Have you ever had a suicide dream?

[ForgetIExist]

I keep thinking back to this suicide dream I had a few years ago. In the dream I jumped out my bedroom window to kill myself. I wasn't scared, I didn't regret the jump, and I didn't have any injuries. I think I even tried it a second time. I felt such a sense of peace about the whole thing, and I honestly felt disappointed when I woke up because I knew a fall from that height wouldn't realistically kill me, but I really wanted to do it.

I haven't had a suicide dream since, but I honestly kinda want to have one again. I just think it would be an interesting experience.

 

[scary]

I actually somewhat recently had a dream of CTB by just laying in my bed while charcoal burned. They say dreams reflect your inner desires and that is probably my most ideal method, you don't have to do anything that's a strain on your SI, you can just lie there and even sleep while it burns. It was a pretty peaceful dream and it ended with me seeing a white light, that's all I remember before I woke up.

 

[lilb0wpeep]

Idk if this counts a suicide "dream" but most nights the only way I can fall asleep is by planning out/imagining different scenarios in which I'm dying. And sometimes they'll turn into a dream, if I remember it. It's definitely not helping clear any 'ideation' but it's also the only thing that 1 puts me to sleep 2 helps me be okay with having to go on living. It's the thought that one day and hopefully soon, that one day I won't have to.

 

[Topaz111]

A month ago or so, I shot myself in the head in a dream. I don't remember what the context of it was, but I remember bleeding out and the feeling of relief and bliss.. then I woke up and it felt so so horrible and wrong.

 

[ForgetIExist]

Da

A month ago or so, I shot myself in the head in a dream. I don't remember what the context of it was, but I remember bleeding out and the feeling of relief and bliss.. then I woke up and it felt so so horrible and wrong

Damn...

Idk if this counts a suicide "dream" but most nights the only way I can fall asleep is by planning out/imagining different scenarios in which I'm dying. And sometimes they'll turn into a dream, if I remember it. It's definitely not helping clear any 'ideation' but it's also the only thing that 1 puts me to sleep 2 helps me be okay with having to go on living. It's the thought that one day and hopefully soon, that one day I won't have to.

I do this too sometimes. I envision myself driving to an empty parking lot in the middle of the night, drinking SN, and then just laying down and chilling

 

[blush]

yea i've had multiple sn dreams. kind of brainrot but it's funny

 

[ForgetIExist]

yea i've had multiple sn dreams. kind of brainrot but it's funny

OMG do tell

 

[blush]

OMG do tell

my dreams seem to think it's a peaceful "letting go" sensation, feeling everything shutting down. i would characterize it as "impairing, but peaceful", or a sense of willful resignation and tempting peacefulness? ofc, it has no bearing on reality.

 

[voidblankmore1]

Just had one like a week ago. I shot myself and felt myself on cloud 9 as everything slowly faded back into reality. I felt almost homesick thinking about it the rest of the day.

 

[Forveleth]

I had a dream where you could get legal assisted death. It took two injections, 5 minutes apart. I got in, had the first shot, then chickened out. I woke up and wanted to cry. My subconscious is an asshole.

 

[aesthetic]

i had several dreams where i killed myself and every time i woke up i wished i was dead.

 

[FoxSauce]

Yeah did have one,taking place in a gas station, we were getting robbed and he killed my sisters and father and mother. I snapped and shot the guy then I realized I killed someone that was innocent, my hands were shaking. Looked myself in the mirror , saw a deranged me with a ear to ear smile and then started to laugh qnd then I shot myself.

I have no idea what that was nor didnt make a semblance of sence.

 

[ForgetIExist]

Just had one like a week ago. I shot myself and felt myself on cloud 9 as everything slowly faded back into reality. I felt almost homesick thinking about it the rest of the day.

Homesick is an interesting way to put it. I never thought of that before!

 

[nowitscomingback]

I had a dream of ctb with He, in the dream it was like going to sleep. I hope it is possible to recreate the same feeling using opioids when I actually ctb, the dream made ctb feel very pleasant and made me fear it a lot less.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I had a dream where you could get legal assisted death. It took two injections, 5 minutes apart. I got in, had the first shot, then chickened out. I woke up and wanted to cry. My subconscious is an asshole.

I daydream about a euthanasia drink constantly. It exists! But there's no one to ask for it.

