Venting Have a week left, and I'm wasting the time I have left on school

[peridot-tears]

I have my day picked out for next week (the 8th. It's my favorite number, so I'll be 21 and 8 months on the 8th.), so why am I going through the motions like this even matters? I'm studying for a test I have on Thursday, and thinking about homework I have due Sunday. Why am I worried about school of all things? It's like my subconscious knows I'm going to back out, feel embarrassed, and go back to school work like nothing happened in the first place. I want to have fun, play games, and watch the stuff I like before I go, but I feel so stuck on doing the usual, like it's pushing the date one more day ahead.
Too depressed to do school without a plan, too scared to face reality once that plan is in motion, I guess.

 

[Freebandzgang]

Literally how i spent my last week. If i stop going to classes it would make my stress 10x higher. I think i still worry about school for 2 reasons. 1: so no one worries about me and 2: so if by any chance i fail ctb i wont be in the shit. It makes my last weeks miserable knowing i am about to die but cant enjoy my final moments. It hurts