Discussion Have your discussions about suicide in real life been mostly positive/neutral/mostly negative?

[ericwilkinson]

Towards family, friends, coworkers, etc... Do they accept suicide in general as something okay, don't really care or condemn it?

 

[MartEU]

I've only talked about suicide with people that are struggeling with it too, I really dont think my family or other friends will understand and I dont want them to worry.

 

[thedutchguy]

I did to a small group. 1 in the family who surprisingly thought a like. Straight up said I all got it in place to go. She straight up said she planned it a year from now.

To friends / girlfriend they get it why but they try to there part of holding me here no point in that not gonna happen sorry for them. Hold them a facade for that I don't know whether I do commit or not. It's for them a grey area since I don't want to make them hold account for my suicide.

 

[Phoenix1990]

I don't talk about it with family or friends. If I do talk about it, I only touch upon it with mental health services but I tend to just say that I am just having suicidal thoughts/feelings.

 

[Rocksandsand]

A strange mixture. I can talk almost honestly about it to some close friends who I met in a psych ward. I've never directly said that I always want to die because these friends have strong fluctuations in their suicidality and I think it would freak them out to think that I am suicidal constantly

I am very honest with my GP and psychologist. Probably why my GP looks so stressed whenever I come in ha. The psychologist is very good about it - she reckons it's very normal for people with PTSD and MDD to feel suicidal as a survival mechanism. I don't think either of them realise the extent of things though. I have mentioned that I have everything ready to go and I am just waiting on some legal affairs to get tied up. Sometimes I think they think I am buying time for myself. That's fine for me - I'm okay with them letting me progress in my planning. But it does make me sad to think that they may suffer after I die. They truly did their best and they are both very good at their jobs. I really want them to know that

I haven't always had positive experiences with professionals though. I have had psych nurses tell me that I mustn't be serious, and psychiatrists and psychologists say that there's nothing they can do and that if I was serious I would be dead already... Which is incredibly frustrating when you have been resuscitated from a suicide attempt

My partner doesn't cope with it well at all. I try to keep him as removed from my suicidal thoughts and thoughts of self harm as much as possible. He turns very nasty towards me if he feels like I am at risk

I protect my brother and father from everything as much as possible. It's not so much that I have spoken to them about it ever... But they have seen the fall out of my most serious attempt. I just deny having any problems now because I hated having them involved in my mental health. My brother (not uncompassionately) once said to me that 'every problem is solvable' in the days after my attempt. I didn't have the heart to tell him that there is no problem to be solved... I simply don't feel like existence is worth it...

 

[tuto170]

I told my mom and she put me into mental hospital for a month so I'm not gonna mention anyone in real life anymore

 

[HQTD]

My family seems to don't care. The first time i tried with quetiapine (60 pills 200mg), somehow my mom appeared at my house during the first 30min which i believe, of course, prevented the drug to fully kick in. Then i went to hospital got a painful gastric lavage, stayed there for 2 days, lost my voice temporarily because of haloperidol and that was it.

Deep in their hearts i believe they will feel relieved when i am gone.
That is why I can not disappoint them.

Sorry my english, i speak portuguese

 

[disableddoll]

I had only discussed it with my parents once. My mother was heavily abusing me and when i went to see a doctor for a physical I confessed how much i wanted to die to her. My dad saw me admitted in a hospital and told me there that mental illness is a joke and i'm making it all up. My parents were divorced so he didn't know what my mother was doing to me. She lightened up for a while after that but things got worse quickly. It felt like telling her to kill me because i wanted to die was the only thing to slow her down and eventually that stopped working too. She must not have believed me either though because she ended up kicking me out a week before christmas, when i was 16.

 

[ladolcemorte]

I had one conversation with a friend a few years ago. She was the only person who has come close to understanding. And apparently it was a little too close for comfort for her, because she eventually ditched me as a friend and we haven't spoken for about a year.

Lately I have been a little bit more open than usual. I am in the hospital after being pulled off a bridge. I have been honest with some friends about why I am here. Some of them have asked if I feel like I would do it again and I was truthful and said yes. I just got tired of pretending. And since I am sure I am going to do it, I dont really care anymore.

I am getting really annoyed at dealing with the people at the hospital. This patronizing "you have to want to get better" and "no one can save you except you" bullshit. And "have you spoken to the social worker yet"? And they always say it as if the social worker is magical. Like a unicorn or something.

 

[andy69]

Negative.

When I mention it, I get the usual negative cliches: it's selfish, it's cowardly, it hurts other people, blah, blah, blah.

No one understands the place I am in. If I say something, people's response is a knee-jerk, opposite response. There is no attempt to understand what I am going through. People say they want me to live, but it's just cheap talk.

 

[ladolcemorte]

Negative.

When I mention it, I get the usual negative cliches: it's selfish, it's cowardly, it hurts other people, blah, blah, blah.

No one understands the place I am in. If I say something, people's response is a knee-jerk, opposite response. There is no attempt to understand what I am going through. People say they want me to live, but it's just cheap talk.

I agree it is a knee jerk response. Our culture has demonized suicide. Death is bad. No matter what. That's what people will tell you. The same people have no idea what your life is like, nor do they have the ability to or interest in helping you improve your life. It is all just towing the party line

 

[Codieb1]

Extremely negative, to the point I'd end up in a psych ward the very next day if I said anything at all about seriously wanting to off myself. It's been tough keeping it under wraps for a whole decade

 

[Lennox]

After my first attempt I was sectioned. That was the moment I talked about it with everyone. About the reactions I'd say it was a mixed bag. Though no one was really accepting of the fact or of my motives. Nowadays I avoid talking about it.