I think I might be "bouncing off" suicide again, i.e. getting "better." I just can't do it and living might be less painful than sitting around the house depressed. This might be a passing mood.

 

[TomIsNotMyName]

A few years ago I had a dream where I wanted to jump from a high place but I was too scared. And a few months ago I had a dream where I drank SN but I don't remember how it ended

 

[violetforever]

no but i had dreams where i was shot or stabbed and i felt it in the same area of my body when i woke up.

 

[a-lien]

yeah, some.. the last one, I was still living with my partens...
and I got disturbed. The key turned (it was closed) so I need to stop. really regret it, that it didn't work (In the dream I regret)..
But I wanted to use a method, I won't do in real life ... (anymore, and never preferred it) , thats kind of sad.
would be better, when it would be my preferred method, to see what it's like.
and this kind of situations is not real, I don't live there anymore..

 

[BrainSplatter]

yea i've had multiple sn dreams. kind of brainrot but it's funny

Yeah same here I had I dream where I took SN but it was sodium nitrate not nitrite. I was watching my body dying from above like some kind of astral projection and I was in pain saying "help me" again and again I'm trying to make sense of it. I think it was my brains way causing fear maybe some unconscious form of self preservation because I fear a painful death I want to die in peace not to suffer

 

[lv-nii]

I have had many dreams about that, but they especially happen when I'm conscious inside them.

The one I remember best because of the sensation was when I shot myself in the head. I saw everything go black and felt an overwhelming peace. I actually felt bad when I woke up. I wish everything had ended there.

 

[thefarter]

Yeah!!! i think i drank bleach, started spitting up blood, someone walked in and i freaked out and hid everything. lol. im pretty sure that was it (idk if im making that up though)

 

[socksnsandles]

strangely no. daydream about it all day tho

 

[SmigSauer]

I rarely dream, but on the off-chance I remember them, they are frequently about suicide. The same thing generally happens every time: I go into a public area and blow my head off in front of a huge crowd. I want to communicate my feelings to them, with a very big exclamation mark.

 

[thevoidpointer]

Yeah, I have a few times. I usually don't dream that much because I don't get much sleep but I have very vivid dreams when I have them. I remember waking up screaming a bit a couple times when dreaming but I don't remember what, I don't think it was suicide.

 

[TomIsNotMyName]

Last night I had a dream where a package with Nembutal was delivered to my house, I woke up before I could take it though

 

[Defenestration]

I love dreaming of ctb but sad when I wake up

 

[Spike Spiegel]

I have dreams where I die semi frequently. However on occasion they are specifically suicide dreams. The most vivid involved me shooting myself. I remember holding the gun in my hand; a revolver. I remember putting the gun under my chin. I specifically remember tilting the gun back so that the shot would kill me and not just blow off my jaw. I pulled the trigger and I don't remember anything else. I woke up feeling uneasy, tired and confused. The scariest part in my opinion was how confident I was in my actions.
I had another dream where I was driving over a bridge with my mother in the passenger seat. I looked at here said I love you and I'm sorry and drove the car over the side of the bridge. It was a local bridge too. One I have driven over dozens if not hundreds of times. I remember the truck tilting forward in the air as the weight from the engine pulled it towards the water. I remember hitting the water the airbags going off and then nothing.
I once had a dream where I was hiding from a shooter. At one point I played dead. They found me and shot me in the head. That is the only time I actually remember the dream continuing after I died. I felt cold I felt the blackness setting in then eventually I woke up.
I have no idea if there is any meaning to these dreams or if they are just manifests of whatever I was going through at that time. I admit its been a few months since I have had any dreams that visceral. However the ones I listed are forever stamped in my head.
And for those wondering, I'm on Lexapro, clonidine, take a nightly allergy med before bed, smoke weed and nicotine all factors that contribute to the state of peoples dreams.

 

[nitrogenous]

I have had lots of suicide dreams, and before knowing this website, it was my way to explore different types of ways to end my life and assess how I felt in that dream dying with that method. I even had something more real where I was fully awake but my vision and mind was in a totally different place (like a dream but I was 100% awake), and was super upset once that episode was over that it was not real considering how real it felt.

 

[insectontrial]

Yes - I've had a dream where I shot myself in the head. Unfortunately I live in a country with strict gun laws (UK).