Has your crying changed?

[nihilistic_dragon]

Do you guys still have the ability to cry or have you lost it? Have your crying patterns changed since you decided to ctb?

Although I am not a very emotional person, tears used to kind of comfort me. It used to be very hard for me to make myself cry. But I used to feel good after crying.

It is easier for me to cry now that I am so far gone, I am so stressed and depressed that I can make myself cry in literally two seconds. But it is not a comforting act anymore. I feel like shit after I cry and just want to cry more.

 

[thebiggestduck17]

I lost the ability to cry after all the things people have done to me

 

[cloudyskye]

Weirdly I find myself tearing yp over small things. Tv commercials movies etc.... I can't cry when I would really like to

 

[sevennn]

i cry a lot louder now. and it's a lot worse. because i'm so hurt that i have to die when i wanted to live so badly. and i tried so hard to get better. and all is lost and gone now. and it hurts

 

[divinemistress36]

I cry over dropping a pen

 

[lawlietsph]

I'm either histerically crying and screaming or the tears are just running down my face in complete silence.
Sometimes I cry while eating and I have no idea why. Maybe because I seek comfort and love from food, and when I don't get it, it breaks my heart.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Weirdly I find myself tearing yp over small things. Tv commercials movies etc.... I can't cry when I would really like to

Ugh yes same happens to me, I tear up over nonsense now.

i cry a lot louder now. and it's a lot worse. because i'm so hurt that i have to die when i wanted to live so badly. and i tried so hard to get better. and all is lost and gone now. and it hurts

Yes I hear you. There is so much pain, I think I could cry 24/7 for a month straight.

I cry over dropping a pen

Me too, I often find myself tearing up over silly things. I am just in so much pain and under so much stress.

I cry over dropping a pen

Me too, I often find myself tearing up over silly things. I am just in so much pain and under so much stress.

 

[PlannedforPeru]

Yes, I can cry on command now because I have a large selection of tear-jerking things to pull from. Way TMI and pathetic sounding probably but my cries now are a lot more manic when they do come on involuntarily, sometimes it's sprinkled in with laughter and other times I physically curl up.

 

[littleadonis]

I lost the ability to cry after watching the film Dead Man's Shoes. It emptied my tear wells and now I can't cry anymore. Absolutely incredible film in the worst way possible. Don't watch that film if you're not ready to be fucked up for the rest of your night and the day after as well.

 

[CinerateX]

Crying has never felt good to me, nor has it ever been relieving. I'm scared and hopeless, cry, then just feel drained, scared and hopeless. I wonder if that'll ever change.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I never really had the ability to cry over my struggles to begin with. I've cried once when seeing at how horrible other people suffer in existence but never once for how I suffer horribly in existence even though I think my issues are so bad to where I should be crying over it

 

[isolatedl111]

Do you guys still have the ability to cry or have you lost it? Have your crying patterns changed since you decided to ctb?

Although I am not a very emotional person, tears used to kind of comfort me. It used to be very hard for me to make myself cry. But I used to feel good after crying.

It is easier for me to cry now that I am so far gone, I am so stressed and depressed that I can make myself cry in literally two seconds. But it is not a comforting act anymore. I feel like shit after I cry and just want to cry more.

Haven't cried in like 5 years

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Didn't cry for a long time, then had a period of ~2 years where I pretty much couldn't stop (we're talking 40+ times a month), and now I'm back to being completely dry.

 

[HereTomorrow]

It's not that I have the inability to cry, but it is quite rare.

When I do cry, it's either when I'm thinking too deep of my traumatic therapy sessions or something incredibly stupid. The weird thing is the trauma induced crying is only small tears, and the stupid reasons cause me to curl up sobbing and being overall miserable.

I don't cry about my freedom to CTB, it brings me peace.

 

[Tuonetar_]

Weirdly I find myself tearing yp over small things. Tv commercials movies etc.... I can't cry when I would really like to

Same here. A sentimental advertisement, the sound of a piano, or a cute video of a cat on the internet gets the tears running but when I'm actually upset about something, my eyes are totally dry. Last week someone at work said something that REALLY hurt my feeling, but I didn't start crying until ~4 hours later when I got home and I watched a clip from The Sopranos on YouTube lol.

 

[Dusk till dawn]

I'm too numb to cry, i can hardly sob or cry

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

I'm in a strange spot. I had spells earlier this year where I couldn't stop crying and now that I'm at my lowest, I can't bring myself to anymore. Not sure which is better or worse.

 

[lnlybnny]

I pretty much still have the ability. Today for example I cried a lot because I miss my favorite person. I'm extremely sensitive in that regard and in other matters too.

 

[theolivanderroach]

My dad used to beat me for crying and wouldn't stop beating me until I stopped crying. Crying has always been an extremely shameful thing for me, even when I'm alone. When I do cry, I'm alone and silent.

 

[goodSmelly]

I haven't been able to cry in over a year, even when I want to

 

[Forever Sleep]

I cry most days. It does still sort of help. Just a release of what's inside I suppose.

