ConfusedHurting2632
Student
- Dec 22, 2021
- 154
When people realize I can't do basic shit, can't learn basic shit, and can't comprehend simple subjects they basically treat me as subhuman. They see me being mentally retarded as a way, a free ticket to treat me like the scum of the Earth. For the record though besides mental retardation I have so many officially diagnosed illnesses I can't even count, like major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, severe bipolar, schizophrenia, schizoaffective, borderline personality disorder, agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive disorder, ADHD, etc, etc, etc.
And before anyone says this, like people commonly tell me, that "I write really well online and come across as relatively intelligent," this is basically where my intelligence starts and ends. At school I did horrible in basically every subject, and even in special education I made exactly zero progress. I'm only really decent at expressing myself through writing, like journaling. But it has to be digital writing, I can't really handwrite. And it has to be personal things pertaining to myself and how they affect me. I can't write about just any subject.
But in real life my intelligence is so limited that I can't brush my teeth, tie my shoes, or even wipe my ass at 23 years old. My parents have to do everything for me. My issues are mostly mental rather than physical, but even so I'm literally unable to do basic shit.
Worst part though...I myself get frustrated when people are "acting stupid."
Like if someone makes a mistake that seems obvious to me. Or they're slow to understand something simple I'm explaining. Or they make a mistake that could've been avoided.
Though to be fair, I don't call them out. I'm mentally annoyed but don't say anything like they do me.
But either way...I'm equally as judgemental as they are. Making me just as bad or even worse than the people who treat me like shit.
So perhaps I deserve it either way. They are assholes but so am I, perhaps even worse than them.
Some mentally retarded people are sweet and innocent, but I am the exact opposite.
This all connects to the many reasons why I'm desperate for suicide.
And before anyone says this, like people commonly tell me, that "I write really well online and come across as relatively intelligent," this is basically where my intelligence starts and ends. At school I did horrible in basically every subject, and even in special education I made exactly zero progress. I'm only really decent at expressing myself through writing, like journaling. But it has to be digital writing, I can't really handwrite. And it has to be personal things pertaining to myself and how they affect me. I can't write about just any subject.
But in real life my intelligence is so limited that I can't brush my teeth, tie my shoes, or even wipe my ass at 23 years old. My parents have to do everything for me. My issues are mostly mental rather than physical, but even so I'm literally unable to do basic shit.
Worst part though...I myself get frustrated when people are "acting stupid."
Like if someone makes a mistake that seems obvious to me. Or they're slow to understand something simple I'm explaining. Or they make a mistake that could've been avoided.
Though to be fair, I don't call them out. I'm mentally annoyed but don't say anything like they do me.
But either way...I'm equally as judgemental as they are. Making me just as bad or even worse than the people who treat me like shit.
So perhaps I deserve it either way. They are assholes but so am I, perhaps even worse than them.
Some mentally retarded people are sweet and innocent, but I am the exact opposite.
This all connects to the many reasons why I'm desperate for suicide.