 

[EmptySteph62]

I've talked about it in therapy and to a close friend and family and I've gotta say no one seems to really understand it. Like they all wanted to help but just end up throwing out the same old "just think happy thoughts" and "it'll get better one day" bulls*^t that only makes it worse. In my experience anyway the only people who can actually understand and comfort me are those that have felt the same thing.
I do know people who have had relatively good experiences talking about it though so I guess you have to use your judgment with who you tell and how you tell them?

 

[Aliaiactaest]

I really haven't discussed it with many people. I mentioned it to my wife (we're now separated) and she said don't do it. LOL.

 

[TAW122]

I haven't discussed it with anyone that I know as most of the people around me are too 'religious' and their stances are often that of pro-life and anti-suicide. They also see the whole thing about suicide is mental illness and depression is mental illness, which both premises I reject strongly. As far as discussing similar topics indirectly, there was a time where I discussed about euthanasia for terminally ill patients and/or people in bad situations with my father. My father generally has a naive stance about suicide and he claims that anyone who wants to die (badly enough) will find a way, almost trivializing the act itself. If anything, someone who actually (seriously) makes an attempt and succeeds is anything but cowardly or easy. It takes tremendous courage to override the SI and then be able to push through the discomfort and pain in order to get to the other side. So in short, I believe most people, especially the people that I have dabbled this topic with all seem to react negatively towards it. I have yet to see people in my life (I don't talk to many people) that react neutrally, let alone positively in regards to the topic of death and suicide.

 

[lookin4areason]

waaaaayyy back in junior high when it first began, i showed a "suicide note" to a couple friends i had over. one of them laughed at me. seriously. ever since then i never trusted anyone to talk to about this. many many many years of this shit and nobody knows what i'm going through and that's how i want it. why? because i don't want help. i just want to die. so i put on my "normal person" face everyday and go through the motions until the day i can finally GET IT DONE.

 

[your pathologist]

I always hear feedback one of two ways in real life
Negative A
It's never the answer
Or
Negative B
What a pussy move

 

[ericwilkinson]

Negative B
What a pussy move

What do people mean by this?

 

[BipolarExpat]

They mean people who kill themselves are weak.

 

[Stan]

I have only had one conversation with my oldest friend in the world. It wasn't so much that the response was weak, but I had to reflect that I probably shocked the hell out of them and they were just not equipped for the conversation or statement that I made. So we really can't put it all on them, its not exactly something they teach everyone at school how to deal with.

 

[Astral316]

I only told my therapist about my intentions. He's happy with his life = I can be happy with my life if I just "change my thought process."

He'd probably try to convince a vegetable that it has a lot to live for, the sick bastard.

 

[wildmoon]

Friends and family do not agree with it and I can understand their thought process as they want the person they care about to be better, so I do not think badly of them.
"Think of what it would do to your family, you're selfish" is the line my ex used to give me and I do hold it against him because he was a gaslighting asshole.

 

[woxihuanni]

Some of them are respectful (but would never trust them with the actual plan), some will try to be patronising. Nobody has the right to treat you as if you are less than because you just don't want to do the massive emotional work others created for you by avoiding any work on their part.

Go talk to THEM as if they are less than.

 

[CURSED again]

Very negative for me - i got sneakily sectioned for talking about it and now cannot get a gun and at my age with all my problems still expected to not talk or act on it - people can be so cruel and selfish - i'm beginning to wonder if i'm the only person i know that actually has true empathy for another human being - i wouldn't treat a dog the way these people expect me to live - they know my problems and feelings but expect me to "just lump it" and continue being tortured - its disgusting. There needs to be a political and societal revolution so i can "own" my own body as opposed to "them" and have the emphasis changed to what i want (the guy that has to live in this shell) - you would think at 64 i had earned the right by now.

 

[your pathologist]

What do people mean by this?

Yeah, I've just been told people who take their own life are cop outs, losers, whichever adjective you choose

Its not my personal opinion
Just that of a few close people

Very negative for me - i got sneakily sectioned for talking about it and now cannot get a gun and at my age with all my problems still expected to not talk or act on it - people can be so cruel and selfish - i'm beginning to wonder if i'm the only person i know that actually has true empathy for another human being - i wouldn't treat a dog the way these people expect me to live - they know my problems and feelings but expect me to "just lump it" and continue being tortured - its disgusting. There needs to be a political and societal revolution so i can "own" my own body as opposed to "them" and have the emphasis changed to what i want (the guy that has to live in this shell) - you would think at 64 i had earned the right by now.

Tbh i think by 65 you should have the option
You put in your time
Your fee is paid to society
Imagine what we'd save on Social security

 

[woxihuanni]

Yeah, I've just been told people who take their own life are cop outs, losers, whichever adjective you choose

It's hilarious. What are they going to do if we are all of that? Kill us? Fuckers.

 

[your pathologist]

It's hilarious. What are they going to do if we are all of that? Kill us? Fuckers.

No it rings more like shaming us into accepting our suffering instead of acknowledging a very visble back door that they're too proud to admit is in the room.

 

[woxihuanni]

No it rings more like shaming us into accepting our suffering instead of acknowledging a very visble back door that they're too proud to admit is in the room.

I know, I am just immune to that shaming by now.

 

[Azul]

I just don't talk about it, nobody knows I am sucidal, I don't want other people to know about this