Discussion Have you ever wanted to make it “pretty”?

[InaudibleEcho]

Ive always wanted the moment I CTB be with minimal pain and/or maximum aesthetics. I even somewhat romanticized the thought. I wrote a poetic little paragraph about drowning to death. Although now that I've heard drowning is a painful way to go, it's not what I want.
But sometimes I would fantasize about my death. I used to imagine the day of my seventeenth birthday. I would be doing a livestream and listening to music and acting like everything is normal. Then the song Seventeen by Marina starts playing. As soon as the chorus hits, I jump off. It's romantic and cringy, I know.
But the idea of it being pretty seems comforting. I want my last moments to not be me suffering, but my overjoyed that my suffering is finally over. And dying to a song would make it much more..momentous.

 

[BetterInTheory]

Not pretty in the aesthetic sense, but more like I should feel comfortable and at peace with my surroundings. Maybe that's why the idea of lying down on soft grass under a thick canopy of trees where i can only hear birdsong is so damn appealing to me

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Yes indeed drowning is cruel and horrible as it's nothing else but soffocation and breathing water, except one is 100% unconscious before "falling" into the water.

Imo there are only two methods that make CTB "pretty and comforting" They are N which is unfortunately very difficult to get hands on and the CO method. Both work "while being asleep and never waking up again" and bodies look as humane as possible. There's SN which is also a good option and almost painless but I heard that the body will look greyish after so that might not be such a pretty look.

Unless I'd be lucky to get hands on N my preferred way to CTB is the CO method while being asleep.

 

[InaudibleEcho]

Yes indeed drowning is cruel and horrible as it's nothing else but soffocation and breathing water, except one is 100% unconscious before "falling" into the water.

Imo there are only two methods that make CTB "pretty and comforting" They are N which is unfortunately very difficult to get hands on and the CO method. Both work "while being asleep and never waking up again" and bodies look as humane as possible. There's SN which is also a good option and almost painless but I heard that the body will look greyish after so that might not be such a pretty look.

Unless I'd be lucky to get hands on N my preferred way to CTB is the CO method while being asleep.

What are N and CO?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

What are N and CO?

N = Nembutal, CO = carbon monoxide

here's a list of all abbreviations / acronyms we use here:

Acronyms

i hate acronyms, i love tables don't use acronyms, please (this is just for lookup purposes) communication is extremely important (especially here), so don’t take shortcuts: Short Form Delimiter Long Form Notes AE = antiemetic AFAIC = as far as I'm concerned AFAIK = as far as I...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[FuneralCry]

What I've always wished for is a peaceful death which is like never waking again, to leave this world peacefully feeling so relieved that I will finally escape from all the suffering is the most ideal outcome to me. I see so much beauty in being able to leave this world in such a peaceful way, returning to the ideal state of non-existence but sadly such a suicide would always be far too good to be true in this hellish reality where we are expected to be prisoners to this existence until we cease existing anyway.

 

[Ai-chan]

I've wanted a death that was symbolic. One that really showed how angry I am at my family, society, myself, everything

I considered hanging for that reason admittedly. Hanging myself in the living room, the garage, my neighbors tree (long story). I also considered taking something that would kill me at night and then my parents finding me in the morning, with the most at peace expression and holding a suicide note

You want to send that one last message. I understand that sentiment. I wanted to do that too, and part of me still does

 

[hells "angel"]

I definitely know what you mean. My most vivid romanticized suicide would be drowning in the river, in winter. It would be freezing, thick blankets of snow, fresh snowflakes creating new layers; washing away the footsteps that indicated anyone was ever there. I would lay in the cold snow for awhile, till I can't feel my fingertips. Walk into the water. Or even better, jump off a cliff into it. Maybe I would only break a few bones hitting the water. I would struggle. Thrash about. Gasp for air as water fills my lungs. Cough. Choke. Struggle. Then, silence. Utter, peaceful silence.

Ive always wanted the moment I CTB be with minimal pain and/or maximum aesthetics. I even somewhat romanticized the thought. I wrote a poetic little paragraph about drowning to death. Although now that I've heard drowning is a painful way to go, it's not what I want.
But sometimes I would fantasize about my death. I used to imagine the day of my seventeenth birthday. I would be doing a livestream and listening to music and acting like everything is normal. Then the song Seventeen by Marina starts playing. As soon as the chorus hits, I jump off. It's romantic and cringy, I know.
But the idea of it being pretty seems comforting. I want my last moments to not be me suffering, but my overjoyed that my suffering is finally over. And dying to a song would make it much more..momentous.