by this do you mean seen as a woman by other people, or be biologically cis female?
if the former, i can relate. however, i believe there is no real definition of what a woman should be, as it is different for everyone. throughout history and in different cultures, gender stereotypes have changed and evolved constantly. two hundred years ago men were portrayed wearing powdered wigs and frilly lace socks, but now people would say that's a weird or inappropriate way to dress as a man. but the reality is, its all just fabric and chemicals. other people's opinions of what a man or woman is varies so much from person to person that it's lost all meaning. the only opinion that should matter to you is your own. i know that depending on your situation, other peoples opinions can result in you being in danger, so it's not as simple as just "be yourself and fuck everyone else", but for your mental wellbeing you can't abandon or ignore such an integral part of you, and you cant base it on external factors, it has to be from within yourself. after all, its YOUR gender identity, not anyone elses. if you can, access as much gender affirming resources as you can. whether thats a nice dress that makes you feel comfortable and happy, trying out different ways of doing make up if thats something you enjoy, or hormones/surgeries if they are available to you. anything to make the way you feel on the inside align more with the way you see yourself on the outside. dont bother looking up 'how to look more feminine' or stuff like that, bc from my experience it's all just vague advice from random different people who think that their idea of a specific gender stereotype is THE be all and end all of stereotypes. and no matter how deep i made my voice or how wide apart my legs were when i sat down, there was always someone telling me i was doing it wrong, according to THEM. when i realised that it's all bullshit and i should just dress the way i want because it makes me feel comfortable, i stopped caring about how other people saw me because no amount of external approval could match just being comfortable in my own body. and obviously surgeries and hormones helped a lot with that too, mostly because they were what I wanted for MY own reasons, not because i felt like i HAD to have them to fit other peoples expectations. i hope that made some sense sorry it's so long. i hope nothing i said diminished your feelings in anyway, that was not my intention. just wanted to give something back to you whether it's helpful or not.
if the latter, i can also relate. i always envied cis men and just wish i could've be born with the right chromosomes. it's something u just have to realise that unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it, all you can do is focus on what you CAN change.
i wish you all the best, it's never an easy journey discovering yourself, but it can be done. i believe in you. <3