Do you have people around you OP? Do they mind you crying? I live alone. On the rare occasions I see my parents, I'll inevitably cry at some point and my Dad hates it. That really annoys me though. I think it's necessary to express emotions. It does no good to just bottle stuff up.

On the handful of times I saw a college therapist, I couldn't seem to stop crying. It was pretty embarassing. Mostly about my Mum- she died when I was 3. The therapist suggested maybe I hadn't properly grieved for her. I do really love my Dad but I do resent him for that. I don't feel like he let me grieve for her because, he couldn't cope with it himself. It's understandable but it feels like it's just stayed with me my whole life. Most of the times I cry, it's because I'm missing my deceased family members- multiple members now.

It's kind of weird that we do cry. I suppose it has a function. Signals to others we are distressed. I've even read that it might release endorphines. It doesn't always help though. Sometimes, I just end up with a wet, sore face!

 

[arandomname]

My dad used to beat me for crying and wouldn't stop beating me until I stopped crying. Crying has always been an extremely shameful thing for me, even when I'm alone. When I do cry, I'm alone and silent.

I've pretty much been unable to cry most of my life up until recently from having the same experience growing up. Really does make it feel impossible to get it out.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

My ability to cry has been really weird the last few years. For most of my life, I could cry easily and tear up at anything. Then two years ago before I was on any medication I realized I was unable to cry, even though I felt like I wanted to. Don't know why. Then a little bit later in the year, I was finally able to cry for whatever reason, and I cried hysterically all the time. Now I would say for about the last year I am back to being unable to cry. I am stoic you could torture a puppy in front of me and I wouldn't be able to shed a tear. It's uncomfortable, but at least I don't have that urge to cry so it's really strange

 

[Failed.Angel]

It changed a lot. I used to have so much difficult to cry even on my father is funeral when I was young (13), I was unable to really tear up and was holding together quite well.
And that followed up for years. I would cry from a long time to another long time but it would feel kind like a relief, I would try to force it sometimes to feel better.
Today (31) for about a year the crying got much stronger to the point I dropped at least some tears almost every day for a bit more than a year now...

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I used to cry all night about my miserable life situation when I was the ripe old age of…….19. Unfortunately I must have dried up an entire tear duct or two because I have since lost this ability. I often used to cry whenever I saw certain movies, songs, or shows, but this still happens quite rarely. Nowadays I mostly only cry when I'm in physical pain or eating spicy food or close to orgasm. Even if I'm not crying on the outside, I sure as hell am crying internally every single night. I'm always begging and pleading and screaming in my heart at how miserably lonely I am but also sometimes I cry laughing because I'm getting what I deserve.

 

[outrider567]

Do you guys still have the ability to cry or have you lost it? Have your crying patterns changed since you decided to ctb?

Although I am not a very emotional person, tears used to kind of comfort me. It used to be very hard for me to make myself cry. But I used to feel good after crying.

It is easier for me to cry now that I am so far gone, I am so stressed and depressed that I can make myself cry in literally two seconds. But it is not a comforting act anymore. I feel like shit after I cry and just want to cry more.

After my girlfriend of 35 years, suddenly died almost 3 years ago, I've lost count on how many times tears have been in my eyes

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Yes, I can cry on command now because I have a large selection of tear-jerking things to pull from. Way TMI and pathetic sounding probably but my cries now are a lot more manic when they do come on involuntarily, sometimes it's sprinkled in with laughter and other times I physically curl up.

I hear you..sometimes I wonder if now is the time to start my acting career lmao. I can cry on command so easily now.

Crying has never felt good to me, nor has it ever been relieving. I'm scared and hopeless, cry, then just feel drained, scared and hopeless. I wonder if that'll ever change.

It used to feel good but now it's exactly like you've described.

My dad used to beat me for crying and wouldn't stop beating me until I stopped crying. Crying has always been an extremely shameful thing for me, even when I'm alone. When I do cry, I'm alone and silent.

That is so incredibly said :( Sorry you were forced to go through this bullshit :(

I cry most days. It does still sort of help. Just a release of what's inside I suppose.

Do you have people around you OP? Do they mind you crying? I live alone. On the rare occasions I see my parents, I'll inevitably cry at some point and my Dad hates it. That really annoys me though. I think it's necessary to express emotions. It does no good to just bottle stuff up.

On the handful of times I saw a college therapist, I couldn't seem to stop crying. It was pretty embarassing. Mostly about my Mum- she died when I was 3. The therapist suggested maybe I hadn't properly grieved for her. I do really love my Dad but I do resent him for that. I don't feel like he let me grieve for her because, he couldn't cope with it himself. It's understandable but it feels like it's just stayed with me my whole life. Most of the times I cry, it's because I'm missing my deceased family members- multiple members now.

It's kind of weird that we do cry. I suppose it has a function. Signals to others we are distressed. I've even read that it might release endorphines. It doesn't always help though. Sometimes, I just end up with a wet, sore face!

My living situation is hell right now...I have very little privacy and it's a very loud environment...I do wish I had the privacy to just sit somewhere completely alone and undisturbed and have a proper meltdown. I've also read that crying is supposed to release endorphins. I guess my body is way too broken now and it doesn't release anything anymore haha.