bring me any peace. If there isn't a concrete solution to the problem, then to me, talk therapy and other therapy is simply bullshit. I am also better off talking to people who will think critical, rationally, and look into ways of solving problems, like how to do X, how do you respond to XYZ, etc.

 

[HGL91]

It's 'safety' for them, not you. It's called 'covering one's ass'. In case you CTB or try to they can show they took all the proper 'precautions' and they weren't to blame/can't be held liable in a court of law.

Of course it's an extremely demeaning and childish practice. Safety plan': how old are you, 12?

Luckily I never faced such a clown but if it were to happen I'd mock them to their face. 'These morons really do seem to think suicide is something that just happens out of the blue, it's something the person has no control over and it certainly isn't a conscious, possibly extremely rational decision.

Imo so called 'mental health professionals' are either complete idiots (if they were halfway smart they would have found a career in a respectable, scientifcally valid or at least intellectually honest field) or deeply disturbed themselves. They're drawn to mental and emotional suffering like flies to shit. They feed on it (it's their livelihood) yet produce no real value: cures are a pipedream in the mental health field and actual pain management seems to consist of doling out antipsychotics like they were candy (dulling one's consciousness to the point of turning a person into a zombie) and all sorts of chemical rubbish that solves nothing and usually comes with nasty side-effects which can be permanent. At best they can show some empathy and help through meaningful conversations. Which is something virtually anyone can do as it does not require a specific degree or specialized training.

Of course this is just my opinion based on extensive reading about the subject in combination with my own experience and others' but if you think they could be helpful by all means go for it. I'm a firm believer in the principle that each individual knows what's best for them.

Hahaha! "It's 'safety' for them, not you. It's called 'covering one's ass'." This made me laugh so hard. It's so true and I don't think I've ever heard someone say that.

 

[TimeToDie]

I'm gonna lose it if one more person tries to make a "safety plan" with me.

Until a few months ago I had no idea that such things existed. Then I read about these ridiculous contracts that will keep you alive because suicidal folks would never break their promise to remain alive till a specified date. Nobody has ever presented such a thing to me since I'm not stupid enough to reveal what I really think.

 

[AngelOfDeath01]

I could not say my suicide plans to my psychologists because I fear going to a psych yard too. Honestly there was a time I tolerated going to psychologist because I wanted to jump from the top of the building.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I saw a new therapist today, honestly really regret going. I'm gonna lose it if one more person tries to make a "safety plan" with me.

Anyway, is anyone else frustrated with having to lie to everyone about your suicidal thoughts? I wish I could honestly tell someone about my plans to ctb but I don't want to get hospitalized. I know they're required to report it and I understand why, it's just so hard to feel like I can't tell anyone how I'm feeling.

Yes it absolutely sucks bit being able to let anyone know. But you can't trust people especially these days. So unless you want someone to bitch your chances I'd keep it to yourself.

 

[kkatt]

Yesterday,the suicidal feeling just hit me again reallly suddenly.
Someone suggested going back to the hospital (I'm not actually discharged yet),but i said it was ridiculous as all i've ever done is lie to them
My therapist has never even seen me not off my arse on drugs