I
Idontmatter
Just want it all to be over
- Oct 25, 2021
- 647
I have to start writing my suicide note. It's about just about the last thing I need to do. This is going to be the hardest letter that I will have written. Mainly because it's going to be to my husband. Lots of tears will be shed. With all of my mental issues he has been my rock. The most patient person ever. I just hope he understands why I left. I'll explain everything in my letter but one of my fears besides failing to die is my husband hating me for leaving. I'll understand if he does though. I have many reasons why I hate myself but one is being a weak person that would rather die than fight more to live. I'm just so exhausted and any motivation to live is gone. My suicidal thoughts are literally 24/7. I've got 2 weeks left to make sure he is all set up on bills and stuff and get passwords written down for him. I'm ready to die and have accepted my decision but it's still going to be an emotional 2 weeks. I'll only delay my suicide if a miracle happens and I find a little bit of hope and that's a low chance of happening. Sorry for my rambling. I've got a bad habit of doing that. I just feel like a horrible person.